


Villains Never Prosper

by IwritewhenIfeellikeit



Category: Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Super, Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Action & Romance, Alien Biology, Alien Culture, Alien Gender/Sexuality, Awkward Conversations, Blood and Gore, Bondage, Character Death, Cloaca Sex, Dark Humor, Dirty Jokes, Dirty Talk, Dysfunctional Relationships, Eventual Smut, Fatherhood, Fighting, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Gender Dysphoria, Humor, Infidelity, Jealousy, Love Bites, Love/Hate, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Meet the Family, Mild Kink, Miscarriage, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Romance, Rough Sex, Secret Relationship, Sexual Roleplay, Threesome - M/M/M, coping with loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-04-29 06:50:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 29
Words: 77,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14467290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IwritewhenIfeellikeit/pseuds/IwritewhenIfeellikeit
Summary: It's been a year since the Tournament of power and Freeza has successfully managed to rebuild a sizable army. Not satisfied with the overall strength of his troops, he decides to bring back a buddy from Hell to help him in his pursuit to become the one true ruler of Universe 7.





	1. You Break It, You Buy It

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so I kinda lied. I just couldn't help myself, I missed writing my bois and I really didn't have many good oneshot Ideas. This is a direct sequel to my fic "A Vacation From Hell". It's based off a theoretical Dragon Ball Super arc I came up with to bring Cell back on the show( although I modified it so that the two already know each other and the gratuitous smut). I'm not sure how often I will update this one since the weather is getting nice I'll probably take time to write while I sit out the sun. This will be the end all be all as far as multi-chapter fics, so I hope to make it a fun read for you all. (Update 5/7/2018: I'm going to be drawing illustrations for this fic, so if you're new or returning reader stay tuned for that.)

A year has passed since the multiversal tournament came to a close, Freeza now finds himself once more in command of his empire. After many years of prolonged absence, his foothold on the universe became fractured, a mere shell of its former glory as other burgeoning despotic regimes usurped his once plentiful bounty. In the meantime, he was able to scrap together a ragtag group of followers, many were survivors of the lucrative planets he plundered as well as defectors from rival empires. Uncharacteristically, this newly resurrected Freeza opts to retain his true form even around his troops. He's done with suppressing his full potential around others, instead choosing to flaunt it no matter the danger it could pose to his reign. The tyrant slumps into his floating chair, his tiny spindly fingers gliding up against his chin as he relays his thoughts to his closest advisor.

"I've been informed from my intel that the Namekian Dragon balls have been used recently, this is a minor setback, but could prove to be an irrtance. The only other Dragon balls not dormant at the moment are the Earth balls. Unfortunately, the Super Dragon balls are far out of the realm of possibility, we'll need vast advancements in Dragon radar technology before we could even make such attempts. So Commander Crossaiant, I'll need you to gather up a team of your best men to escort me to Earth."

"Earth!... But isn't that the place you were last defeated, my Lord? There are many dangerous Earthlings there that may try to thwart our mission. Shouldn't we wait for the allotted time on the Namekian balls to elapse?"

Freeza places his hand out towards the frightened commander, he adopts a squeezing motion. The commander drops to the ground tucking his head between his knees, his body shaking profusely. It's then that an all too familiar chant reverberates throughout the cramped tactical room.

"Ohohoho! You caught me at the right time it seems, commander, the old me would not have hesitated to crush you into a pile of dust. Consider yourself lucky that pawns are not as easy to come by these days. I will say one thing, you're right about my numerous defeats on that forsaken planet. Their Saiyan monkey guardians are just too powerful for me to take on right now, but very soon that will all change."

Freeza places out his palm, a small purple orb encircled by black electricity floats above it. The ki he holds within his grasp is Hakai energy, although a much less potent form. Some months after the tournament of power ended, Whis reached out to the tyrant offering to apprentice him and in doing so, relinquished his training with Vegeta and Goku. While he is still unseasoned with his newfound destructive energy, he knows the pay off of his continued training will be immense.

 "Why yes, how could I forget to factor in your training with Whis-Sama."

"As you can see I'm far from my full capabilities, which is why I came up with the three best wishes to help aid in my future endeavors. You see, the refuse leftover of my former glorious empire is not up to par with the threats at hand, which is why I must resurrect the most elite soldiers at my disposal."

"I see, like your father and the Ginyu force?"

"I want all my troops slain by those monkeys on Namek revived, as well as father, and a much stronger potential ally."

The commander scratches his head in confusion, "A much stronger ally?"

"Yes, the one that was able to destroy Goku. Someone who at the time had power vastly exceeding my own, and while I have since surpassed him, his potential still intrigues me."

"But... Lord Freeza, what about your wish for immortality?"

"I've long since given up on such a wish. I hate to say it, but my time training during my first resurrection taught me the value of perseverance. What I was born with eclipses all beyond measure, but I've come to realize that if I don't supplement that with training, all will be for not. I suppose you could say that I don't want things handed to me on a silver platter, and besides, why wish for immortality, when I can have that and much more?"

"Understood, I'll start prepping the fleet, we'll make sure to trove the planet for its Dragon balls before your ship is set to arrive."

The commander bows as Freeza leaps up from his chair, the tyrant's arms locked behind his back as he exits the tactical room. The lizard makes his way to his private quarters in the large dome ship. As the night wraps up he tucks himself into bed, his racing thoughts preventing him from getting adequate rest. "I promise, I'll bring you back! I just need more time", he thinks as the memories of his lost daughter floods his mind. Eventually, his nagging worries subsides and he wanders off to sleep.

It's a week after his conversation with his commander, his minions successfully manage to collect every Dragon ball before his craft arrives.Captain Croissant speaks into a communication device on his scouter, "We got all 7 Dragon balls, prepare to land Lord Freeza's ship." The spaceship touches down in a hollowed portion of dense woodland. They made sure to be discreet with their unannounced visit to Earth, opting to summon Shenron across the world from where Goku and the other z warriors reside. The hatch of the craft opens and out walks Freeza followed closely by two henchmen. Croissant bows in reverence as he presents the 7 balls to Freeza,"Here they are, Lord Freeza."

"Splendid work, Croissant!"

The balls start to glow and coalesce into a spiral of golden energy high above the clouds, disrupting the flora around the area. Out of that sparkling slab of light brought forth the familiar silhouette of a serpentine beast. The mass gains a green hue as it's luster wears off revealing the face of Shenron. "I WILL GRANT 3 WISHES TO YOU WHO DARE WAKE ME FROM MY ETERNAL SLUMBER." The loud booming voice can be felt echoing through the bones of the Freeza force as they watch on in awe.

Croissant timidly steps closer to the looming behemoth," Bring back, King Cold!"

"GRANTED!"

A large beam of energy emerges between the Commander and Freeza's henchman, it evaporates revealing King Cold. "Your Highness!" Freeza's minions instantly bow as their king looks at them in confusion.

Cold looks over to his son whose body has since been restored. "Son!? What happened here!? Your body is back to normal... And this planet... Are we still on that forsaken blue orb? Did you somehow manage to defeat Trunks!?"

"I will explain the details to you later, father. Our plan is to leave this filthy planet as quickly as possible," Freeza shoots the commander a glance, egging him to commence the second wish.

"Ok, my second wish is, bring back the one who defeated Goku!"

The Dragon stalls a bit before conjuring up an unexpected response."BAD IDEA, RETHINK YOUR WISH WISLEY."

The commander looks back towards Freeza in dismay, the courage now drained from his face, he picks himself up and once again confronts Shenron. "That's the wish we want, we'll not take no for an answer!" He looks back at Freeza in a fruitless effort to gauge any sign of approval, only to be met with the same stone-cold stare.

"WISH GRANTED!"

The entire group looks around in befuddlement waiting for their mysterious guest to arrive."Where is he, son? Is the being that defeated the Saiyan trash the size of a microbe?" Cold inquires.

"No father, I have a feeling this earth dragon is purposely toying with us. I have a hunch that our guest has indeed been resurrected, but he's at the original place he perished. I hear that Sorbet had to tend with similar annoyances when he wished me back."

The commander grows furious with the disobedient dragon,"Bring him here now!"

Freeza's eyes widen in shock after hearing his advisor's Ill wrought request,"Shut up, you fool!"

"WISH GRANTED!"

In a flash, Cell appears directly in front of them, he was staring down at his hands unaware of his surroundings. Shenron quickly makes his exit, scattering the newly collected Dragon Balls as he does.

Freeza's pupils remain huge, but this time around with a hint of venom,"Croissant?"

"Yes, my Lord?"

"Your replacement has arrived!" Freeza points a finger at the commander instantly searing a hole through his heart, he drops to the ground as the two other underlings look on in terror.

King Cold ignores the gruesome assassination, he instead remains hyper-focused on the green bug man now in front of him. "Hm, so this is the gentleman that defeated Goku? I must say, there's something oddly familiar about him."

"Not a surprise, he does share parts of our DNA along with that of less savory individuals. A human by the name of Dr.Gero created him using the cells of all the strongest warriors he could collect on Earth. It's a shame he's dead, that's one human I wouldn't mind having in my army," Freeza informs.

"Yes, yes...he does look rather strong, but do you think it was worth the wish? What about those Ginyu squad boys of yours, or your right-hand men Zarbon and Dodoria? Who knows if that creature over there is even tamable."

"They're called the Ginyu force, father, and I was just getting to that before that waste of oxygen used up my 3rd wish... But I can assure you that the bug is stronger than them all combined."

Cell starts becoming more animated, he shadowboxes the air to loosen up his tight joints. "I can't believe it...I'm back! Wait...Is this planet Earth?"

"Yes, this is Earth, now quit ignoring me you idiot!"

King Cold smiles and waves to the distracted insect,"Oh, yoo-hoo! Over here! How rude, are you sure you want to conscript a man of such ill-manner?"

Cell finally acknowledges the presence of his summoner behind him, "Earth you say? Hahaha...Yes! This is perfect, I'll finally get the chance to blow up this planet once, and for all!" He wastes no time flying off into the sky high above the two disgruntled lizards.

"That twat, I should have known that he'd attempt a stunt like this! Father, to the spacecraft! Familiarizes yourself with our new pawns."

"Are you sure you don't need any assistance wrangling the malcontent?"

"I have the situation under control, daddy!" Freeza promptly flies off in fast pursuit, the chase flashing back unpleasant memories of their first encounter In Hell. Freeza fires off a ki blast at the nimble insect managing to graze the hard outer layer of his wings.

"Hm, your aim has gotten better, I see?" Cell stops midflight startling Freeza, he grabs him by the wrist only to be met with a swift smack across the face. "Even your smack has more impact to it. I can tell you really missed me."

"I'm not letting you destroy the Earth! That's my job, I just can't do it yet, which is why I brought your ungrateful arse back in the first place!"

"Yeah right, right... you just don't want me to kill your little boytoy, Goku...was it?"

Freeza's face contorts into a fit of rage as he takes his fist and batters it into the arrogant insects face sending him careening to the planet's surface. The angry alien lands down on top of him raising his fist at him again.

Cell looks up towards the looming lizard and smirks, "Having you on top of me like this is getting me hard."

Freeza flinches, lifting himself from his opponent's body, "You're sick!"

"Come on, we have some private time now. You weren't complaining before when you and I were fucking all day in Hell."

"No! We are leaving now! I don't want to remain on this dreadful planet any longer then I have to!"

"It can be a quickie. We destroy the planet and leave, it'll only take like 10 minutes tops."

Freeza grows impatient, threatening the lecherous insect with his glowing finger, "I've heard quite enough from you!"

"Look...destroying the Earth is my birthright, ok? Destroy your own home planet!"

"My home planet is due for demolition in 3,387 years, but that's beyond the point. The reality is, you have no bargaining power over me now. Your body has reset itself, you're completely at my whim."

"You're so hot when you talk like that. So tell me, what do you plan to do to me now that you got me pinned down?" Cell replies still grinning ear to ear.Freeza's powerful prehensile tail emerges from behind his back and quickly ensnares Cell's upper body, the tightness and warmth triggering fond memories in Cell. "Hm, back to your old tricks again, I see?"

Freeza leans in and locks lips with Cell, savoring every moment he possibly could, he then swiftly pulls away from the hungry insect who had started nibbling at his lower lip."You were the one that taught me that one, I can assure you that I'm more than capable of learning new tricks."

"I'm sold! Take me I'm yours!"

"Don't think that life with me is going to be all fraternizing and fornication. You're going to have to pull your weight, you hear!"

"Blah, blah, blah, you're talking my ear off like a nagging woman, just take me to the damn spacecraft already!"

The two rejoin the group back at the spaceship, Freeza still retaining his vice grip to the chagrin of his winded captive. One of the underlings nervously approaches them and slaps a pair of gold cuffs on Cell's wrist, Freeza then loosens his hold allowing the bug to finally exhale. "I wouldn't try anything funny if I were you. Those are specialized ki canceling bracelets, they render all your abilities useless."

Cell smirks at the sight of his bound hands, "Handcuffs? I like where this is going."

"Oh, if this excites you, Bugboy, you're in for a real treat when we get back to home base."

"What are you waiting for? Get me on that damn ship already!" Cell replies unable to hold back his excitement.

King Cold looks on at the scene playing out in front of him in amusement."My, my if he isn't the most eager prisoner of war I've ever seen."

The group load onto the craft and take off into space for a 16-hour journey back to their latest occupied planet Shimazi, a small sparsely populated planet rich in rare natural resources not found anywhere else in the galaxy. They were only 45 mins into their trip and conversation was already awkwardly stilted. King Cold tries his best to break the ice with the newcomer on board, "Young man, I didn't quite get your name..." Cold squints, looking closely at Cell to see if he was reacting to anything he'd just said. "Is he amongst the living, my dear son?"

"Yes, I can only assume he's put himself into hibernation mode. He has the attention span of a small rodent, he can't even handle 45 Minutes, nonetheless a 16 hr trip." Freeza rubs his hands together in anticipation,"Ohohoho, he has no idea what I have in store for him later."

Cell remains sleep for the entire trip, his eyes firmly shut until he feels even tighter, cold cuffs fasten around his wrist and now his neck and ankles. He awakens to find himself suspended by a machine in a small white room, he looks straight ahead and witnesses Freeza and another man behind a blast-proof screen.

"This is getting really kinky, I wasn't expecting a scene this elaborate from you. What do you plan to do to me now?"

Freeza smirks," As you're well aware, your power level in comparison to mine is not even worth mentioning, which is why I will be using this apparatus to accelerate your strength. Just remember that this is for your own good." Freeza looks over to the shaky scientist next to him, a green alien in a lab coat propped up at a console with hundreds of switches and buttons.

"Blow him up."

Freeza can hear Cell's voice coming in through the intercom, "Don't keep me waiting! Get on with it already!"

"Are you sure this is safe? This is completely against protocol, we use this room for atomic testing, not on live subjects." Freeza flashes him an intimidating glance causing the startled scientist to press down on the button.

"Did you press it yet? I'm not feeling anythi..." Cell's question is cut off as he spontaneously explodes leaving behind only the parts of his limbs and head attached to the device.

Freeza looks on in sadistic glee at the mangled sight before him,"Bravo! Encore!Encore!"

"Is he dead? No living being could possibly survive that," The curious Dr ask.

Freeza reassures the Dr, as he points at the glass screen, "Watch carefully."

The small bits and pieces of Cell's body begin to reform themselves as though possessing memories of their own, in only 3 minutes time he was back together again."That really took out that annoying ache in my back. Is that really all you got?"

Freeza clutches his mouth and laughs, "Ohohoho, a tenacious one aren't you?"

The wide-eyed scientist looks on in utter disbelief, "Simply astounding!"

Freeza impatiently stomps his feet on the floor,"What are you waiting for? Do it again!"

"Yes, Lord Freeza."Once again the button is pressed, spraying the walls with blood and viscera. Freeza applauds the show of carnage, they then wait patiently for Cell's body to restructure itself.

Cell looks back at the two figures behind the glass shield as soon as the light-sensitive structures of his eyes reform,"Ouch, that one actually stung...like a mosquito bite."

"Simply amazing! What kind of life form is this?"

"Do it again!" Freeza commands in a furious tone of voice.

"Yes sir!" the disheveled scientist fumbles back to his console to carry out his task, Cell's innards once more painting the walls.

Freeza's face is stuck in a wide grin of enjoyment," AGAIN!"

"B-But the subject's body has yet to restore itself."

Freeza's momentary happiness erupts into unbridled anger, he shifts his arm in the direction of the scientist pointing a finger at his temple. "Do it now, or you'll end up just like him!"

"Yes, sir!"

"AGAIN! AGAIN!! AGAIN!!!"

After around 15 rounds the two peak into the room for signs of life, they wait for over 30 minutes, but still no sign of the bug."Why is he taking so long to come back? Did I take it too far and end up killing Cell? "Freeza laments to himself.

"My apologies, Lord Freeza. It seems there was only so much trauma his molecular structure could handle, even his limbs were dissolved by the countless atomic bombardments. After the radiation dies down, I can send a group in to collect living samples, but there is a high probability that there is no usable tissue left. If we are able to retrieve any we can always attempt to clone him."

Freeza keeps his back strategically turned away from his lackey, trying his hardest to conceal his inner turmoil. "I'll keep my options open...You are dismissed."

"Yes, Lord Freeza," The lab coat wearing alien takes a bow before leaving behind Freeza in the brightly lit room.

He stays in the empty room for over 7 hours mulling over his inner thoughts, the buzzing of the blaring lights providing an eerie yet fitting ambiance. His sadness makes way to his default emotion, anger, as he slowly starts to lose his composure. He bangs his fist against the thick glass, "I wasted my wish on you, and this is how you choose to repay me! If only you weren't so weak, then maybe you wouldn't have died on me so easily! " He tilts his chin down to his chest pressing his back up against the shielded glass.

Suddenly, a loud voice is heard over the intercom system."Peekaboo, I see you."

He looks behind him only to see the tall bug staring back at him from behind the glass. Freeza's expression becomes as emotional as an Icejin's face could possibly emote at the sight of his lover's return. He breathes onto the glass, using his finger to scribble out the shape of a heart. In response, Cell takes his fist and smashes it through the screen grabbing Freeza between his forearm, shards of glass rain down onto them. They pause for a passionate embrace despite being pelted by the sharp glass, droplets of blood dripping from their newly open sores.Freeza adverts his eyes as he tries his best to ride out the violet blush staining his cheeks, after cooling down he looks back to Cell. "I hope you know that this is going be deducted from your salary?"

Cell scratches the back of his crest in confusion, unsure of how to properly respond to Freeza's remark, "My what?"

Freeza grabs Cell's face to pull him in for a quick kiss, "You're such an idiot."


	2. Wining And Dinning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with King Cold...this is bound to go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tend to update my 2nd chapter quicker than other, I feel it's the most integral chapter to a multi-fic. Please Enjoy the early Update!

After all the test are done on Cell the two head down a long corridor, their loud footsteps linger throughout the abandoned hall, becoming in lock step the closer they approach their destination.

"Where are we going again?"

"We're heading to the training room, where I hope to get a good measure of how much your power level has increased."

"And if it hasn't increased by much?" Cell inquires with a look of anticipation.

"Well, then I'll throw you back into that god damn contraption until it does."

Cell laughs in amusement at the thought, "Hm, If that's the case, let's hope not by much."

Freeza walks up to a door, he puts his palm out towards a scanning device, the device blinks green immediately granting access to what's behind the door. They enter a much larger gridded room making their way to its center. There sits a booth at one corner of the room, inside is a noseless blue alien with large beady eyes staring back at them. Freeza looks to the tactician, he nods giving him the go-ahead to commence the training simulator. The alien flash's a thumbs up before returning his eyes to the monitor in front of him.

Cell closely studies the drab room with his laser-sharp vision,"Are you sure this is a good Idea? How am I supposed to unleash my true power in this minuscule space?"

"You may perhaps not want to rush to conclusions. Observe the layout around you, has it not changed?" The patterns on the white grids morph into a rocky canyon like appearance. The simulation is impressive although nowhere near the realism of Hell's Mortal realm simulations."It really does amaze me how much technology has advanced since my death."

The intrigued android rubs his chin "Indeed, I do find this all to be rather impressive."

"This room has specialized walls that can cancel out Ki attacks. It's pretty much the same concept as the bracelets I put on you earlier. So go all out if you like, this just a warmup, for me at least."

Cell uncrosses his arms and chuckles under his breath," Alright then...give it your best shot." He charges up his Ki, enormous waves of energy batter up against the walls. After he was satisfied with his towering aura he charges in on Freeza who still remains perfectly in place. He begins swinging at Freeza who insistently keeps his hands locked behind his back, using only his feet to block attacks. Cell lounges hard at the lizard leaving a puncture in the simulators floor, Freeza does an invasive backflip landing a few feet away.

The android pulls his hand from the floor as it sparks from the exposed wiring, the simulators illusion now hampered by a lone white grid tile."Forget ki attacks, your biggest concern should be my bare strength."

Freeza whips his tail down against the floor, breaking a tile of his own. "Keep talking like that, and I may change my mind about holding back against you."

"Oh, I'll help make up your mind for you," The arrogant bug quips. He uses his fast speed to close the gap, Freeza makes use of his small frame to maneuver his opponent away, only to fly up to eye level with him and deliver a flurry of punches to his chest. The impacts of the Icejin's blows are so powerful it sent his much larger opponent sliding back against the ground, the simulation providing a realistic illusion of speed. Cell's back hit a wall represented by a rocky outcrop in the simulator.

Freeza grows excited at the sight of a small droplet of blood emerging from his opponent's mouth."Had enough?"

Cell licks up the blood at the corner of his mouth and smiles before responding," As much as I'd like to be further desecrated by you in that machine, I think it's high time I stopped holding back against you. You did say I had to pull my weight after all."

The overconfident alien is caught off guard by a heavy punch to the gut, nearly causing him to puke. He barely manages to retain his footing, stumbling back as he struggles to recapture his balance. The pissed off alien devotes all of his ire towards Cell, his face snarling and dripping with saliva like a rabid dog."Damn you! That hurt! That hurt!! THAT HURT!!!"

"Hahahaha! Cry some more, you baby. That's what happens when a princess tries to fight alongside a true warrior."

Freeza clumsily rushes towards Cell in a fit of blind rage,"I'm going to kill you for real this time!"

Cell realizes that Freeza's reaction is stemming from a place of sincerity and tries his best to defuse the situation. Freeza starts banging against his chest leading the bug to lift the tiny lizard's body from the ground. The android extends his arms outward to avoid the tyrants swinging limbs, he panics a little when he sees Freeza's pale skin flash gold for a microsecond. The android waste no time in bringing him in for a tight hug. "Shhhhh...It's going to be ok. Learn to take a joke."

Freeza's angry emotions dampen as the embrace wares on, "Well, try telling some actual funny ones for a change." Cell smirks and puts him down with full confidence that his temper was stifled. Suddenly, he finds his right leg ensnared by a powerful force, the crushing weight knocking him to the floor."The first rule of warfare, never show mercy to the enemy!" As Cell fights to wrangle the powerful tail from his leg, Freeza fires a beam at his shoulder causing Cell to jump back and instinctually clutch at his wound. "Ohohoho, you like that, don't you!? Maybe I should go for a more... tender area this time?" Freeza takes aim at Cell's groin, the threat makes all the color drain from his sparring partners face.

You wouldn't dare!" Cell says with a shaky voice.

"Oh, dare I?" Freeza replies with sadistic glee as he prepares to fire, that is until he finds himself tumbling to the ground after Cell uses his free foot to knock him over. The insect makes sure to position himself over him, his right leg going numb from Freeza's snake-like hold. Freeza lays on his back trying his hardest to retain his competitive advantage. "I can keep this up you know."

Cell's cocky smirk remains firmly plastered on his face in spite of his leg probably being broken under the immense pressure. "What a coincidence, so can I." After that statement is uttered Freeza intuitively looks up at Cell's crotch, noticing his penis emerging from its sheath. He then looks back towards the wall where he knew the blue alien had been prior. He starts to worry when Cell starts stamping his neck with kisses, making it even more difficult to keep his own arousal in.

"I want you more now than I ever have before," The bug whispers in Freeza's ear.

Freeza starts to feel Cell's hand creeping down the base of his tail provoking the small alien to push back against his chest. "Wait..." Freeza murmurs in a soft voice, but to no avail, Cell continues to lavish his neck without a hint of hesitation. He's ultimately left with little option but to speak up,"WAIT!!!"

Cell finally snaps out of his horny haze to address his lover's concerns,"What's wrong now?"

"You fool, there is someone in that booth over there monitoring our training regimen. It may not be visible to you currently, but it was most certainly there when we arrived!"

"Is that all? Can't we just go behind a rock or something?"

"You fool! This is a simulation, only we see what it looks like from the inside.

"So? my back was turned to him any way he couldn't have seen much."

"That's not the point you, idiot! It's the principle of it! You're currently in the midst of civil society, you can't just go around grabbing people up and having your way with them."

"Yeah, sure... but It's completely ok to blow up any planet you want? Gotcha!"

"No, that is patently false! I can't just go "blow up" any planet I wish, there are treaties, trade agreements, and embargos that must be upheld. Even when I'm sanctioned to demolish a planet I must file a demolitions permit, give time for wealthier occupants to evacuate said planet and meticulously record the times, dates and population size of each planet destroyed. Honestly, all the pointless bureaucracy takes the fun out of my job."

"You know, instead of being preoccupied with boring occupational chit-chat we could be having fun right now." Freeza calms his anger, relinquishing his grip on Cell's leg causing the android to tilt a little to the side. "Ha! I think you actually broke it."

"I don't always like to be touched you know... If you're going to be with me, you're going to have to learn to respect my body."

"Respect... Your body? Is showering you with kisses not Respect? I practically worship your body."

Freeza's face glows with indignation," No! No means no is respect! When I command you to do something you do it, not the second time, or the Fourth time, or the one hundred billionth time, the first time! Do I make myself abundantly clear!?"

"It doesn't take much to rile you up, does it?" Cell looks over at the pouty lizard who makes it a point not to glance in his direction. "Fine... I'm sorry, (but not actually sorry) that I made you feel... uncomfortable."

"Good, because we have dinner arrangements with father later tonight."

"With your dad? What for?"

"To celebrate his return, a fleet of homeworld ships were sent out appending our arrival. So you'll need to be on your best behavior. Now then, we have to get you all cleaned up and in proper attire."

"Sure thing, what could possibly go wrong?"

It was an hour before the feast and Cell finds himself fighting against five Freeza force members trying to put the trademark warrior armor on his body. Cell jostles to knock the men away from him, "Get this goddamn thing off of me! It's not going to fit!"

Freeza cracks his whip-like tail against the floor as a warning, "Behave yourself, mongrel!"

One of the underlings expresses his concern, "He's right it's not going to fit, his wings are in the way."

Freeza brandishes an expression of disapproval at his pawn, "Well then make it fit!"

Cell starts to feel impatient and claustrophobic with all the people bum-rushing him. "FINE!"Cell extends his arms outwards, immediately his wings and hard green exoskeleton sheds leaving behind wrinkled, violet-colored skin. Freeza and the 5 minions look on in revulsion.

Freeza averts his eyes to the indecent Cell shooing his underlings to leave. "Just take the measurements and jury-rig up one that fits!" The 5 men burst out of the room in terror leaving Freeza and Cell alone.

"Why did you do that? You look absolutely dreadful," Freeza says as he tries to maneuver around looking at Cell's shell-less body.

"Oh please, don't act like you've never molted before."

"My race does not shed themselves into pruned raisins...Anyway, we have less than an hour and you look worse than when you came in. How long will it take for your carapace to regenerate?"

"12 minutes or so," Cell points to his arm to demonstrate." Look, parts of it are growing back as we speak."

The mortified lizard places one hand over his face and the other to invisibly push Cell away. "If I have to see your naked body one more time I swear I'm going to vomit. Please go barricade yourself in the lavatory until you are decent."

Half an hour later, the team managed to come up with a proper fit for Cell's wings, and since it was a special occasion it came adorned with a long purple cape. Freeza adjusts his own cloak as they're escorted to the fancy dining area. Cell looks over to his reflection in the metallic walls, his new shiny armor glinting under the lights. "I really should shed myself more often."

"Not if you want to copulate with me," Freeza mocks.

They're brought into a room with an enormously long table, King Cold is seated at the far end, "Hello there boys! Take a seat!"

Ice-jin waiters pull out the seat at the far end for Freeza another does the same for Cell at the center. Freeza immediately takes notice of the empty seat across from Cell. "Kuriza," He says to himself.

King Cold responds,"Ah, yes the grandson. Unfortunately, he will not be joining our feast tonight. His ship is set to arrive much later than expected I'm afraid. Anywho, let's get on with the feast! I'm sure you boys are famished."

Cell looks over to Freeza in contempt at the bizarre seating arrangements, "Why are the seats so far apart!"

The King chuckles in amusement, "Ohohohoho, Please, take a seat where ever you like. All conventions are out of the window, this is a celebration after all."

"I Don't know if you're being sarcastic or not...fuck it, I don't care." Cell picks up his chair and places it next to Freeza.

"So, Cell... was it? I'm afraid we weren't properly introduced. My name is King Cold, and that's my youngest son, Freeza, who you oddly enough seem well acquainted with already. How exactly did you two find out about each other?"

"Well, it all started when..."Freeza places his hand over the babbling android's mouth before he could say anything incriminating.

"I had heard through my intel on Earth that this man was indeed the one that defeated that thorn in my side Goku. It was only logical that I'd seek to recruit him." Cell bites down on Freeza's finger causing the tyrant to flinch. "Ouch, you bastard... Damn it, now it's itching all of a sudden."

"Ohohohoho! Looks like you have a feisty one on your hands. Is he another one of your playthings like that Zarbond fellow?"

Freeza bangs his fist against the table,"It's Zarbon, daddy.. and our dealings were strictly business related!"

"Calm down, son. Learn to take a joke."

Cell raises his hands up in agreement before slamming them back down on the table,"Thank you! I keep telling him that!"

Cold takes a sip of his wine before turning his attention back to the far side of the table, "My, aren't you aggressive."

Cell leans up against the table and smirks, "Oh, you don't know the half of it." His suggestive commentary is met with a swift elbow to his side from a displeased Freeza.

As they're in the middle of conversing, eight slender Icejin walk in from two side doors baring an assortment of traditional Arcosian dishes. All adopting their petite true forms although lacking the defined musculature of Freeza. Cell can't keep his eyes off them, Freeza notices and breaks his trance by stepping down hard on his foot. "I'm right here you know."

"It's difficult for me not to look, this is my first time seeing women of your race." Freeza folds his arms and hisses at him. "Hey don't blame me, you told me you were ok with not being addressed as a woman."

 

An Icejin female approaches Cell, two join Freeza, while the other five entertain Cold. Freeza completely rebuffs the two women so they make their way over to Cell's side. Freeza becomes furious at the sight of the slender Icejin women as they giggle incessantly at his lovers corny jokes. He downs his wine before his tolerance level taps out completely, he makes it a point to verbalize his feelings to the entire room. Freeza slams down hard on the table before pointing towards the exit and screams at the top of lungs,"OUT! OUT! OUT!"

"Oh, come on, son. They didn't even get to serve up Arcosian Nyotaimori yet."

"NO! I want all of these females gone from my base immediately! Post haste! Get them out!" The disappointed females are escorted out of the dining hall by a larger Icejin male. Freeza takes a much-needed sigh of relief, he looks back over to Cell only to witness the same glossed over stare on his face."I got rid of those stupid females. What in god's name are you gawking at now!?"

"Not even going to lie, your dad's kinda hot," Freeza falls back in his chair in utter defeat, he reaches for his refilled glass of wine and gulps it down.

A disappointed Cold instead turns his attention to the dish in front of him,"Oh well, there goes my fun for the night. I hope you boys will at least have a good time."

The group starts to dig into the dishes on the table, Freeza picks from his favorite crustacean dish, while Cell indiscriminately gobbles down whatever is in front of him to the chagrin of his aggravated partner.

"The poor etiquette of a commoner always provides for captivating comedy." Cold glances down at his plate and back at Cell in rapid succession before dropping his cutlery to the table in spontaneous laughter. "Ohohohohoh, I know why your compatriot looked so familiar to me now. He looks just like Goliek."

Cell flashes a dirty look towards Cold, "What the hell is Goliek?"

Cold laughs into his palm before pointing over at Cell's plate, "You have a little on your platter there. Do you see it? It's the one with the black spots." Cell looks down at the spotted green dish garnished with a strange black ooze.

"Bugboy, you should really pay more attention to what you put into your gullet. Goliek is a rare arborous insect native to our homeworld. I personally can't stand the stuff, but father swears by it.

Cell takes a bit from his plate, his eyes light up immediately from the taste. "This is delicious!"

King Cold lets out another chuckle, "Son, you're going to have to tell me later if your friend over there tastes as good as this Goliek.

"I can already tell that you and I are going to get along very well."

"I concur, Goliek," The two men start to laugh uncontrollably as Freeza lays his head down on the table, completely worn out by the day's festivities.

After the feast comes to a close, Freeza and Cell make their way back to the tyrants sleeping quarters, Cell still overly cheery from the conversation he had with King Cold. Freeza, on the other hand, was miserable, he was ready to put the emotionally taxing night to a close."I'm glad someone got some semblance of enjoyment out of that waste of time," he blurts out sarcastically.

"I'm sure you're a hit at parties, babe."

"I don't go to parties, I blow them up because I'd blow up any stupid planet that thinks that throwing parties is a good idea." He leans up against Cell to catch his balance, his legs wobbling as they march down the hall.

"Went a bit too heavy on the alcohol?"

"Why yes, how did you notice..." Suddenly, an androgynous voice calls out from behind them.

"Lord Freeza, your son has arrived!"

Freeza instantly perks up, his alcohol intolerance immediately draining from his system "KURIZA!" The little Icejin immediately runs up to him, Freeza stops him before he could get too close, purposely avoiding any outward displays of affection.

"How are you father?"

"I've been better than ever, son. I've heard you assisted your uncle in destroying your first planet."

Kuriza becomes extra animated, jumping around and making explosion sounds with his mouth. "The planet went BOOM! Just like that! It was so cool dad!"

"Sounds like fun, wish I could have been there to see it." Freeza leers at Cell as a warning not to harm his son, only to witness a bizarre expression on his face. His demeanor was that of anger, the wrinkles on his nose becoming more pronounced. They both awkwardly stare at Cell until they hear a slippery object hit the floor, Freeza investigates only to be met with horror, "Did you just vacate yourself on the floor!?"

"No, you idiot, look closer." It was a tiny Brown leathery egg sack, out of it hatched a familiar bluish beetle-like creature.

"Oh great, it's one of your annoying little clones. Is this one a late night snack?"

"I just thought your son would like to have a playmate around, he's probably bored out of his mind with no other kids his age around." The nervous Cell Jr hides behind his father's leg. It looks up at Cell as though waiting for the go-ahead to join Kuriza. Cell gives a quick nod to the little creature.

Kuriza walks up to the shy bug extending a hand out to him, "Hi, my name is Kuriza. What's your name?"

The Bug points to himself in confusion, he looks back towards his father for confirmation. Cell decides to help his son out by responding to Kuriza's question,"His name is number 8."

"Number 8? What kind of name is that?" Freeza mocks.

"He's my 8th child, discounting the 1,597 I had with you in Hell, and besides, it's a common android naming scheme. Am I not allowed to have traditions of my own now?"

Freeza rolls his eyes at the Android and returning his focus back to his young son,"You and your little buddy head off to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night, father!" Kuriza grabs the blue bug by the hand and they both run back to their female caretaker.

Freeza looks on with a twinge of jealousy as the Icejin woman walks hand in hand with the happy children. Cell notices the inner turmoil on Freeza's face and attempts to cheer up his lover. "Don't worry, I'll make you feel like a lady tonight," He goes in to hoist Freeza into his arms only to be met with a slap on the wrist.

"Withhold your display of affection until we get to the bedroom."

"Yes, mam."


	3. Don't Let The bedbugs Bite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freeza and Cell suck at roleplay (double entendre intended)

After parting with their sons, they make their trek to the door of Freeza's suite. The paranoid Tyrant scopes out the area for fictitious paparazzi, who in his mind, were out to catch him as he snuck the oversized insect into his room. He urgently slams the door behind him wiping his brow after a job well done.

"You can't tell anyone that you were here tonight, got that? Let's just keep this little rendezvous between us... and the guy monitoring the security cameras...Blast it all!"

Cell reaches down to rest his palm on Freeza's shoulder. "Take it easy. If anyone makes a big deal of it, just explain that it was late night business. You wouldn't exactly be lying."

Freeza lets out a loud sigh before commencing with his words."In actuality it's no use, they're bound to find out eventually. I'm just a bit concerned about how this damning revelation will affect the morale of my troops."

"You can crush them with your pinky finger, who cares about what they think. Also, I'm running a bit of an error here trying to understand why you care so much to be seen with me. I'm the most perfectly handsome being in the universe after all, and you did tell me that your race is biologically the same as far as sex goes. So, what's the rub here?"

"It's about positive affirmation, something an ingrate like you couldn't possibly comprehend. As for our..." arrangement". From the outside it's not anything too out of the ordinary, the problem is you are my subordinate. When taking into consideration your rather robust stature, it's logical to surmise that I'm the one allowing you access to my female reproductive organs and not the other way around."

"Is that so? Well then, let me play a little game with you. Knock, knock."

Freeza rolls his eyes in dread at the prospect of having to entertain the androids childish antics. "Fine, I'll humor you. Who is there knocking at my door?"

"Let me in."

"Let me in, who?"

"LET ME IN YOU!" Cell lifts Freeza over his shoulder and makes a beeline for the large king size bed at the centre area of the suite.

"Let go of me, you termite!" He pounds at Cell's back and kicks with his feet before being tossed onto the plush bed, the large bugs shadow now completely engulfing his own."NO! Understand!?"

"No? You're gonna have to come up with a more creative safeword then that."

Freeza lifts himself from his back, the armor he's wearing cuts deep into his shoulder blades,"At least assist me in removing my attire."

"Hm, you're such a pampered little princess, you can't do anything for yourself, can you?" Cell helps to pull the flexible armor over Freeza's head masking the lizard's fuchsia-colored cheeks, he then aids in removing the black speedo spandex underneath. "These looked really cute on you. If you were wondering why I kept grabbing your leg under the dinner table, this is why."

"Or maybe it's because you're a frivolous fornicator who can't keep his paws to himself?"

"Maybe a little of both." Cell takes his time pulling down the coveted article of clothing, once he obtains his prize he takes a whiff, the presence of Freeza's pheromones exciting him even further."You were wet for me the entire time. Every last stitch of your panties is soaked in your essence."

Freeza manufactures a false look of contempt, "My god, you're a filthy beast." Freeza promptly crawls off the bed, he walks across the room to a dresser drawer.

Cell watches in amusement as his partner rummages through the open drawer."Is that where you keep all your toys?"

The Icejin ignores Cell's mocking questioning, he instead pulls out a frilly pink object that immediately gets the bugs attention. Freeza slips on a spaghetti strap top with a sheer babydoll design and puts on matching panties, he saunters over to the bed seductively before taking a seat on Cell's lap," What's on your mind now, bugboy?"

 

 "That lingerie... Is too innocent looking for you."

Freeza sneers, the veins on his forehead pulsate as he mulls over the ungracious response,"Wrong answer!" The aggravated alien places his finger up to Cell's face in a threatening manner."You have yet to defile me in the mortal realm! I'm practically a virgin to you!"

"Oh, so I guess we can just disregard the millions of other military men that had their way with you?"

Freeza leans up and knocks Cell in the jaw, "Treat me like you would those demure females from earlier." Cell grins before lifting the armor over his head and then removing his spandex undergarments. After getting undressed he grabs the back of Freeza's neck and slams him down against the bed forcefully. He dry humps Freeza's backside eliciting small moans of anticipation from the Icejin."You would treat a lady like this!?"

"Of course, you never complained about it before... Or did you? Knowing how much you complain, most likely so, but I don't really care about that right now." Cell's erect penis slides out and he starts grinding it against Freeza's opening, purposely avoiding insertion. He continues to rub all around Freeza's sensitive cloacal opening, pushing his cock underneath the thin layering of Freeza's see-through panties. The rapacious bug places his tip against Freeza's exposed entrance but refuses to go any further.

"Curse you, just do..."

Cell taunts at him, placing his hand up to his ear as though he's hard of hearing."What was that? Speak up! I can't hear you down there." The cocky insect continues his teasing to the dismay of the pent-up Icejin. Meanwhile, Freeza fights vigorously to withhold his arousal from view, his sheath bulge becoming painfully difficult to contain. Not wanting to call attention to himself he keeps silence in the midst of his aching need to be fucked.

"Hm, you're a shy one, aren't you?" Cell lowers himself down against the side of the bed, he grabs Freeza by the ass to pull him in closer, he then brings his mouth to it, using his tongue to navigate his lovers weeping hole.

Freeza throws his arms between his legs and moans from the sensation of Cell's wet tongue gliding against his sheath slit."Ahhhhhhhhh! That feels nice."Cell swirls his tongue around for a bit before pulling out and replacing it with his fingers to explore deeper. He feels around before deciding to pick a route, he sticks one in a tight hole on the left side of the Icejins cloaca. Freeza's pupils instantly enlarge at the unwanted intrusion, "Not in there!" Cell ignores the command and continues his exploration. "I said, NO!"

Cell smirks at the pissed off lizard well aware he is purposely aggravating his lover. He removes his finger and uses another to explore the right side, it was a lot wetter, dripping with fluids to the brim. Elated with the discovery he begins applying his tongue to Freeza's quivering pussy hole."Please move on, will you? I don't know how much of this I can take!"

Cell voraciously licks his lips, "It would be rude not devour this delicious meal you prepared for me." Cell tongues at Freeza's hole again making him even more flustered and furious, until the android feels something graze up against his nose. The tall bug pulls back to investigate, he chuckles as he witnesses the little purple appendage sneak its way out from its hiding spot. "That's not very ladylike of you," Cell mocks.

"Shut up, dammit! Those perfect little angels you were fawning over before are no different!"

"You have the mouth of a sailor. Are you sure you're actually a lady?"

"You're ruining the atmosphere! Just pretend that I'm a delicate virginal maiden whose about to be deflowered by you!"

"Well, that's kind of a difficult task when all I see is an uncouth whore pretending to be something she's obviously not," Freeza grumbles expletives under his breath before unceremoniously relenting his audacious attitude, he decides to let Cell take over knowing that his silence will speak for him better. "That's a good girl! I think you earned a little reward."

Freeza grits his teeth against the bed, he wants nothing more than to tell his partner to stick it in already. His wish starts to become more feasible as Cell flips him over on his back. The android uses his fingers to move the thin panties to the side, It was there that he feels the head inches its way into his cloacal opening. His temporary excitement turns into insult as he detects Cell's dick entering into the off-limits area. "Not that one you..."

"Ha, I love fucking with you, in more ways than one."Cell re-adjust to situate himself into Freeza's vaginal opening."I know that this is your first time so I'll take it nice and slow for you, sweety."

Cell starts by lightly thrusting in and out of the aliens prepped hole, he keeps up a painfully slow pace that starts to irritate the sexually experienced side of Freeza. "Faster, you cockroach! Fuck me harder!"He thinks to himself but unable to break out of character. Suddenly he winces with pain as he registers Cell's girth expand even more inside of him triggering traumatic flashbacks to his first impregnation. Freeza waves his hands out in front of him in a feeble attempt to get the bug to cease his activity."Wait, I don't want to be that kind of lady tonight, I barely know you!"

Cell's usual smirk suddenly becomes something more ominous. "I had to extend myself further to fit into your loose whore pussy. I would never impregnate a lying skank like you."

Freeza bares his teeth at the ungrateful insect before shifting back to his innocent demeanor. "Sir, I have never lain with a man before, I couldn't possibly take all of you."

"You're taking it all now, you lying bitch!"

"You must be mistaken sir, I am clearly an unspoiled virgin...Ahhhhhhhhh!" Freeza is cut off by the immense pressure as Cell further extends himself deeper into his vagina, the discomfort is so immense he thinks the entirety of his being will be torn to shreds by the pounding appendage puncturing his uterus.

"How far do you go, huh? You're clearly a despoiled succubus pretending to be a fair maiden to lure me to my death."

As soon as Cell attempts to dive further into his depths, Freeza tightens hard around his penis causing his breathing to hitch. Freeza takes the moment to put on his usual sadistic smile, "Ohohohoho, could a despoiled succubus do this? Well, could she!?"

Cell tries to keep his cool under the intense pressure on his groin, constantly fighting against the urge to fall unconscious. His face turns bright blue as the circulation in his lower extremity wavers, "No, but she sure could break my dick off if she wanted to." After getting a good laugh at his partner's expense Freeza loosens his hold allowing him to get back to his pace. Cell pauses for a second to gather himself before bursting into maniacal laughter. "Ha-ha-ha!...Damn it, you always know how to take me over the edge. Now all I want to do is fuck your brains out!" He grabs Freeza by the legs and starts hammering as fast as he can into his soft wet pussy, Freeza moans uncontrollably while he tries to ride out his intense orgasm.

The tiny Icejin climaxes as his partner continues to wreak havoc on his tender nether reigns. He's locked in a seemingly perpetual daze, the throbbing pain evaporates into dull aches, with each additional thrust his body becomes more accustomed to his lover's enormous size. He lays back and rests his eyes only to emerge as the realization of his partner's unique anatomy sets in. "Pull out, you idiot! Pull out!" Freeza tries in vain to constrict his partner but to no avail, his cloacal muscles are too worn out from all the strain. Cell continues his vicious assault on Freeza's body as the fuck session wears on. Freeza finally conjures up the word he's looking for, "NO!" Cell instantly snaps out of his amorousness, he abruptly pulls out only to cum all over Freeza's belly and down his legs. The alien looks on absolutely mortified as buckets of seminal fluid drench his lower body, his pink panties now clinging to his sopping wet skin. Freeza places a hand up to his mouth in an attempt to not hurl as the clear greenish white fluid pools against his body.

Cell scratches the back of his head and shrugs, for once feeling a bit rattled at the situation."Better out than in right?"

Freeza takes a quick breather to calm himself down, feeling better that at least he wasn't impregnated this time around. "You never cease to find new ways to repulse me, Bugboy. Now, take me to the shower, and wash this filth from my body at once!"

His eyes shift down to his legs as he feels a warm wet object rubbing up against his thigh, it is Cell on his knees eagerly lapping up what he could from Freeza's delicate ivory skin. He breaks from his task only to give his reply,"Are you trying to say that my tongue isn't good enough?" Freeza grabs a flyswatter from the nearby nightstand and swats Cell on the head with it."Ow... you're pretty heavy-handed you know!"

He taps the swatter against his palm in earnest before brandishing it at Cell's eye line," There will be a lot more where that came from if you don't get me into that shower at once!" The tall green bug grabs Freeza into his arms and attempts to go in for a kiss only to be met by a tiny hand to his lips. "Don't you dare put that filthy orifice near me after where it's just been!"

Cell sighs before complying with Freeza's demands, "I miss the innocent virgin already."

After showering up, Cell makes sure to clean up the bed, applying the new sheets and comforter. He lays the sleeping prince onto the bed and places a light kiss on his lips. "Hm, look who's got the last laugh."He checks his handy work before crawling into bed beside the tired tyrant. Cell tugs at Freeza's shoulder to get his attention, "Babe, you still up?" He is met with silence. Cell shifts around on the bed trying to find a comfortable spot next to his partner, he decides to cradle Freeza's small body within his own, resting his head against the Icejin's porcelain neck. The bug is still very much turned on but tries his best not to disrespect his lover's wishes."I really don't feel like jerking off right now. I swear, this is going to be absolute hell for me if I can't impregnate him," he thinks to himself. Cell looks towards Freeza and gets an idea, he starts leaving bites across the white alien's neck following them up with light sucks, the tenderness eliciting neotenous emotions within him. The android becomes wide-eyed when he witnesses Freeza reach over to reflexively scratch his neck but decides to disregard it. He eventually manages to lull himself to sleep after a few more gentle pecks on his loves nape.


	4. Bugbites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't wanna get hickeys from Cell.

It nears noon before even an inkling of life is detectable in the large room. Freeza yawns and stretches his weary arms, wanting nothing more than to put the embarrassment of yesterday behind him. He glances over towards the sleeping bug beside him and grins, in full knowledge of the rude awakening that he has planned out for him. It's the start of a perfectly average morning, that is until his neck starts to feel like it's on fire. In desperation, he begins to vigorously scratch at his nape only to receive temporary relief from his infliction. He reaches over and shakes Cell, "Wake up! Wake up, you Idiot!" An unintelligible grumble escapes the android's lips before he turns himself over to face away from the seething sadist."Don't play coy! I'm fully aware that you can hear me!" Freeza grabs the swatter from the nightstand, he slaps Cell in the back of the head with it over, and over again until he finally gets a reaction.

Cell turns to face down his angry assailant as he fumes with unbridled rage."WHAT?!!!" He yells at the top of his lungs.

"Don't take that tone of voice with me, you dirty cockroach! Now, prepare to explain to me why my neck has sprouted these itchy pustules! Did you infect me with some vile venereal disease!?"

Cell takes his time to scan the aliens inflamed neck, bruised with violet irritated welts."Those little things? You can just call them love bites, my gift to you."

Freeza's vicious scratching grows even more forceful as he starts to puncture his skin, leaving behind tiny droplets of blue resting beneath his onyx fingernails. "Love bite?! This looks like what happens when you come into close contact with hazardous waste material, not after a lovers tryst! I don't understand...you've nicked me countless times in Hell. Why am I having this reaction now of all times!?"

Cell rubs his chin as he thinks through possible explanations to their present conundrum,"So... perhaps I should explain myself. As you are well aware, I contain large amounts of insect DNA within my genome. With that fact into consideration, despite being far more handsome and durable than your average insect, I still possess many of their more... detestable traits."

The inpatient Icejin interrupts Cell's string of thought, as he desperately tries to get an answer out of the meandering insect. "Yes, yes, get to the point already!"

Cell side eyes Freeza before picking back up with his train of thought, "Before I was rudely interrupted...I share characteristics with many species of Earth insects, that's including (but not limited to) anticoagulants in my saliva. So what you're essentially bitching about right now is little more than a measly mosquito bite."

"So what you're telling me, is that you purposely injected a disfiguring irritant into my bloodstream?"

"That's not exactly how I'd phrase it, personally...Oww!" Freeza removes the end of the swatter from atop of Cell's dome following his impromptu sneak attack. "Look... as much as I relish in your misfortune, I can't say that this was exactly... intentional. I was previously in the mindset that you had a built-in immunity to my bites. I can only logically conclude that the mortal realm simulator doesn't factor in allergic reactions. I'll have to put that one into the suggestion box later."

"Well, you're going to have to come up with a solution, we have an important business meeting in two hours."

Cell rest his head back down on the pillow and lets out a loud yawn," That sounds like a huge waste of time to me."

"I'm afraid you have no choice in the matter. You're a commander now, so start by acting like one!" Freeza digs into his nightstand drawer, he eventually finds what he's looking for, a small tube of anti-itch cream. He throws it over to Cell who catches it in his hand without looking. Cell stares at it for a bit before turning his focus back to the fuming lizard."What are you waiting for? Slather the contents of that container onto my epidermis."

Cell shrugs his shoulders before scooting over to the edge of the bed next to Freeza."Might want to get comfy," He says as he pats at his lap. The itchy Icejin complies, crawling onto Cell's legs.

Cell opens up the tube of ointment, he applies a small glob to his finger before rubbing it onto Freeza's aching neck. The small alien sinks further into his lap as Cell's warm digits glide across his delicate nape and over every grove of his lumpy skin. "You might want to apply a bit more than that. My species does not secrete sebum like that of filthy mammalian scum, therefore we're prone to very dry skin due to the lack of natural lubrication. It's been said that early on in our evolutionary history we were once a semi-aquatic species, which could account for our moisture deficiency. Adaptation can be messy at times."

"Hmm... I wouldn't know considering that I'm already the perfect being, but that does explain why you swim so well. You know... It does astonish me sometimes how similar you are to the amphibious and reptilian lower lifeforms of my home planet."

"That's rather rich coming from a creature who sleeps in his own filth, eats babies, and leaves disgusting purple rashes on peoples neck while they're sleeping."

"I also use to suck nutrients from living organism through my tail. Ah, those were the good old days, now I'm stuck with this annoying baby maker. That's the price of perfection I suppose."

Freeza listens in to his lover's inane prattle as he feels his fingers expertly massage his swollen neck muscles."So, what compelled you to do this to me, bugboy?"

Cell scratches at his face nervously before replying, "I was having difficulty sleeping, so I just did it out of boredom. But the strangest thing occurred while I was suckling on your nape. I started to feel all kinds of strange...feelings emerge from the depths of my Hollow soul. Initially, I was disgusted by it, and was on the verge of making it cease, that's until I realized how effective it was as a sleeping aid."

"Sounds like neotenic backwash from some mammalian genes you possess. It would be akin to clutching a females bosom stone in my race."

"Oh, kinda like how you use to carry our daughter around when she was a baby?"

Freeza lowers his head down against Cell's leg, the mention of his deceased daughter striking a painful cord within him."I never had a daughter, especially not with a degenerate like you..." They both remain uncharacteristically silent, their usual banter muted in favor of deep mental reflection.

Cell finally breaks the awkward pause in dialogue,"You're right, it must have been from a dream I had last night." He rubs the top of Freeza's head to soothe his lover's hidden heartache.

The space lizard smiles from the display of warmth and understanding from Cell, he was well aware it was probably faked, but at least he was trying. "You're just acting pleasant to fornicate with me, aren't you? Sorry, but I'm afraid there is no good side of me to get on."

Cell smirks, his eyes half-lidded as he turns his gaze towards Freeza,"As much as I enjoy sex, I enjoy acting just as well."

"Not very good acting if I know your script before you read it," Freeza mocks.

Cell replies with a hint of apprehension. "I believe that is what's called a connection, It's a vile form of pair bonding that I only choose to express at the moment for your sake."

Freeza takes note of Cell's lack of activity on his neck and decides to tease him about it."Bugboy, you ceased rubbing my neck. Too in our feelings now are we?"

"Can't a man stretch his hands? Geez, can you find something better to do than to nag me? Anyway, I've been meaning to ask...And I swear this is out of genuine curiosity, so don't fight me on this one too. So tell me, how did you get bailed out this time around? Was it by another zealot? Or was it something more interesting this time around?"

"Oh, it was quite the tale, you wouldn't even believe the nonsense I had to go through to get here."

"I'm intrigued," Cell says as he goes back to massaging Freeza's neck.

"If you can believe it, I was recruited by Goku and his group of earthlings to join a multiversal tournament, he promised to bring me back with the Dragon balls if I helped them win. The stakes were so immense that even the God Of Destruction Lord Beerus was present. We were literally fighting to save every piece of matter in our universe from complete annihilation." Freeza raises his head up to face Cell,"You're welcome."

Cell chuckles,"You know, It's a good thing they didn't ask me to join, I would have purposely got us eliminated. My end goal is to eventually destroy the damn thing anyway."

 "As much as I despise the fact that I have to share this universe with organisms of low intelligence, such as yourself, I still much rather be the one orchestrating its demise. Destruction for destruction's sake is not fun, I want complete control over every facet of the process. I want to rule this universe with an iron fist, and then crumple it up to be tossed into the rubbish bin like the useless trash it is!"

"You're starting to get too worked up, hun. You're drooling all over my leg."

Freeza wipes his mouth before continuing, "My apologies...Anyway, he and I fought against one of the strongest mortals possibly in existence. That powerful foe pummeled me mercilessly, I didn't even think my dark soul could survive such a brutal beating. But eventually, with our combined efforts, we were able to defeat the brute and thus save all of existence. Of course, they used the wish to bring back all those useless universes. I was initially going to go back to Hell and wait for Goku to wish me back on earth, that is until Lord Beerus of all people spared my life."

"Hmm... must have been something fighting alongside your boyfriend Goku. Did you two kiss afterward?" He teases.

"When I do eventually become the supreme ruler of the universe, you will be the first on my list to erase." A loud knock comes from the front door, startling both Freeza and Cell. "Go over there," Freeza whispers as he points off to the obscured bath area of the suite. Cell complies and makes a hasty retreat across the room as Freeza walks over to open the door.  
"What is it!" He asks while fighting back the urge to claw at his irritated neck.

Cell peers around the corner and sees an object that appears to be a metal dining tray handed off to Freeza. After the brief exchange, Freeza shuts the door and walks back over to the corner of the bed to take a seat. "You can come out now, Bugboy."

"What do you got there?"Cell inquires as he takes a seat next to Freeza.

"Oh, this happens to be my breakfast, call it brunch if you will. Turns out, I was so fatigued from last night's festivities I missed my breakfast delivery." Freeza opens it up to reveal lobster garnished with unfamiliar alien food.

Cell closely observes Freeza's plate as the Icejin prepares to eat his meal," Hmm... you sure have a thing for crustacean."

"I've always been rather picky when it comes to my food. Since we don't have much time left, Unfortunately, I'll have to consume it briskly." Freeza reaches over for his fork only to have it accosted by Cell's powerful grip."What do you think you're doing!? If you think that I'll share, you're sadly mistaken."

Cell chuckles at the possessive lizard clutching at his plate,"No silly, I want to help you eat."

"Help me eat my food? Do I look like an infant to you? I'm quite capable on my own, thank you very much!"

"Come on! Let me spoil you...just this once?" He pleads as he sticks the fork into a piece of food.

"Grrr... fine! But make it quick will you, we have little less than an hour before the meeting."

Cell smiles as he brings the fork closer to Freeza's face, "Say Ahh!"

Freeza gives Cell a skeptical glance, "It better be food this time and not your genitalia."

"Save dessert for later, you greedy girl,"Cell says mockingly. Freeza complies allowing Cell to put the food into his awaiting mouth,"How's it taste?"

Freeza chews his food, savoring every ounce of flavor before giving his review,"Better than you or that disgusting Goliek from last night." Cell smirks and wraps his arms around Freeza's diminutive frame, laying a soft kiss on his forehead.

After Freeza finishes with his breakfast, they get themselves dressed and ready for their meeting,"Why do I have to wear this thing? It's so, restrictive."Cell says while fumbling with his ill-fitting armor.

Freeza emerges from the bathroom area dressed in his armor with a black turtleneck underneath to hide his unmistakable hickeys. "You're one to talk!" Freeza replies angrily tugging at his turtleneck.

"My passion for you is just too strong to withhold. Is displaying my intense yearning for you a crime?"

Freeza rolls his eyes at his lover's shameless playacting. He cracks open the front door with Cell strategically out of view, "I'll exit first."


	5. Quality Time

Freeza exits the room, he leaves the door slightly ajar to avoid unwanted attention, once he finds that the coast is clear, he signals for Cell to come out. The android steps out after receiving his clearance and shuts the door gently behind him."Ok, Let's go," Freeza whispers in his quietest speaking voice.The two walk side by side down the mostly vacant hall until something about their formation irks Freeza. "Ahem..you should be walking behind me, not beside me. You'll give off the wrong impression that we are of equal status."

Cell lets out a disapproving sigh,"I'll never understand these banal rituals you mono-racials put yourselves through for the sake of prestige. Anyway, Its quite obvious whose on top around here. I'm only choosing to entertain your little toy soldier game for now."

"I'm not adverse to killing my pawns, try asking the commander before you. Now then, do as I say or I'll splatter the walls with your bug guts!"

"I'm tempted to disobey you now," Cell replies sarcastically. Ultimately, he complies with Freeza's demands and takes his subordinate position behind him. They enter into a heavily populated wing of the base, brimming with frantic activity. A swift order is established in midst of the chaos soon as Freeza steps into frame. They all cease activity, freeze-framing like wax figures as the two make their way past the wall of men.

"Geez, what's up with them?" Cell asks while observing the rigidly uniformed soldiers.

Freeza grins at the show of blatant admiration on full display, "Me, apparently." Calm silence is suddenly broken when they hear a lone voice call out.

"Lord Freeza! Nice turtleneck!"

The tyrant leers over towards the source of the disturbance with scorn, "Who just said that!?"

The terrified group of men points to one lone individual. The man looks down nervously as the tiny tyrant drills holes into him with his piercing eyes. He breaks his silence after the pressure of his comrades causes him to crack."It was me...Lord Freeza!", the man exclaims.

Freeza's glare remains ice cold as his energy festers on the courteous heckler. "Why, thank you!" He says with an eerie smile plastered on his face. Just as he prepares to put the minor nuisance behind him, the entire hall erupts into torrents of compliments on his fashion choice.

"It looks great on you, Lord Freeza!"

"You look amazing today!"

"I simply adore what you did with your outfit today, my Lord."

Freeza's cheeks emit a deep fuschia from all the unwanted attention. He promptly turns around and points his finger at the initial perpetrator, instantly piercing through his chest with a well-aimed death beam. The loud thud of the agitator's corpse hitting the floor eclipses all sensory activity in the cramped passageway.

"Clean that up!" Freeza shouts as he continues to his meeting.

Chants of "yes, sir!" permeate throughout the cramped hall until they finally reach their meeting spot. Freeza places his palm near a fingerprint scanner to open the door of the tactical room, as they enter they witness two familiar faces seated at the roundtable.

Cold is already seated as well as a dozen other high ranking officers. "Guess who got sanction to demolish a planet! We're back in business, son!"Cold declares with a wide smile.

Freeza looks to his father and sneers when he sees his son Kuriza on his lap. "Daddy, what is a child doing in the tactical room?"

"Why not? You were in military meetings at his age. My gosh, you blew up your first planet when you were 5."

"I think it best not to compare others to me,"Freeza rebukes gritting his teeth in frustration.

King Cold unceremoniously relents to his son's cantankerous outburst, he picks his grandson from his lap and places him down on the floor."Run along now, grandson! I'm afraid your father is being a killjoy today."

Kuriza runs over to the door where his caretaker and #8 are waiting. "See you later, father," He waves to his dad before exiting the tactical room.

"Now that the women and children are out of the way, it's time we got down to..." Freeza's sentence is cut off by giggles from Cold."Find something funny, father?" Freeza says as he vehemently fights the urge to blast his father in the face.

"Oh, it was nothing...Do carry on, my son."

Freeza decides to get to the bottom of his father's impromptu hysterics, "I'm sure if it was humorous enough to make you laugh that it's worth sharing with the rest of the room."

Cold refrain from his cackling to address his son's annoyance."Your prior statement came off as rather comical, considering the form you've chosen to remain in. I mean...you were always a rather feminine child, but I didn't expect you to take on the form of a woman fulltime. Why not just lay on your back and expose your tender underbelly to the entire galaxy."

"Dad, this is not the time!"

Cold ignores Freeza's tantrum and instead shifts his seat to the officers beside him."I use to worry that he was going to be a female when he was very young. Good thing that wasn't the case or I would have had to dispose of him. Isn't that right, son?"

Cell looks over to Freeza knowing that at any minute he could blow a gasket."What's he talking about?" Cell whispers to Freeza.

Cold turns his focus over to Cell, "Ohohohoho! Cell, It's ok to laugh...And the rest of you, go ahead and get your jollies out while the time permits!" He waves his hands to energize the tepid gathering of men "Come now, get all of your giggles in before we start the business presiding."

They look a Cold's warm smile and back to Freeza's angry scowl unable to choose which one to trust. One of the men clears his voice"Ahem."

Freeza's blood red eyes dart over to the noise,"Daddy, you are giving our pawns ideas. I don't like that at all!" Freeza abruptly incinerates the man and then aims for Cold's head."I have no qualms about killing you, father. Just consider yourself lucky you have some use for me."

"Ah, remember the last time you tried that against me, son? As I can recall It didn't end well for you, that is, unless you enjoy having a sore bottom...Ohohohoho!"

Cell places his hand over his mouth to mask his laughter to the chagrin of his embarrassed partner."Oh come on, that was actually funny."

"SILENCE! We haven't the time for childish shenanigans. We have an empire to run!"

"Yes, and I have a date with a heavily populated planet."

"Oh, I'm going to need your assistance with a lot more than that, father. You see, in three days time, I'll be going to the God realm to train with Whis-Sama. I will be away from my post for quite some time, so I'll need you to take over in my stead."

Cold closes his eyes and lets out a loud sigh,"I was looking forward to retirement...but I suppose since you did wish me back, the least I can do is return the favor."

Cell looks to Freeza in utter confusion,"Training, in the God realm?"

"I'll clue you in on the detail later," he murmurs."

"Mind if I bring the grandson around to show him the ropes? When all is said and done he will be the sole heir of your empire."

"That's a splendid idea father. We really do need to make up for lost time with the boy. Any who...what other developments do you have for us, Captain?"

"Lord Freeza, along with the demolition of a planet we also have three in dire need of an extensive depopulation effort. The job doesn't have to be done fast, we have at least 5 years to work on it." The Captain looks across the table to Cell, "Commander, do you have any suggestions on how we should proceed?"

Cell is fast asleep from all the boring military talk, Freeza elbows him in the side instantly startling him."Tell the man how you would depopulate a planet,"Freeza whispers.

"Well... I was thinking that Freeza and I could..."Freeza catches Cell's mouth before he could utter another word.

"Commander Cell was going to say, that he should use his own troops for the task. You see, the commander here is a one-man army. He can create an unlimited supply of high powered soldiers to aid us in our endeavors."

"Hmm... Yes, I could see that being a feasible option. What kind of troops are we talking about?" The captain curiously inquires.

"They're my offspring," Cell replies as he crosses his arms.

"Child soldiers? I'm not completely against the idea. Maybe it would be possible to reinstate a program similar to the Saiyan baby deployment procedure. How do you feel about that, Lord Freeza?"

"Considering how rare it is to encounter a species as barbaric as the Saiyan's were, I think it would be foolish not to take advantage of all the tools we have at our disposal."

"Once we get all the logistics sorted out we'll come back to you with a final report."

"Thank you, captain. You are all dismissed."

Once the proceedings end, Freeza makes a hasty retreat from the room with Cell not too far behind him. As soon as Freeza rounds the corner he hugs the wall, his breathing heavily burdened. Cell rest his hands on Freeza's shoulder as the small Icejin grips the wall in despair. "Calm down, you're hyperventilating."

"Unhand me, you filthy maggot!" Freeza screams while he pushes Cell's hand aside. Cell looks on stunned as Freeza angrily marches down the hall alone. The android mumbles under his breath before following after Freeza once more. "I just want my son," he says while remaining hyper-focused on his destination.

They stop at an unfamiliar door and knock. A few seconds later a petite Icejin female opens the door. "L-Lord Freeza?! What an unexpected surprise! How may I serve you?"

"Give me my son!"Freeza demands.

"Are you sure, Lord Freeza? I have no problem watching over young prince Kuriza for you. I know how busy you are and..."

Freeza threatens the woman with a death beam, she kneels to the ground in forgiveness."You dare to defy me, woman!?"

"N-no! Please... Accept my sincerest apology, Lord Freeza."

"On your feet, wench. Now, bring me my son!"

"Right! Yes, Lord Freeza!" Freeza and Cell wait near the door for the frantic Icejin woman to retrieve the children."Here they are, sir. Should I expect your return tonight?"

"Take a break. That's an order," He commands as they walk off with their two children in tow.

Kuriza and #8 walk some distance behind the two adults as Freeza makes a concerted effort not to get too close. "What are we going to do today father? Are we going to blow up a planet?" Kuriza says as he hurries his little legs to keep up with his father.

"Unfortunately, you'll have to contend with something less thrilling." Freeza reaches a heavily armored door with a multitude of locks. He scans his finger before being let into an airlocked area, after that they are greeted to a view of the wasteland planet. The four venture into a thin atmosphere that only the hardiest of organisms could withstand. In the midst of the lifeless desert is a playground set up for Kuriza.

"For me!? Thank you, father!" Kuriza grabs #8 by the arm, "Come on, let's go!"

Cell ogles the familiar structure in front of him, "A jungle gym? What strange kind of intergalactic cultural osmosis is at work here?"

"Tried and true designs work, no matter the species." Freeza responds.

Kuriza runs up to the swings and takes a seat, meanwhile #8 hides behind the bars. "Over here! Don't be scared." Kuriza gets up and guides the little blue bug to a swing of his own.

"Your son is too nice. It's quite frankly revolting," Cell says, turning his nose up at the display of gratuitous kindness.

"That will waver over time," Freeza replies.

"Oh yeah? How olds the pipsqueak if you don't mind me asking?"

"He can't be much older than 24 now."

"24!? Are you telling me that little shits older than me? He's so minuscule."

"Intelligent species take longer to maturate then those of sub-par intelligence. Of course, you wouldn't understand that."

"Hmph...could have fooled me," He grumbles as he walks over to the swingset with Freeza. The two parents stand off to the side as their boys struggle to gain altitude. "Aren't you going to push your son?" Cell says to Freeza.

"Same could be said for you, nitwit. Anyway, that's too close contact, I'd much rather have you push him for me instead."

Cell shrugs at the odd request, "Does your insecurity know no bounds?"

"Push my son!"

"Hmph...whatever. You better give me the best sex ever for this."

"Keep dreaming, you insufferable wretch." Freeza chides.

"Never change, babe." Cell stands behind Kuriza and starts pushing him on the swing while using his other hand to push his own son. Kuriza and #8 laugh and smile as Cell continues to push them higher. Freeza looks on with a glint of envy in his eye, he wants nothing more than to spend meaningful time with his son.

"Let's go to the monkey bars!" Kuriza shouts as he excitedly points.

All Freeza can do is watch them intently from a safe distance, knowing that only one wrong misstep could irreparably ruin his stern self-image.

"I don't get it, you can fly. I don't understand why you'd need my help up there." Cell lifts the kids up to the monkey bar, as they hang #8 starts kicking at the young Icejin, Kuriza follows suit.

Freeza looks on impatiently, the veins in his eyes spread as he watches the two children get painfully close to kicking each other off. He glares at the android with a displeased scowl, "What did I do now?" Cell says in confusion.

Freeza stomps his feet into the powdery soil of the planet, kicking up plumes of dust as he does."We are leaving! Time to go now!"

Cell helps Kuriza down from the monkey bar, "Awww...can we please stay longer dad?"

"No, no! Absolutely not! We are going back inside, now!" Freeza walks ahead towards the door while he ruminates over his negative thoughts.

Eventually, they discreetly make it back to Freeza's suite without a hitch. "Do you think these little guys are hungry?"Cell ask.

"I'll order in later," Freeza replies. He sits over on the couch and extends his arm's out to Kuriza who cheerfully runs over to hug his father. Cell looks flabbergasted at the deep emotional outpouring coming from the normally stonefaced Icejin. Freeza fastens his arms tightly around his son as they enjoy a moment of close bonding time. His focus breaks when he glimpses Cell lifting his armor over his head. "Don't do that in front of the children! Change in the lavatory!" Freeza scolds while he directs the androids attention to the restroom.

"What the hell? They're both naked. The majority of the time we are too."

Freeza gets up from his seat next to Kuriza and he walks over towards the restroom."If you're going to argue with me, I'll just have to change first."

"Ugh...wait up!"

They get themselves situated after spending much needed time with their children. As night falls they both get into bed, Freeza still embracing Kuriza close to his chest. "Once again, a child ruins our fun," Cell chides. He shifts himself away from Freeza and Kuriza, his own son laying alone at the end of the bed.

"Ohohohoho...You care not one thing for your progeny. I can't say I'm not envious." Freeza puts his sleeping son's head down on a nearby pillow and crawls over to grab #8. The little bug wriggles to escape his grasp but to no avail. "Here, let me show you." He nestles the bug in his arms and gently rocks him to sleep.

The large insect monitors Freeza's every movement astutely, "Wow, he's starting to shut his eyes."

Freeza hands the tired little insect over to Cell, "Now you try." Cell takes hold of his child and proceeds to perfectly mimic Freeza. He continues to cradle his son in his arms to the delight of his lover. "You're actually not half bad at it." Freeza goes back to hugging his own son, laying a kiss on Kuriza's forehead.

"Earlier, your father said you looked like a female. What was that all about? I mean... your son's current form looks similar to the one you have now. What gives?"

"It's complicated... You see, despite being essentially a parthenogenic clone of my father, I do possess peculiarities in my phenotype. While I did obtain the abnormally high power level of my father, the genes that ascribe my physical appearance were more so affected by external factors such as temperature. In fact, my egg hatched an entire year ahead of schedule."

"Oh, I get it now... you're a runt. It all makes sense now."

Freeza starts to seethe with vitreal at the android." Don't you dare slur the name of Lord Freeza like that! ...But if you're asking, it's true, I was a born premature, most females are. Something went array with my incubation process and I was feminized. The form I have now looks much different than that of my father or brother. While males are expected to mask their true power levels females are forced to have their levels on display. They're expected to remain vulnerable and meek at all times, which is why their true forms are favored above all others. As for my son, he is still a juvenile so has yet to obtain the dimorphic features of a male."

"Hm...Sounds to me like your father knows more then he's letting on."

"My father is aware of my affliction, everyone is... I'm just one big inside joke to them. They just choose to shun the truth for the sake of pageantry."

"So, do you think that you would have wanted to live your life like that? You're pretty good at taking care of kids, but you're also good at destroying planets."

"I don't know... sometimes, I want nothing more than to be treated like any other female, yet at others, I'm content with being male. You could say that a certain individual drags the woman out of me kicking and screaming."

"I won't even try to understand how that feels." Cells eyes glaze over the sleeping children and back to Freeza. "Now that those brats are asleep, we can get to what you still owe me from earlier."

Freeza shifts his body so that his back is facing Cell, he keeps his grip firmly around his son. "I hope you possess a vivid imagination than,"Freeza replies sarcastically. "Good night, Cell."

Cell curses under his breath before shifting his focus to his son,"What good are you for if you can't even get me laid?" He rambles to himself. He places #8 back at the edge of the bed and drifts off to sleep.


	6. Skin Deep

The next morning following breakfast, Freeza and Cell prepare to return the children back to their caretaker. The tyrant gets his last embrace before letting his son go, he savors every second as though it were his last. "Dad, can't I stay with you longer?"

"Your father is a very busy man...But, If I had It my way, I wouldn't leave your side for a second. Just be grateful that's not the case." Father and son exchange smiles before parting. "Now go with Cell, he'll take you back to your female." They walk out one at a time to avoid unwanted attention being brought to Freeza's room. The door finally shuts granting him an overdo exhale. Once alone, he starts vigorously scratching at his neck,"Why is it irritated again?" Freeza inquires as he stumbles over to the mirror for answers. The irate Icejin's anger only skyrockets when he gets a better view of his neck. "It's even more exasperated than it was before!" Flat nails scrap against the parched skin prompting it to flake. His neck down to his shoulders are awash in a sea of sandpaper skin ready to peel off at any moment. His face contorts in disgust at the grotesque betrayal of his biology. "I'm going to have to shed my old skin, the problem is, that overgrown bug will be back at any moment. The process is far too delicate to rush, I could irreparably damage my new epidermis if I do."

Freeza walks over to his wardrobe and pulls out another black turtleneck, "I'll just have to grin and bear it for now." Suddenly, he's alarmed when he hears a beeping coming from the scouter on his desk. The tyrant puts the device to his ear and listens in."Yes...yes... Is it ready now? Ok...ok... I appreciate the update, captain." Freeza hangs up and returns to gathering his uniform, as he attempts to complete the task he accidentally steps down onto a hard object. "Who would be so inconsiderate as to not pick up after themselves!?" He lifts his foot and sees that the object was one of his son's action figures he'd left behind. He examines it closely until a loud knock breaks his focus. The Icejin places the figure on the desk before checking the surveillance feed near his front door. He witnesses Cell holding a strange basket with an assortment of exotic alien fruit. Freeza opens the door and immediately begins to interrogate the android,"What do you have in your hand?"

"Oh, this? It's a gift basket. I didn't make it for you if that's what you're thinking, that cute female nanny did. It's to show her eternal gratitude... or whatever."

"Just set it over on the table, will you!"

Cell groans in disappointment before following up with Freeza's order. While he places the basket on the desk, his eyes catch a glimpse of the small action figure, he picks it up and shows it to Freeza. "Looks like your son forgot his toy. Shouldn't we return it to him?"

"He has a plethora of other toys he can play with. Just leave it there."

"So what's on the docket for today? There hasn't been anything particularly interesting going on lately, and I'm quite frankly bored out of my mind here. A quick warm up in the training room sounds like a good idea about now."

"I had something slightly different in mind. The captain rang me today."

"Oh? What does that asshole want now? Please don't tell me its another meeting."

"It's even better. Today's the day we get to test out our new transportation pod. Your child will be our first test subject."

"You mean #8? Are you sure about that?"

"Getting sentimental are we?"

"I couldn't care less what you do with that little brat. I may not be attached to him, but your son sure is. They were holding hands the entire time. It was truly a reprehensible sight to behold."

Freeza stares down at his feet for a while to process that unexpected blow to his emotions."My son needs to build a rapport with his pawn, so I can agree with you that it's not a good idea to use that particular roach for the task. So since that's the case, I'll need you to birth another one for me."

Cell shifts his gaze over to the wall, actively avoiding direct eye contact with the restive lizard."That shouldn't be a problem..."

Freeza taps his feet impatiently waiting for the android to complete his assignment."Any day now...."

"Give me a second! This is not as easy as it looks you know." Cell closes his eyes and does a quick inhale followed by a trailing exhale. His eyelids remain closed only subtle spasms make it clear he is still active. A quick jolt of energy burst forth allowing his Irises to emerge from hiding. A baritone grunt escapes from his throat accompanied by his twitchy Adam's apple. Freeza walks behind to witness the sucker on Cell's back start to expand nearly the width of his head. The bizarre organ recoils before spiting a brown leathery egg to the ground. The sucker remains dilated for a moment before shrinking back to its original state. Cell let's out a sigh before facing Freeza once more. "There, happy now?"

"Ohohohoho! That looked rather painful for you. It appeared as though you were going through contractions like some kind of female. Are you sure you're all male? That thing on your back says otherwise."

"Oh please... Miss me with your false bravado. I'm not insecure about my masculinity like you are. I could give a damn what's on my back, as long as it serves its purpose for me. You out of all people should know how much of a man I truly am."

Freeza grits his teeth at the jab at his self-esteem," How about you take your own advice and learn to take a joke?... Anyway, we have important business to attend to. Gather your newly acquired bastard and let's go."

Cell picks up the hatchling from the floor and together they head off to meet up with the captain. They enter a large room with a transparent dome roof where they're treated to a scenic view of the alien planet's topography. The captain stood next to another man in a white lab coat, he steps forth and takes a bow. "Good day to you, Lord Freeza."

"Why yes, a good day indeed, Captain. Do explain to us the protocol for this contraption."

"Why of course, Lord Freeza." The captain bows again as he hands the conversation over to the scientist next to him.

"Right this way, Lord Freeza." They're lead to a set of tiny space pods mounted to the wall. Freeza's eyes immediately light up at the sight of the tiny spherical pods."These containment vessels may look familiar to you, but I can assure that many advancements were made to these models. We used the old design specs as a template, but the speed to which the subject reaches a planet is far faster than previous incarnations."

"Interesting... I'd like to put that to the test if you don't mind?."

The scientist straightens up his posture at the request. "Yes, we can do that now if you'd like, Lord Freeza. Do you have the subject in question with you?"

Freeza glances over to Cell to coax a response out of him. "Oh right...Here you go."Cell passes his child off to the scientist.

The irritated infant bite down on the scientist's finger causing him to recoil and drop the bug on the floor. "Ouch!"

Freeza stares down the scientist as he recovers from the painful abrasion. He points to a red button near the pod and proceeds to interrogate him. "Is the primary function of this specific button to eject the child into spaces?"

The scientist rubs his sore hand before he conjures up a response."Yes, the deployment procedure is very simplified in these new models. All the coordinates for the planet are pre-set and ready for taking off."

"Well if that's the case, you are dismissed. I'll take over from here."

The two underlings bow before making their quick exit. Freeza reaches down to grab the child and hands him over to his father. "Time for your maiden voyage."

Cell looks down at the child and shifts his eyes back to Freeza. He cradles the Cell jr in his arms to calm him down, then places his son into the tiny cramped pod. The child looks peaceful as he sleeps silently. The glass door on the pod shuts as soon as Cell pulls his hands away. "Starting to feel regret? You're aware that once you press that button there is no turning back? Your child will be completely alone in the void of space, you'll never see him again."He studies Cell's body language intently while the androids finger hovers above the button. Without warning, a sudden surge of activity erupts within the chamber. Cell Jr bangs his tiny hands against the pod door, his large eyes full of tears. Freeza observes Cell take his hand and place it on the roof of the vessel. The Icejin tries to not make his amusement at the situation too obvious to the distressed android. Cell finally musters the courage to launch the deployment button sending the screaming child up into space. "How does it feel? Terrible isn't it? As though your heart is beginning ripped out of your thoracic cavity and stepped on like an ant?" Cell continues his listlessness unabated, he remains entranced in spite of his partner's Incessant prying."Bugboy, are you alright?"

" ...I just... Had to go for the dramatic pause, it adds a bit of finesse to the performance." Cell takes a moment to admire the craft as it disappears high into the planets outer atmosphere. "Ahh...Would you look at my boy go! I can assure you that planet will be stripped of all its biomass in no time."

Freeza's amusement shifts to frustration as he places his face into his palm."Its quite clear our reproductive strategies are parallel. You can produce hundreds of progeny fully capable of fending for themselves. There is little resources or time needed to maintain yourself as a species. I, on the other hand, have to raise my offspring for over 100 years."

Cell puts his hand on Freeza's shoulder,"I'm not an animal you know. I can control my baser impulses, I just haven't found a good reason to."

"Just like a Saiyan monkey," Freeza mocks.

After a long day of mundane military minutiae, they finally get some alone time in Freeza's quarters. Cell tosses off his heavy armor, his hard exoskeleton scuffed up by the tight fit. Freeza removes his own attire but is caught off guard once again by the flaking skin around his neck. "Damn it all! I forgot that I needed to shed today. I'm going to have to find a way to do it without that annoying pest finding out." He sees that Cell back is turned and decides to use that opportunity to sneak over to the bathroom. He lightly closes the door and locks it behind him.

The Icejin walks into the shower and prepares to turn it on until he hears Cell call out his name."FREEZA!?" Freeza ignores him and proceeds to turn the shower faucet. The warm water hits his fragile skin, it was a much welcome relief after all he'd been through. The tyrant soon gets to work slowly peeling down the dead skin on is neck with his dexterous fingers. His moment of tranquility is cut off when he lifts his head up and witnesses Cell's eyes peering over the shower door. The lizard reflexively jumps, hitting his back against the wall and slides down to the shower floor. "You could have invited me."

Freeza clutches at his loose skin too hide his previous activity, "Learn to respect my personal spaces, and maybe I'd let you join me!"

Cell grins as he fondly observes the slippery lizard cornered in the shower, the water languishing over his glistening ivory skin, the small hints of tarnish becoming ever more apparent as he soaks. "Hahahahaha...I knew you were molting, you can't hide it from me I'm afraid." He forces the glass door aside and reacts over to grab Freeza. "I had a better idea how to rid you of all that dead skin."

Freeza pouts before giving into Cells offer, "Like what exactly?"

"See for yourself," Cell replies. He pushes open the bathroom door with Freeza still nestled in his arms.

Freeza puts on a shocked expression when he notices the hot tub is filled with water. "And how pray tell is this suppose to help?"

"Wait and see..." Cell puts the trepid Icejin down. Freeza jaunts over to the tub and dips his toe in, he slowly applies his other limbs as he acclimates to the temperature. Cell doesn't bother taking his time and hurries himself in, splashing Freeza in the face with scalding water as he does.

Freeza snarls with rage as he reaches for a towel to wipe his face,"Are you trying to burn my skin off?!"

"I just thought a bit of hot water would help slide the skin right off. You seemed to have a similar, although less efficient idea in mind."

"It's not that easy you ignoramus. It requires, meticulous manual removal."

"That's where I come in, or more specifically, my hands."

"Well, that certainly does not imbue me with much confidence... Fine, just commence the skin removal procedure already. I got the area above my shoulders peeled off before you intruded on me."

Cell twirls his index finger to subtly guide Freeza in the other direction,"I'm going to need you to turn around so I can get started."

Freeza turns his back to Cell, a look of suspicion still plastered on his face."Don't try anything funny while you're behind me, you hear?"

"You're in good hands." Cell lays a kiss on the new skin on Freeza's nape before getting to work removing the old. Cell rolls the lizard's decayed skin down past his shoulders and gently guides Freeza's arms out like a sleeve. He continues to unfurl the skin until he reaches the Icejin's defined hips. "I'm going to need you to stand up now." Freeza complies lifting himself particularly out of the tub. He was uncharacteristically less combative. The overwhelming feeling of his new skin being hugged by the lukewarm water temporarily mutes his speech. The android leans in to wrestle with Freeza's bulky, uncooperative tail. Once the insect ventures below his tail, Freeza can feel robust hands fixate on his newly freed entrance. "Your skin feels so soft. It's like unwrapping a present picked out just for me. Can I taste it?" Cell pleads as the flustered Icejin turns around to meet his gaze.

"Fine. Consider it a small reward for your assistance."

Cell waste no time applying his bug-like tongue to Freeza's closed cloacal slit, he can feel it quivering as he laps at the moist skin surrounding it.Freeza grits his teeth in a fruitless effort to hide his arousal. Cell patiently watches Freeza's hole begin to open up. He immediately starts to lick at Freeza's penile sheath to encourage it to emerge. Upon successfully coaxing the member out, he starts to suck on it causing his lover to erupt into passionate moans. Cell rises to his feet, tidal waves of hot water splashes over Freeza as the taller man towers over him. He leans down pressing his soft pillowy chest against Freeza's arched back, his lips grazing up against the delicate lily white skin. "No biting this time!" Freeza interjects, making sure firm rules were in place before proceeding.

Cell plants light kisses against the Icejin's tender neck, " I wouldn't want to besmirch your beautiful soft skin after all." Freeza feels as Cell uses his hands to push the remaining excess skin down to his knees. The dead skin floats partially buoyant around his legs, the thought of it makes him a tad queasy, but he is too horny to care. "Just stick it in me! You filthy animal!"

"Hmph...With language like that, I think you deserve it in your naughty hole tonight."

"No!"

Cell couldn't help but put on his usual arrogant smirk at Freeza's sudden outburst." Maybe next time. I still have to test run this new pussy of yours."

"My internal structure has not been modified, idiot!"

Cell chuckles a bit before he finally sticks his erect penis into Freeza's awaiting hole. Within his cloacal cavity is a forked path and Cell takes extra care to pick the right route this time. Freeza leans against the edge of the jacuzzi, his eyes fully animated as he feels the large object excavate his vagina. The water around them ripples with each swift stroke, erupting into geysers as the force applied increases. The Icejin picks up on the sloshing sounds of his wet hole being forced open with each rapid thrust. It's the bizarre symphony of his own body fluids and the warm water that turns him on even more. The bugs sharpened nails begin to dig into the lizards waist as he vigorously hammers into his body. "Ahhhhhhhhhh! Are you trying to blemish my new skin as well!?"

Freeza hears a "Shhh..." sound come from Cell before he finds himself being plunged into the hot water. Any other organism would risk drowning, but Icejin's ear holes instinctively close up to prevent that. The android's massive hands press down against his back, preventing the smaller Icejin from resurfacing. Cell watches with amusement as his partner thrashes about underneath the water's surface."Hm...You did say this was your natural environment, didn't you?

Freeza fully embraces the warmth surrounding his body. He proceeds to kick off the last vestige of excess skin around his feet to get more comfortable. The alien's eyes remain shut as he takes in the feeling of his hole being stretched while the pressure of the water fights against his lover's unwavering thrust. Freeza finally gives in completely to the waves of sexual energy rippling through his core. His orgasm doesn't go unnoticed as the android witnesses the bubbling water around the submerged Icejin increase. "I think you've had enough." He uses his hands to lift Freeza upper body out of the water, leaning him against the side of the tube as he continues to thrust in deeper. Freeza clings to the side of the hot tub, his slippery fingers fight pathetically not to slide back into the boiling cauldron. "Ahhh...Damn..." Cell's grunts become more labored, he grabs a hold of the base of his penis in a feeble attempt to pull out. His cock starts swelling, keeping him locked into his lover's body. He gets his relief when Freeza's powerful muscles clam down around him. Cell finishes, he expending his sticky seed into the warm bath water below. He collapses over Freeza's tiny body and they both struggle to catch their breath.

"Ok...I'll admit...that was a good Idea," Freeza whispers.

Cell gives the gracious Icejin a kiss on the cheek. "Anything for my princess." He lifts Freeza out of the sullied water and sits him down on the outer edge of the tube while he goes to grab a towel.

"I'll do anything to get you to stop calling me that!"

"Round 2?"

"No!"

Cell laughs as he wipes down Freeza's baby soft skin, using extra care to wipe between each crevice of his body. "You're going to have to slather an emollient on my new skin so it doesn't dry out. Check the top drawer, will you?"

Cell complies, he walks over to the drawer and in no time finds what he was after. He kneels down next to Freeza and starts rubbing the oils up his muscular legs. The android grows fixated on the Icejin's 3 toed feet, he immediately starts to slide his tongue between each toe. Freeza looks down and marvels at the outrageous display of adoration."Hmm... Its almost like I'm stepping on you. You love being beneath me, don't you?"

"I guess that makes two of us," The wiley insect replies with a hint of sarcasm.

Freeza sneers at the bug before changing the subject."You know in the next few days things are going to become more perilous for us. We won't have much time to lollygag around."

"Does this have to do with your training in the God realm? What do you expect me to do all day while you're gone?"

"Don't jump to conclusions. I'll find a way to let you join me, after all, I'm going to need you to keep pace with me."

"How long will you be training for?"

"We'll train for 6 months under the tutelage of Whis-Sama, which is why I made it a priority to get all my affairs in order ahead of time. The regimen will be arduous, so I would suggest taking it easy while you still can."

Cell wraps Freeza's small body into the plush towel and lifts him up from where he was perched. "Are you forgetting who you're talking to?"

"Don't say I didn't warn you."


	7. All Work And No Play

The day of their God training finally arrives. The pair waits patiently outside for their chauffeur to take them to Beerus's planet, In the meantime, Cell is saddled with what little belongings Freeza felt worth bringing with him for the trip. To the delight of the android, they opt to leave their restrictive battle armor behind. Out of boredom, the tall insect decides to focus in on an alluring aroma coming from a fancy tray the small lizard is holding. "I saw the chef hand that to you earlier. Why does it smell so familiar?"

"It's disgusting Goliek, It's Whis's Favorite food from my home planet. I'm presenting it to him as a peace offering."

"The great Lord Freeza, groveling like a commoner? Hmph...I suppose our bedroom etiquette is starting to rub off on you."

"You would too if you truly understood what he's capable of."Freeza is taken aback when he spots his father and Kuriza coming out of the base. "What does he want? He sneers.

"Bon voyage! Farwell, my son!" Cold opens his arms and scoops up his tiny son from the ground.

Freeza kicks his legs in desperation as he fights to get out of his dad's powerful hold."This is absolutely embarrassing, father! I insist you put me down this instant!"

King Cold gently places his irritated son back on his feet, he then walks up to Cell. "Take good care of my precious little cupcake for me. Will you?"

Cell reaches out to shake Cold's hand. "Don't worry, I'll make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble."

After Cold gets done conversing with Cell, he goes over and lightly shoves his nervous grandson towards his parent."Go on, little one. Say goodbye to your father."

The tyrant glares down at his son, unsure of how he should broach the situation. He reaches his hand out to Kuriza."Goodbye, son." His son stares at the hand and back to his father's emotionless face.

Kuriza attempts to go in for a hug but is pushed back by his father. Kuriza slowly understands the stern patriarchs intent and goes to shake his father's hand instead. Freeza's larger palm clutches tightly to his son's before he finally relinquishes his firm grip."Goodbye, dad." The two Icejin's wave before making their quick exit.

"Your father is surprisingly pleasant in spite of his noble status," Cell remarks.

"You're wrong..." Freeza retorts angrily. "He's a senile old fool that's lost his way. The fact that he thinks it is appropriate to hug me in full view of everyone just further cements his ineptitude."

Cell taps his feet, he starts to become impatient after waiting so long for the elusive angel to arrive. "What's taking that guy so long? If this is one of his godly tests, I give up already."

"It hasn't even been 10 minutes. I swear you have the attention span of a shrew."

A couple more minutes past before a colorful beam of energy collides with the ground in front of them. It's a kaleidoscope thin pillar of light. "Hola, Freeza!" The angelic being smiles, his eyes remained shut as he waves to his pupil.

Cell stares curiously at the tall angel, his warm smile makes the android slightly uneasy. "Does he open his eyes?" The insect inquires as he waves his palm in front of the strangers face.

"Stop that, you idiot!" Freeza tries his best to correct his lover's bad manners.

"Who is that with you?" Whis says.

"Oh, I hope you don't mind if I bought a sparring partner with me. I just felt that it would benefit my training greatly to spar with another mortal such as myself."

"Hmm... I don't see a problem with that. I'm sure Beerus would welcome more worthy opponents.. by the way, did you remember to bring it?"

To the surprise of Cell, Freeza kneels before Whis and offers up the tray to him."Why of course, Whis-Sama. Just as you asked."

Whis's eyes open for a quick second before closing again. The sight and smell of his favorite dish make it hard for him to contain his glee. He taps it with his staff to store it for later within its crystal orb."Goliek! My favorite! I don't know if your father told you, but this very dish was the reason why Beerus spared your planet."

"Why yes! After all, Goliek is amongst the finest traditional Arcosian dishes in our race's repertoire." Cell smirks at Freeza after his blatantly fabricated praise.

"Alrighty, grab on!" Freeza reaches out to grab hold of the Angel's long cloak, while Cell grabs his shoulder on the opposite side." Make sure to hold on tight. Wouldn't want to fall into the endless abyss now would we?"

"What is he talking about?" Cell whisper.

"Let go if you want to find out," Freeza replies sarcastically. The ray of colorful light engulfs their bodies as they're wist away to the God realm.

Cell looks down into the never ending void of nothingness underneath him."Point taken."

After an awkward 30-minute trip, they make it to Beerus's pyramid-shaped planet, and emerge from the pillar of light onto a pristine marble platform. "Alright, we're here! Time to get to work. You two have a long day ahead of you. Oh, how rude of me not to formally introduce myself to your friend. My name is Whis..." There is a substantial pause after Whis completes his statement. He stares uncomfortably at Cell before screaming at the top of his lungs. The lizard and bug exchange a quick glance, unsure of what to make of the angel's spontaneous outburst. Cell returns his attention back to Whis only to be smacked in the face with a flyswatter.

"Oh, C'mon! Does everyone have one of those god damn things!? I'm starting to think I'm still in Hell!" Freeza chuckles as he watches the pissed off insect rub at his bright blue face still imprinted with the pattern of the swatter.

Whis eventually comes to his senses as he slowly realized who it was he hit. "Cell? Oh dear...I do apologize. You see, we have rather large insects on this planet, and I just so happen to mistake you for one."

Freeza looks to Whis with suspicion."How did you know his name? I don't recall mentioning him to you."

Whis giggles before giving the suspicious skink his honest response. "Lord Beerus and I happen to be big fans of the two of youse work."

Freeza instantly perks up after receiving a compliment from his teacher,"Lord Beerus? A fan of my work? I'm flattered."

The grumpy bug crosses his arms while taping his feet against the ground impatiently."It's fine, let's just get to what we came here for."

"If you insist." Whis twirls his staff and then points it at Freeza. A glow of light in the form of a short apron appears on his waist. The shimmer eventually fades as the light solidifies itself.

Cell looks down at Freeza's frilly blue apron and chuckles."That looks really cute on you, babe."

Freeza glances at the insect from the side of his eye, "Oh, I think that you'll like yours even better."

"What do you mean by, yours?" Just as he speaks, Whis targets him with his staff, instantly materializing a pink apron around the android's waist. "You gotta be kidding me...Why pink?! I'm a man, goddammit! Why do I have to wear this color? He's the one that actually likes pink!"

Freeza takes joy in laughing at his lover's expense. "Ohohohohoho! Look who's the insecure one now... Anyway, I think it looks rather dashing on you."

Cell groans as he comes to terms with his flamboyant attire."Whatever! As long as it helps with our training, I could give a damn what it looks like!"

"Here's your list," Whis hands over a long piece of paper to Freeza.

Cell peeps over his shoulder to get a better look."Till the field, wash clothes, replace Beerus's linen, run a bath for Beerus... What the hell?! Are you really passing off housewives work as training?"

"Why yes! Complete every item on that list and then you'll get to the fun part. There happens to be two of you, so it shouldn't take long. Freeza, I trust that you can take over from here?"

Freeza bows in respect before answering the angel."Why of course, Whis-Sama!" Cell just stands there until Freeza jabs at his side to get him to bow as well. Whis vanishes leaving the lovers alone to plot their next course of action.

"If you disregard the creepy smile, that Whis guy is pretty hot."

"Touch Whis-Sama, and I swear, I will destroy you on his behalf! Now quit you lecherous gawking and let's get to work!"

 Freeza guides Cell to a large grassy field, once they get there he gathers up supplies from a nearby shed. He pulls out a wheat cutting scythe and hands it over to Cell."You'll need to use these to complete the task."

Cell turns his nose up at the idea that he needs to use gardening tools."Why not just use my bare hands?"

"Because it has to be done perfectly, bug brain. Any small misstep could ruin the alignment of the vegetation, and cause a rapid shift in their growth cycles."

"I am perfect. An already perfect being can only yield perfect results. Watch, and learn." Cell flies above the field for a clearer vantage point. He scans over each blade of grass, using his keen vision to find the weak point in each stalk. He begins to trace his hand over the field as though he's conducting an elaborate orchestra. With each stroke of the hand, a row of grass is swept away neatly into the baskets below until the entire land is cleared. The cocky insect lands back down beside Freeza, admiring his handiwork as he gloats. "What did I tell you? A piece of cake!" Freeza walks over to inspect the lot. He lowers himself down to get a thorough examination. Freeza waves his hand at Cell to get his attention. "Are you trying to tell me how impressed you are?"

"Not on your life." Freeza wafts up a small blade of grass between his slender fingers. Cell looks in befuddlement as tiny heads if grass starts peaking out from the soil. "I told you this was a delicate process. Your idea of "perfection" doesn't work here. Now this entire field will regrow itself by noon." He lets out a frustrated sigh before continuing." We'll have to leave it be for now, we have a literal laundry list of things to do in the meantime." Cell snarls at the uncooperative field before following behind the dissatisfied alien.

Freeza wipes his brow as he hangs up the last piece of clothing on the line. They had been working on a year's worth of laundry without a single break, their fingers pruned by the meticulous hand washing. Cell tosses the washboard into the wooden bucket and makes his way towards the Icejin."This is mind-numbing boring. Are we done yet?"

"I'm afraid we haven't even scratched the surface. Our next task is the most grueling of them all, so I'm going to need you to follow my commands closely."

"I don't understand, what's so difficult about changing sheets?"

"This is not just anyone's sheets you know. We're changing the sheets of the God Of Destruction. If you even breath the wrong way it could get us both killed." Freeza prances to the line and removes the clean sheets, he folds them up neatly and places them in a large woven basket. He hands the basket over to the confused android."Follow me."

Freeza leads them into Lord Beerus's sleeping chambers. The entire place is booby-trapped with floating yellow bombs, each equipped with hourglasses in the center. "Take extra precaution not to touch those orbs, they're actually explosives," Freeza whispers as they both fly over to the Hakaishin's bed. The purple feline was laying in the most uncomfortable positions imaginable, his loud snores reverberating throughout the cavernous structure.

Cell crosses his arms and snickers. "So that's the God Of Destruction? Looks more like an overgrown house pet to me."

"Fearsome, I know." Freeza hovers over the bed as he patiently waits for his opportunity to strike.

"Why are you stalling? Just put the damn thing on already."

"Would you shut your..."Freeza is cut off when he sees the feline staring back at him. He freezes in place, just thinking about how he'll dodge the God's destructive ki blast.

"Whis, get me a glass of milk would ya....."Beerus shuts his eyes and falls back to sleep to the relief of Freeza.

"Phew... That was close."

Cell glides over to Freeza and snatches the sheets from his hand."Give me that!"

"What do you think you're doing, you fool? Return that to me at once."Freeza's eyes widen with fear as he watches Cell kneel down next to the bed. He starts to pull off the sheets underneath Beerus. He waits with extreme patience for each precise moment that the god shift positions before removing more. Eventually, he removes the entire sheet to the surprise of Freeza, but he still has to put on the new one. He reaches for the new sheet and goes to tuck it under the mattress until, without warning, Beerus's leg wraps around his arm. The color from his face drains as he sees the cat begin to stir. He looks over to his partner for support but he's nowhere to be found."Shit..."

Beerus yawns while he lifts himself into a seated position. Cell desperately tugs to free himself from his unrelenting hold. The God of Destruction opens his eyes, only to see the terrified insect staring back at him."AHHHHHHHHH!!!" Beerus screams and Cell follows suit with his own. Freeza peaks his head out from behind the pillar, still far too afraid to come out from hiding. He was deeply shaken about his partner's potential fate but knows that he's ultimately helpless to stop the inevitable.

The God Of Destruction's face twist into that of anger, he then uses his right hand to grab something from underneath the mattress. All the poor android could do is sit back and await his punishment. Beerus pulls out an object all too familiar to the bug and smacks him across the face with it. "TAKE THAT! AND THAT! YOU DIRTY PEST! Cell flies towards the chamber entrance as fast as he could."I swear these bugs get larger by the day, It makes me regret being a God Of Destruction." Cell peaks his head out from near the door. "What is it with these dumb insects! You're outside already! Don't come back in! Stay outside the door!"

Whis suddenly appears beside Beerus. "Lord Beerus, I heard a rather loud disturbance coming from your chambers. Is everything alright?"

Beerus points his shaky finger over at Cell."There's a large bug in my room! Please kill it for me, Whis!"

"That's not any bug, my Lord. You might want to take a closer look." Whis materializes a pair of fancy opera binoculars and holds it up to Beerus's eyes, his temporarily improved sight makes things clearer for him.

"Is that Cell? What's he doing here? I thought he was in Hell?"

"You really should get glasses, my Lord." Whis starts to whisper into Beerus's ear to fill him in on the long boring details. The curious cat listens in closely as he is caught up to date with the goings-on of their celestial planet.

"Hm...right...oh...did he really?...wow!"The feline looks over to the pillar that the tiny lizard is standing behind.."FREEZA!"

The Icejin hesitantly steps out from behind the stone pillar with a look of dread on his face. "Yes, Lord Beerus... sir."

"Get over here, you too Cell!" The two villains slowly make their way to the center of the room, the urge to escape ever present on their minds. They crowd around Beerus's tiny circular bed while they await their demise. "I just wanted to say that...I'm sorry Cell! I didn't know it was you, I swear.! You see, we have rather large creepy crawlies around here. When I woke up and saw you in front of me, I thought that their queen somehow found her way into my chambers."

Freeza starts to giggle at the grumpy android. "Ohohohohoh! Queen, you say?" Cell mumbles obscenities to himself as he's verbally mocked by the small Icejin.

"You two aren't doing anything important, right? How about we stop by Earth for some grub? My treat."

Freeza is nervous about the idea of going back to Earth after he promised Goku and the others to never go back there. "Actually, we're quite busy with chores at the moment...So, unfortunately, we'll have to decline your cordial offer."

"Nonsense! The busy work can wait. I'm taking you boys out to the best food joint in the universe. Fetch me my clothes, will you Whis?" The white-haired angel aims his staff at Beerus, instantly changing him into his trademark God Of Destruction garb. The Hakaishin then proceeds to grab the two confused villains around the neck and pulls them in close,"You boys are in for a real treat!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My car broke down this week, so I had a lot of time to write while I waited for my ride to pick me up. Also, after rewatching some of super, I realized that Vegeta wore the pink apron because he legitimately likes pink. He could have easily switched his apron for the blue one. That's so cute :3


	8. Scars

It's a calm Saturday afternoon at Capsule Corp. Vegeta and Bulma are laying out on their lawn chairs enjoying the warming rays of the summer sun.

"Isn't it nice to just kick up your feet and relax on a sunny Saturday afternoon, Vegeta? The weather is nice, mom and dad took the kids out camping, we have the entire weekend to ourselves."

"Hmph...It would be if he didn't feel the need to tag along." The disgruntled Saiyan prince points at Goku who is seated to his right.

Goku scratches the back of his head as he nervously attempts to explain his presence to his persnickety rival."You didn't want to spar with me, what else am I supposed to do?"

"Go be around your own woman, Kakarot."

"Lighten up, Geta. After all... The more the merrier?... Three is a crowd?"

"That's precisely what we were trying to avoid, you idiot!"

Bulma wags a finger at her ill-tempered husband,"Leave him alone, you big grouch! He's not hurting anyone by being here. The only thing that could ruin this beautiful day is if Lord Beerus himself showed up." Less then a minute after she spoke, Beerus appears in front of them accompanied by his trusty angel and pupils.

"No need to roll out the red carpet for me, Bulma, just hand over the delicious food and no one has to get hurt."

"You again!? Why'd you have to pick today of all days to bother us?" Bulma responds out of frustration.

"As you can see, I have guests with me. If I were you I wouldn't keep them waiting."

Bulma carefully studies the two figures standing behind the God and screeches when she recognizes who they are." Freeza...and Cell?!"

Vegeta promptly gets up from his seat to confront Freeza. "You made a promise to never show your ugly mug around this planet again. Don't know why I took the word of a cold-blooded snake like you. I thought that you at least valued your pathetic life, guess I was wrong."

Vegeta starts to charge up his Ki when Cell steps in with one of his own."How's life been treating you, prince? It's been awhile since I stomped you into the dust. Like me to have another go at it?"

"My battle is not with you, Cell, but it seems as though you want it to be. I don't know how you were brought back to life, but the honeymoon ends here for you and your boyfriend."

Freeza finds a reason to give The Prince Of All Saiyan's his attention after the snide remark."Pardon?"

Beerus steps in and places his palm over Vegeta's face,"Don't go around starting trouble with my students, Vegeta." The prince grits his teeth but eventually relents to Beerus's threat. Vegeta then turns around and stomps towards his house, he opens the door and slams it behind him.

Whis breaks from his group to join Bulma."My, my... Vegeta has a rather pronounced temper on him today... By the way, mind if I study some of your cooking techniques, Bulma? I'd love to take some of your recipes back home with me."

"Sure! Then maybe you won't have to take the long trip over here, right?"

"Oh, I wouldn't go that far. I couldn't possibly get as skilled as you... And between you and me, Beerus comes here for the socializing more than the actual food."

The angel and the blue-haired woman enter the building leaving Goku alone with Beerus and his two disgruntled trainees."I'm going to take a quick nap on those chairs over there until the food is ready. Try not to cause any trouble while I'm asleep." The two nervous villains shake their heads in unison. The satisfied Hakaishin takes a seat and props his feet up to get comfortable for his extended stay.

Freeza can tell that the Saiyan wants to strike up a conversation with him, but the aloof tyrant tries his best to avoid contact. "Freeza! Long time no see!"

The lizard sighs while placing his face into his blistered palms,"I was hoping I'd never have to see your despicable face again."

Goku lifts his forearm up to Freeza and shows him a large scar going up it. "I got this during our battle with Jiren. When I threw you into the air your tail accidentally grazed my skin leaving this cool mark. Whenever I look at it, I'm reminded of the battle we fought together." Freeza gnashes his teeth in anger, he wishes he could punch the joyful Saiyan right in the jaw.

Meanwhile, Cell fights to contain his laughter while he watches the eager Saiyan show off his old battle wounds to the uninterested Icejin. "How cute..."

Goku then walks over to Cell and lifts his sleeve up, he points at a faded scar along his upper shoulder." I'm not sure if you can see this Cell, but I got this nasty bruise when we last fought."

"Press your luck, and maybe I'll give you more to go with that one."

In response, Goku takes on a battle stance,"I'm itching to have another go at you. This time I won't lose!"

Cell adopts his own stance while he stares down his opponent, "Oh, I'll make sure you do more than just lose. I'm going to send you back to the afterlife where you belong!" A powerful ki blast is immediately fired between the two just as they prepare to engage in combat. They collectively get second thoughts about their battle when they realize it was a warning shot from Beerus."Consider yourself lucky that I'm on a tight leash at the moment. Next time, you won't be so fortunate."

"Looking forward to it!" Goku shoots a smile at the android who quickly rebuffs with an intense leer. A familiar voice then catches the excited Saiyan's ear, it becomes clear the voice is that of his son."Gohan?"

"Hey, dad! I've been looking for you. Mom said you were at Bulma's so I..." The balcony of Capsule Corp becomes eerily quiet as all four sets of eyes turn their undivided attention to Gohan, the android, in particular, takes an extreme interest in him and begins his approach.

"Is that you, little Gohan? How you've grown since you sent me to Hell all those years ago. I hope you can understand why this won't be a warm reception."Beerus lifts himself slightly from his chair, fully prepared to step in if his student tries anything stupid.

"Oh...That's right, It was you Gohan that defeated Cell. This must bring back exciting memories from your battle, huh son?"

Gohan swiftly interjects his father's misinformed musings, "No... in fact, I'm trembling just looking at him. He's a terrible monster that has haunted me since I was a child. I was not looking forward to the day I'd face him again, but if I have to then so be it. What I have now is too precious to lose."

"That terrified child was much better at hiding his fear then you are as an adult. How pathetic.... Your power level isn't nearly as robust as it was back then. Face it Gohan, you're a shell of your former self."Cell takes his hand and places it up to Gohan's head, he starts to charge his ki at point blank range. "Shame, this isn't nearly as satisfying as I'd hoped, perhaps I'll take care of those precious things of yours to even the deal?"

Gohan directs an enraged glare at Cell's flippant threat against his family. They both stare each other down, Cell's ki still dangerously close to making contact with the half Saiyan's flesh. Goku looks on intently while Freeza ignores the debacle entirely. Beerus decides to put an end to the squabble, he places his palm against Cell's back as a warning. "Don't make another move or I won't hesitate to erase you." Beerus is only bluffing, but he hopes his threat will get the arrogant android to back down. Unfortunately for the God Of Destruction, it doesn't work, the insect just starts to charge his ki even more.

"Any last words..." His statement is short lived when Freeza of all people interrupts his revenge fantasy. The Icejin's prehensile tail constricts around his neck, he pulls him to eye level with himself. "Why did you stop me from getting my revenge on the brat!?"

"Because you're making me look bad in front of Lord Beerus! I simply will not let you make a fool out of me, you hear!? Freeza hits Cell over the head repeatedly until he eventually dissipates his ki. "Now start acting like you have some damn sense, will you?!"

"First you stop me from destroying the Earth, and now this!?"

Goku watches in awe as his two most formidable enemies bad talk each other."Wow, he acts just like Chichi!"

Gohan stands beside his father in sheer confusion at the scene playing out in front of him."Why are Freeza and Cell acting like an old married couple?"

"Since they had a child together in Hell,"Goku says nonchalantly

"A child?... I'm so confused...I'll ask you about that later. I'm going to go so the situation doesn't get any worse. See you around, dad!"

"Bye, Gohan! Be sure to tell Videl and Pan I said hello!" Gohan makes a hasty retreat while Cell and Freeza remain distracted by their squabbling.

Beerus raises his voice to get the pair's attention,"Alright, Break it up!"

Freeza bows in forgiveness after his indiscretion of his teacher's whims, "My apologies, Lord Beerus."

 

An hour passes, Lord Beerus is fast asleep on a lawn chair until an intoxicating aroma catches his nose. He sniffs around some more to get a better whiff of the favors he is about to treat his taste buds too. "Dinner's ready! Hope you're in the mood for a seafood-heavy meal this time around, Beerus." Bulma yells as she brings out the platters one by one.

Beerus licks his lips when he sees the plates of delicious food being brought out and placed on the table,"Anything fishy is in my favor." Beerus waves for the two antisocial villains to come over and join them."Over here, fellas!" They hesitantly make their way to the table as all eyes remain fixated on their every move.Cell pulls out a seat for Freeza, he doesn't bother taking one of his own.

Buma is shocked at the subtle display of devotion that Cell gives to Freeza. She notices that the insect still hasn't sat down and decides to verbalize her concern."You're welcome to take a seat if you like, Cell..."She freezes in place when the insect's sharp eyes meet her own.

The bug shifts eye contact away from the terrified woman to briefly give his reply. "Those chairs don't work for me considering my wings get in the way. I'm more comfortable standing if you don't mind?"

"Sure...go right ahead..."

Beerus sends a death glare in Cell's direction to get him to comply,"Sit down, now." The fear of getting erased is effective this time around, the large insect tries to hastily maneuver his wings into the chair. The android quickly becomes flustered as the crowd lingers on him. Out of frustration, he grabs the back of the chair and breaks it off to make himself more comfortable.

Bulma audibly gasp when she witnesses her furniture destroyed in front of her, "You could have just asked for a stool you know..."

Beerus grabs his chopsticks and goes around collecting every possible delicacy he can fit onto his plate."Ignore the pleasantries and dig in already!" The group collectively agree and start filling their own plates, just as they do Vegeta reappears on the balcony."So the prince finally decides to grace us with his presence,"Beerus mocks."

The Saiyan prince takes a seat next to his wife,"Hmph, I'm making sure I get some of my wife's cooking before you eat it all."

"So Beerus, I thought you were taking a 1000 year catnap. What gives?" Bulma inquiries.

"Well, my plans were turned on its head when these two goons happened to pay me an impromptu visit to my planet."

"It was actually planned for months, Beerus-Sama," Whis casually interjects.

"You weren't gracious enough to do that for us," Vegeta jeers as he sticks his chopsticks into the tenderly roasted salmon.

"Quit your pouting and past the potato salad," The prince's skin turns slightly red before he unenthusiastically relents to Beerus's demands.

"So what's the deal, why are Freeza and Cell with you?" Bulma asks out of genuine curiosity.

"For training purposes of course. I want to make Freeza here my protégé."

"Protégé!? That doesn't sound like a good idea to me. You really stopped training Vegeta and Goku for that maniac?"

"No offense Bulma, but neither of them are cut out for the job. At one time Vegeta would have been a close contender, but I'm afraid he's grown too soft over the years." Vegeta listens in but opts to focus on his food rather than play into the catty god's insipid gossip.

Freeza looks over at Cell scarf down his food, he easily keeping up with the two Saiyans as they continue to pile on their plates."You eat just like an ape." Frieza's own plate remains empty, he's not too fond of the Earthling's pallet. Finally, something of interest catches his eye, it's a lobster completely untouched by the other diners. The Icejin's eyes dart around for any potential competition before going in for the kill, his attempt is blocked by Goku who quickly snags the other side of the lobster. "Let go, you stupid Saiyan monkey!"

"Why can't you share?!"

"Share?! You tried to take the entire dish from me. This is the only meal I like, go eat the other slop!" The two longtime enemies tug o war over ownership of the crustacean. Beerus swiftly intervenes, confiscating the entire lobster for himself. Freeza sulks back in his seat until Beerus shares a morsel of his lobster with the hungry Icejin. Finally feeling vindicated, Freeza sticks his tongue out at the poor Saiyan.

"Aww, Beerus... Can I have a piece too? Pretty please?"

"Absolutely not! A piece for you is the entire main course!"

Freeza nibbles at his prize while his intrigued partner watches him, his yearning to ask a question indelible. "What is it, Cell? I'm trying to eat."

"Lobsters are native to Earth, yet they seem oddly abundant throughout the galaxy. Why exactly is that?"

"It is unclear where they truly originate from. All that is known is that they are an import species that quickly became invasive to every planet they occupy. Their ability to survive in a multitude of conditions as well as their delicious taste is a reason why they prospered as much as they have."

"Interesting..." Cell catches a glimpse of Goku, the Saiyan makes it quite obvious he's staring at him. "You know it's rude to stare. If you have a question spit it out already."

Goku scratches his head before asking the two villains a personal question. "Beerus told me your child got erased. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry to hear that." The entire group stares wide-eyed at Goku before shifting focus to the bewildered baddies.

"Goku... are you serious with us right now? Freeza and Cell had a child? How is that even possible!?"

Vegeta chuckles as he witnesses his most hated enemy squirm in his seat."That's right, explain to my wife how a reprobate like you got pregnant and bore a child like a woman."

Freeza seethes with unbridled anger while his concerned lover holds his hand in a feeble attempt to dampen his temper.

"This situation is getting a lot more heated then I expected. Might want to nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand," Whis whispers to Beerus.

"Ahh...No it wasn't an actual child, it was a part of their special God Ki training. Whis and I came up with the new Itinerary. You see, to properly nourish God Ki you have to take care of a fake child..." Beerus could tell the crowd wasn't buying his story so he goes back to his plate, that is, until he notices his student start to lift himself onto the table.

Freeza stands up and begins to charge up a potentially Earth-destroying energy beam directly at Goku."DIE!" Before he could, Beerus chops him on the back of the neck causing the tyrant to faint.

Cell reaches over and grabs the unconscious Freeza and sits him on his lap."You impulsive idiot."

As the sun goes down Freeza still remains out cold, Cell had put a blanket over him to keep the Icejin's temperature regulated. Cell once again sees the curious Saiyan staring intently at them, but he ultimately chooses to disregard the prying eyes.

Goku finally musters the courage to walk over to the android who is too hyper-focused on his lover's recovery to even care."He looks so peaceful like that. Hehe, I always thought he had a really cute face when he ain't all angry."

Cell scowls at Goku before going back to tending to the wounded Icejin. The bug is taken off guard when Goku reaches out to lightly caress Freeza's face before quickly pulling his hand away. Something deep inside the android wanted to slap the hand away, but he ignores his irrational protective instinct. Goku gets the hint and backs off leaving the two tumultuous lovers in peace.

Beerus and Whis finally get done with their usual chit chat and head over to where Cell and Freeza are seated. "Wake up, sleepy head!" Whis taps Freeza on the head with his staff instantly waking the lethargic lizard from his stupor.

Beerus yawns loudly, he reaches over and shakes Cell's shoulder."Time to go, lovebirds." They grab on to Whis and make it back to the God realm, It was dark there just like on Earth, so Whis along with Beerus escorts them to the guest quarters. It is a quaint room with two small beds and a window with a beautiful view of the lake.

"This is where you'll be staying. I made sure to put all your belongs in here. Have any questions be sure to give me a buzz. Goodnight, see you bright and early!" Whis walks to the door were Beerus is standing, they exchange words before the angel makes his exit.

Beerus walks in and approaches the two as they make their way over to the twin beds."You know, you can combine the beds together if you like, that's completely up to you." The tension in the room could be cut with a butterknife, especially from the standoffish Icejin. Beerus scratches his head, he's utterly tongue-tied as what to say next. "Well, I hope you enjoy your stay here." He lingers awkwardly on the lovers before running over to one of the beds and snatching a pillow from it. "Pillow fight!" He hits Freeza over the head with the pillow, the lizard's usual grimace remains unshaken.

"I'm sorry, Lord Beerus. I'm just awfully tired after all the chores we were subjected to earlier today."

"I was just kidding. Rest up, see you in the morning." Beerus walks out closing the door behind him.

Cell lets out a much-needed sigh of relief that the Hakaishin is finally gone."Man, that guy makes me so uncomfortable. If it wasn't for his abnormally large power level I would have punched him in the face by now. The fact that it's been confirmed that they were spying on us in Hell makes it even more disturbing. Like, I'm totally ok if he wants to join in on our fun, but at least ask first."

Freeza remains deathly quiet, he turns his body to face away from Cell in his bed. As the early morning hours approach, the android is abruptly jolted from his slumber. He immediately checks Freeza's bed but the tyrant is nowhere to be found. Cell's memory takes him back to earlier when they were working on the field."He really isn't..." Cell exits the building to search for the missing, Icejin. His initial hunch is right, he spots the weary lizard cutting away at the grass with his scythe. "Leave it for tomorrow, you're too burnt out."

"I will not stop, you hear me! Every inch of this grass will be cleared! I am not giving up until I get my chance to train with Whis-Sama! Not you nor anyone else will stop me!"

The insect is stunned at the Icejin's commitment to his goals, it was something that the android himself couldn't quite fathom, but secretly always wanted to. Cell goes to the shed and gathers tools of his own to help his partner out." Need a hand?"

"As long as you keep them off of me and on the field, then by all means."Cell smirks and they both commence removing the grass from the ground, the moonlight tracing their bodies as they work tirelessly into dawn. All they know is that they have a long morning ahead of them.


	9. Head In The Clouds

The sun rises on Beerus's planet. Whis is on his early morning rounds, making sure that things are in proper order. He goes up to the guest room and knocks on the door but gets no response. "Hm, I wonder what those boys are up to so early?" The white-haired angel continues his routine unabated before he eventually stumbles upon two familiar figures splayed out on the castle grounds. The large green insect is face down in the dirt while the tiny white lizard rest atop his shoulder. The duo is surrounded by bags of freshly cut grass they'd removed earlier on in the day. "Oh dear, it seems these two have overdone themselves. I hope they don't mind the early wake-up call." Whis taps them both with his staff, instantly revitalizing their energy.

Freeza comes to first and looks around at his surroundings skeptically."Where exactly are we?"

"Good question. You should be tucked away in bed at this hour. It seems that you both took the initiative and got an early start on your chores. I must say, I'm thoroughly impressed."

Cell lifts himself to his feet clumsily."Does this mean we can finally train? To be frank with you, I didn't sign up to be your personal maid."

"Not quite. There is still the matter of Lord Beerus's bath."

"Ugh, are you kidding me! You might as well take me back to the base. I've had enough of this so-called God training for one day."

Whis laughs into his hand before addressing the irate insect's concerns, "I was just going to say that it can wait, per Lord Beerus's wishes of course."

"Sweet!" Cell looks over to the Icejin in bewilderment."How should we decide who goes first?

"No silly... I want you both to attack me at the same time...And Freeza, see how long you can maintain your golden form during our training today."

"Of course, Whis-Sama." Freeza charges up an aura so powerful it sends the bags of grass careening into the air. The tall angel remains unphased as waves of frenetic energy clashes with his robe. Cell holds his forearm up to his head while he fights to maintain traction. In spite of him already witnessing his lover's full potential in the afterlife, he's still mesmerized by it. The tyrant's energy simmers down as his feet touch back down onto solid footing.

"Alright, go ahead. I want you both to hit me as hard as you can," the joyful angel goads.

Cell scratches his head still unsure about the angel's true level of power, something about it felt disingenuous. "Have you lost your mind!? How could you possibly take us both on at once? Do you have a death wish?"

"Thanks for the concern, but I'm certain I can hold my own against you two."

The android and Icejin glace at each other briefly before launching a team attack. They direct their combined assault on Whis who gracefully dodges the barrage of fist, not even a fingernail is able to graze his long cloak. The strike continues for what feels like hours with no noticeable progression. Cell becomes annoyed and proceeds to berate the kind-hearted cherubim."Are you going to hit us or what!?" The angel exchanges a coy smile while he continues his swift evasions. "Hmph... This bastard is fooling with us! I can't stand to be toyed with like some kind of amateur!" The ticked off android thinks while he continues with his repetitious attacks.

Freeza's powerful strikes become pitiful flails as his stamina starts to deplete."Damn it! My golden form is already wavering. I must rethink my strategy if I'll ever get a chance to even touch him."Freeza leaps to the side of the angel and throws out his last remaining vestige of Ki before his golden form vanishes. The android decides to use that exact opportunity to strike. Cell lounges straight for the angel's delicate face while he's off guard, he gets close but is ultimately pushed back by a powerful gust of ki knocking the bug off his feet.

"What is that powerful energy emanating from his body? He didn't even lay a finger on me, yet here I am, wallowing in the dirt like a lowly insect!" Cell gets a quick glimpse of Whis who is now standing with his arm extended outward.

"And... that's time! Good job, Freeza! You lasted 5 hours and 42 minutes in your gold form, surpassing your previous record of 3 hours and 12 minutes."

Freeza looks down in disappointment, his goal of finally striking his teacher dashed in an instant."I thought today would finally be the day that I hit you."

"That's what this training is for. The only way you could possibly hit me is to train your form, that and some god ki might do the trick." The Icejin reluctantly nods his head in acceptance.

"So I guess now we have to give that pretentious purple pussycat a bath?" Cell sneers.

"No, that comes later...much later for you in fact."Whis encourages the tepid villains to gather in close as he brandishes his staff at them. "With this staff, I can store things, but, it can also be used for training purposes. It can transport you to a hidden realm made entirely of divine energy. The catch is, that time moves exponentially slower than it does in the outside world."

"Oh, so it's like that accursed mortal realm simulation in Hell? Gotcha!" Cell replies.

"How long do you expect us to be contained within that pocket dimension? I don't think I could possibly tolerate another year alone with that cretin." Freeza scoffs.

"As long as you can survive. I stocked up on some food, so whatever is in there will suffice. Just be mindful to save the rest of the Goliek for me."

"You don't have to worry about that," Freeza responds.

"Happy training to you, fellas!"Cell and Freeza along with Whis's staff are spontaneously wist away to a mysterious space bathed in powerful cosmic energy. The atmosphere is thick which allowing them to hover with minimal effort, the pressing issue is the lack of mobility.

"This immense cloud of energy is compressing my body! It feels like I'm at the bottom of the ocean!" Cell instinctively flares his energy up freeing his body from his imprisonment. He struggles to maintain proper balance to the amusement of the seasoned space lizard

"It is fairly simple really, you just let your full energy out and counterbalance it with your lower energy." The tyrant effortlessly breaks through the pressure barrier and glides over to the staff projecting above."It looks as though Whis-Sama can monitor our activity, so let's try to keep it strictly to combat."

"If that's the case, let's get down to business,"Cell replies enthusiastically. They duke it out while trying their best to conserve stamina. The mysterious energy aids in their attacks giving each one an added punch. The fist fly for over three theoretical days before Freeza eventually collapses to his knees. He fights to catch his breath before promptly stumbling as he tries to lift himself up. Cell gives a look of contempt at the tired tyrant." Let's take a break. You're far too winded in your current state to be of any use to me. I suggest you go eat something."

"If I can't go a measly few days without sustenance, I have no right to ever call myself a god!"

"Oh, so that's your game. You're after that freakish feline's throne, aren't you? If you sit around and wait for the guy to past his title to you, it'll take forever. I have a hunch that you have something deliciously devious in store for our ole buddy Beerus."

"Ohohohoho! It seems you know me better than I thought. While I do have something devilish up my sleeve, I'm still in need of information on the exact properties of his immortality. Something tells me, I might not have to lift a finger to actually defeat him."

"Well, If you're looking for help, look no further."

Freeza grins at the cocky android, he then turns his attention to the staff above. Inside is a tiny pocket dimension full of Whis belongs, but he's unsure how to access it. He leans in and sticks his hand in to feel around for anything good. Freeza's stubby arms struggle to grab hold of anything appetizing until his fingers hook onto a rubbery object. The Icejin pulls his hands out and discovers that he's holding a banana. The grumpy galactic tyrant sighs as he eyes his catch."I don't know what's worst, that this is monkey food or that it's shaped oddly like genitalia."

"Hmph, seems fitting enough for you," Cell mocks.

Freeza ignores the clear insult to his character and focuses in on satiating his appetite. As he begins to peel the banana he notices the Insect's eyes studying his lips. The unwanted attention makes him nervous so he tries to scarf down the suggestive fruit quickly.

"You should eat that slower..."

"Quit it, you pervert! Let me eat my snack in peace so that we may continue with our training!"

"You're going to need a lot more than that to satisfy your appetite. I can help you with that you know?"

"I explicitly told you, we can't fool around in here! We must focus entirely on our training."

The pensive android floats over to the staff and rummages through its contents, he pulls out a bushel of bananas and hands it over to Freeza. "Eat this entire thing, and then I'll train with you again."

"You're in no position to give me orders... But, since you went through the trouble of fetching them for me... I'll oblige this once." Freeza peels one banana and eats it as fast as he can while still remaining graceful. He senses the nosey android's eyes burrowing holes into his soul as he goes for another one,"I'm not doing this for your entertainment you know!"

"Unfortunately for you, it's not hard for you to entice me." Cell glares over to Freeza and lowers himself down to his level, he grabs a banana and unpeels it before shoving it in the confused lizards face. Freeza blushes slightly at the implied erotic nature of the request but decides to take the banana in his mouth anyway. He closes his eyes as he wraps his glossy lips around the length of the banana causing the horny insect's genitalia to stir. "Don't leave me hanging, Freeza. If we're discreet about it no one will ever find out."

Against his better judgment the Icejin ignores the nagging worries in his head, he's beyond compromise at that point. "Time moves slowly in this world so I doubt they can actually see what we're doing in real time. So let's make it quick." Freeza finds a spot with maximum cloud coverage and hides behind it, the large insect follows suit as they make themselves comfortable.

 

Meanwhile, on Beerus's planet, Whis stands patiently in the lot while he waits for his two students to train. Suddenly, he senses a familiar energy that surprises him given the time of day it is. "You're up earlier than usual, Beerus-Sama."

Beerus lets out a loud yawn and digs into his large ear with his index finger. "Well, you did say those freeloaders were going to run my bath for me. I'm not exactly smelling like roses, so what's the holdup?"

"They're currently training in the hidden realm. It shouldn't take much longer. You can wait in the bath if you like, Beerus-Sama."

The curious cat looks over Whis's shoulder to get a peek into the foggy portal, "Mind if I...take a look-see?"

"Didn't your mother ever teach you to respect the personal space of other's, my Lord?"

"Keep my mom out of this! Anyway...I get your drift. The last thing I want is for them to think that we're still spying on them. Imagine if that caused them to break up! I couldn't live with myself if those were the consequences of my selfish actions."

"I'm glad you understand, Beerus-Sama. I'll give them 5 more minutes if that's ok with you?"

"Sure, I'll get myself ready for my bath." Beerus walks away leaving the idle angel to quietly wait alone.

 

Back in the hidden dimension, the two wrestle with each others tongue as they embrace passionately. "Let me service you so that we may commence with our training briskly."Cell readily obliges, he adopts a seated position to grant access to his nether region. Freeza crawls between the insect's massive legs and begins to lick up and down the sheath still partially concealing the massive member. The lizard applies his hand and massages the emerging shaft eliciting moans of pleasure from the android.

 "Something about you and this overwhelming cloud of energy... It's making it difficult not to blow my load right now."

"At least be mindful and not do it while my mouth is on you!" Freeza hisses. He lightly kisses the tip before sliding his mouth over the throbbing cock. His mouth stretches and his cheeks swell as he attempts the impossible. It's as if he un henged his jaw like a snake to accommodate his partner's massive girth. The sudden lack of control over his jaw muscles causes him to drool down the androids length. Freeza blushes blue with embarrassment while he actively avoids direct eye contact with the overly stimulated insect.

"You're trying so hard for me, babe. Look at me... I want to encourage you to train harder!" Cell murmurs. Freeza fights to conceal his elusive eyes before finally giving into Cell's whims. He stares up at Cell, his sclera tearing up from the large foreign object rammed down his throat."Ahhhhhh... I don't think I can contain myself for much longer! You....this... mysterious energy surrounding my body. Its invading every cell of my being."

Freeza gargles incoherently as the mass bulge in his throat pushes further. All that's going through his mind is the image of the two deities watching him choke on the android's dick. Suddenly, Cell's entire body starts to glow a multitude of colors, which pique Freeza's interest. "Is he really transforming during fellatio of all things?" He thinks as Cell continues to thrust his penis against the inside of his throat. He closes his eyes and continues to suck on the strange color changing phallus. Cell throws his head back, a clear sign that he could climax at any moment, Freeza knows it's his only chance to bail but ignores the intial warning sign. As the moans grow more erratic the lizard accepts it is too late for him to back out, either he swallows or explains to his teacher why he has cum all over his face. Ultimately he decides to stick to his guns and finish the job, the way he stimulated his lover to transform is enough motivation to keep him going.

Cell thrust one more time into the Icejin's mouth and releases his semen. Freeza winces as he feels the warm sticky fluid run down his throat and coat his esophagus. His gag reflex works overtime to make it stop, but he maintains control over his urge to expel the substance. The insect finally comes down from his intense orgasm and stands up from his seated position. He lets out a spark of energy sending the nauseous lizard drifting in the opposite direction. Freeza lifts himself out of his haze to help guide his friend through his new transformation. He starts to see Cell blinking between a cold metallic grey color and a warm gold color. "Pick that one, will you!" Freeza says when he sees the silverish tone flash.

"Quiet! I need to concentrate to get this right!" Cell closes his eyes and slowly calms his energy down to a controllable level. He reopens his eyes to admire his new transformation.

"Are you serious? A little lick on the willy was enough to encourage you to ascend!?

"What kind of question is that? You should know that everything comes easily to me."

 Freeza studies the new form before giving his opinion,"Silver? A fitting choice. You're always second best after all."

Cell grows frustrated at the flippant downplaying of his newly acquired form."I'm not silver, you imbecile! I'm platinum! The luster is completely different! Only an utter peabrain could not see the magnificence of my physique!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night. We really should get back to our battle."

"I don't think any amount of training can top what you just did, but now that you're full I'm sure we can have a little warm up." Freeza catches the cocky Insect off guard and punches him square in the face, triggering their intense training once more.

"All, right! Time is up!" Whis resummons his staff dropping his worn out students to the ground along with a few banana peels.

Cell stands up on his woozy legs as he tries to readjust to normal gravity. "How long were we in there? It felt like at least a week?"

Approximately 7 minutes. Each minute out here is a day in there, so you're correct in your assessment. Before we get to your next chore, would you like some breakfast?

Freeza holds his mouth in an attempt not to vomit. "I'll pass."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smut scene in this chapter was so impromptu, I hope it's not too noticeable. It's probably the most trashy smut I've ever written, and that's saying a lot coming from me.


	10. I Need To Know

The angel leads the duo to a large hot spring area. Upon entering they are greeted by a grumpy Beerus adorn only in a flimsy towel. "Took you long enough."

Freeza is taken aback when he sees the almighty Lord Beerus in the buff, he would avert his eyes if it wasn't seen as disrespectful. "If you don't mind me asking... How are we to run this hot spring?" Freeza asks.

"You don't. Lord Beerus has requested that you join him for his morning bath."

"Is that so? Well, I must say that I'm honored to join you, Lord Beerus."

"The pleasures all mine,"Beerus replies.

Whis walks over and hands the stunned couple a pair of towels "Right this way, gentlemen." The angel leads the men to the large interior bath area. The bath is decorated with serpentine waterfalls that spew out an endless supply of fresh water.

"I don't get it. What exactly is there to run in here? Cell inquiries.

Whis walks towards the edge to the spring and dips his staff in. The orb glows underwater and emits a pulsating energy, as a result, the pool starts to steam up. "Now it's time for your part, boys. Test the waters out for Lord Beerus, will you?"

"Of course, Whis-Sama." Freeza steps to the edge and proceeds to stick his toe in, he keeps it in for a bit before adding another. The Icejin wades towards the center of the spring while his intrigued partner watches from dry land.

Whis looks over to the insect intently watches over his partner in the spring."Aren't you going to join your friend, Cell?"

The skeptical android crosses his arms in protest."I'm just making sure this isn't some kind of elaborate ruse."

Whis turns to Beerus and giggles."He thinks that you'd have to plot to destroy him, my Lord."

Beerus turns red at the insulation of foul play on his part."What kind of nonsense is that!? Why come up with a convoluted scheme when I could just erase you in an instant?"

The confused insect tilts his head slightly, trying to process what was just uttered. "Come again?"

"Lord Beerus can erase anyone he pleases. Not only will you be erased from this world, but the afterlife as well," Whis says.

"I thought that when he said he'd erase me, he meant to send me back to Hell."

"Well guess what? You thought wrong! Lucky for you I kinda like having you around."

Whis turns his attention back to the Icejin in the hot spring. "How's the water feel?" 

"It feels marvelous, Whis-Sama."

Beerus shifts his eyes over to the slightly shaken android,"Suit yourself. I'm going in." Beerus tosses his towel to the floor that is quickly picked up by the studious angel. Freeza turns his head when he views the unfrocked feline approach the water's edge. He gradually tiptoes his way into the warm hot spring, he then makes his way to a wall and rests his back against it."Ahhh... Nothing like a dip in the hot spring to soothe my aching muscles." Cell walks in and joins Freeza at his side, they both stand awkwardly in the center while The God of destruction lounges against the wall. "Ease up will ya! We're all mortals here...Well in my case, former mortal."Beerus remarks.

Now that the tyrant has The God Of Destruction's full attention, he takes his time to interrogate him for information gathering purposes."Speaking of mortality, Lord Beerus. May I ask, how old you are currently?"

The Hakaishin scratches under his chin while he formulates a succinct response. "Let's just say...I'm older than your race has been sentient."

"That's a long time to have lived, Lord Beerus. What makes you want to give up your precious immortality to a lowly mortal like myself?"

"How do I explain it...After a while you just get bored. I'm quite honestly ready to settle down. You see, after our tenure is up, a former God Of Destruction is able to live up the remainder of their lifespan as an average mortal. In the meantime, imbuing you with God ki will help lengthen your lifespan temporarily for the 1000 years of training necessary to become a Hakaishin. You don't get granted full immortality until you become a god."

The android snickers as he listens to the God and his pupil talk."1000 years of training? That Sounds incredibly boring. I could destroy the entire universe in less time."

"Well, unless something happens to the current God Of Destruction, those are the procedures necessary to ascend to godhood."

"Yes! He's starting to divulge sensitive information. I mustn't make it too obvious what I'm after." Freeza thinks to himself. "Oh?So a Hakaishin's immortality is limited only to the aging process than? So it's entirely possible to kill a God with brute strength alone?"

"Yep, but of course that's far too unlikely of an scenario to even entertain. No mortal in this universe is even close to matching a modicum of my true power," Beerus gloats.

"It's no wonder why you're so powerful. There is no one that dares contest your position."

Beerus scratches his face nervously from Freeza's compliment," Aw, shucks. You're just trying to butter me up now."

"But it's all true... Isn't that right, Cell?"

Cell completely ignores his partners questioning and changes the subject entirely. "Your servant told us you're a fan of my work. What in particular piqued your interest about my performance?"

The feline Blushes as his mind floods with memories of the original uncut Godtv airing of their vacation."Um-Well, I enjoyed... Your chemistry with Freeza was nice!"

"Oh...are you sure that's all you remember? No comments on my sexual prowess?" Freeza smacks Cell in the head causing the two villains to erupt into loud bickering."What was that for?! It's not like he doesn't know already!"

"It's not appropriate subject matter to bring up around The God Of Destruction Beerus-Sama!"

Beerus quickly gets annoyed as the squabbling becomes overbearing. "SHUT UP!!!" The two stare blankly at Beerus. "There's no reason to argue. I didn't even get to see the scenes you're referring to. Godtv and Godtube censored all the risque content from their broadcast."Freeza and Cell let out a collective sigh of relief.

Whis eavesdrops into their conversation as he watches near the hot spring."Nice save, Beerus-Sama."

"Think I soaked long enough. You two can stay in here as long as you like." Beerus walks over to the edge of the spring to fetch his towel, he wraps it around his waist and vacates the premises.

Freeza gets a much-needed breather knowing that Beerus is now far from earshot of them."At least we now know that he didn't see our embarrassing sexual liaison in Hell. I also gathered some rather useful tidbits today, but I still need to discover the source of a Hakaishins immortality. If it isn't god ki, then what is it?"

"You're overthinking things, just chill out for a moment," Cell says. He grabs the tiny Icejin in his lap and lays his chin against his shoulder. The warm embrace lets them put their guard down. They close their eyes as they ruminate in each others presence.

Whis pulls out a camera and snaps a quick photo of the couple cuddling in the hot spring. "Beerus is going to love this!"

Later that night as the couple rest in their combined bed, Freeza remains restless desperately trying to find a comfortable sleeping position. He's in between his sleeping partners firm hug making it difficult for him to have any wiggle room. Freeza flattens his body and attempts to slither his way from Cell's grasp. After finally freeing himself he gives a quick look at the insect to see if he'd budged any." Look like the termite is still fast asleep. Now is a prime scenario to collect more valuable intel."

The lizard exits his room and makes his way down the long spiraling staircase. He carefully studies each hallway as he wanders aimlessly through the large castle. Eventually, he stumbled upon a point of interest. It is an open door with a bright light emitting from it. Freeza curiously sneaks over to examine the room, inside he sees Whis tinkering away in a large room full of antique clocks. Freeza stares in awe at bizarre forms of timekeeping on display. "Are you impressed? I gathered this whole collection myself you know. After a millennia of traveling to other planets, I always made sure to take a souvenir back with me."

Freeza wanders into the room after being spotted by the blue angel,"Yes, it's rather splendid, Whis-Sama. Mind divulging to me your favorite piece?" Freeza says pretending to take an interest in the angel's obsessive hobby.

"That's hard to say considering they're all so unique in their own way... Take this one for example." Whis grabs an odd looking object from the top shelf, it's a simple metal hoop with a grey leathery material attached to it." This one comes from a planet Beerus destroyed millions of years ago. I know this may sound morbid, but the primitive inhabitants use to record the passage of time with their deceased ancestor's skin. Specialized light-sensitive cells on the skin made it possible to distinguish the time of day with it... Now it sits forever as a time capsule of a defunct race that time forgot." Whis places the item back in its original spot before giving it a light dusting with his feather brush. "But if you ask me, nothing beats the tried and true hourglass."

"I see... Very enlightening, Whis-Sama."

"Since you're here, mind lending me a hand?" Whis throws a spare feather duster to the confused alien. Freeza examines the duster for a second before walking to a nearby shelf to clean. A cursory glance reveals not a hint of residue on the pristine clocks.

"What exactly are we cleaning for? There's not a speck of dust to be found here."

"That's precisely why I keep on top of things before it gets too messy."

"I see... So as someone who is in line to be the next God Of Destruction, I must ask... What is it that makes a Hakaishins power so unique compared to that of an ordinary mortal?"

"Hmm... While it's correct that a Hakaishin's power is unparalleled compared to any known mortal in our universe, in other universe's their are those rare few that have surpassed their given God Of Destruction. Although Beerus's power is undisputed there are gods with an aura of identical feelings to Beerus-sama's."

Freeza halts his dusting to press Whis for answers. "Identical... feelings?"

"Why yes, there is more to an aura then just power, emotions play a major part in one's strength. That link is the Key to a Hakashins power, without it he's no better than a mortal."

"Interesting... so all that touchy-feely trash turns out to be useful for something.

Whis turns to Freeza and smiles. "Creation and destruction go hand in hand. You can't have one without the other." Freeza sighs before commencing his late night dusting with his teacher.

A month later, Freeza and Cell are up to their usual routine of sparing on the castle grounds. They exchange blows as Beerus watches at a safe distance on his lawn chair. "Whis! Refill my lemonade please?" Beerus holds out his cup and waits impatiently for the attentive angel to appear. "Unusual for him not to be at my beckon call. What gives? I'm thirsty over here!" He twirls a straw in his mouth before biting through it completely. Whis finally appears and frantically rushes over it assist the bratty feline.

"My apologies, Lord Beerus. I'm super busy today with errands."

Beerus's tall ears perk up in response,"What do you mean errands?"

"Don't you remember? The food audit is today, my Lord."

Beerus slaps his paw against his face." Damn it, how could I forget the food audit and all the delicious take out you're going to bring me!"The cat starts to salivate at all the delectable morsels he was going to be treated to. "Forget about the lemonade! Fetch me some heavenly nom-nom!"

"In due time, my Lord...Speaking of, I've been meaning to ask you boys for a little favor." Freeza and Cell stop what they're doing and rush over to hear what Whis has to say. "I'm very busy with errands today, mind helping me out with something?"

"Sure, Whis-Sama. What is it?" The Icejin ask.

"I'm going to need you and Cell to pick up a few things for me on Earth. I would go myself, but I have 30 other planets to visit. I thought that since you two are familiar enough with the planet you'd feel comfortable going there."

Freeza is deep in thought as he listens to the angel explain their mission to Earth. "Earth...Why that godforsaken hellhole of all places!? The only time I want to see that accursed blue marble is the moments prior to me reducing it to space dust!" Freeza's initial thoughts simmer down when he realizes the possible treasure-trove of data he could gather on Earth, " The Saiyan monkeys spent far more time with Beerus then I have. It's entirely plausible that they have information on him that I don't. That Imbecilic ape can't keep a secret to save his life! As much as I hate to admit it, he may be my best shot at finding out the secrets of Hakaishin immortality." Freeza continues grinning on the outside even though his internal thoughts were conflicted, eventually, the dissonance fades. "Of course, Whis-Sama."


	11. I Hate You

 

The three intrepid travelers land in front of Capsule Corp headquarters terrifying passersby's. Upon making it to Earth, the White-haired angel passes on a list of food items for his students to pick up. "Since we're all acquainted with this building, It'll be our meeting point. Unfortunately, Bulma's out of town for the week, so that'll be its only use. Luckily for us, she gave me this list of restaurants that serve exquisite cuisine."

Freeza and Cell skim over the list with a fine tooth comb. "How long do you surmise we'll be stuck here for?" Freeza ask.

"4 hours at most, so take in the sights and enjoy yourselves. This is a beautiful planet after all."

Freeza attempts to appear enthusiastic given the circumstance."At least it'll give me ample time to extract the data I need from that pitiful primate," He thinks to himself. After mulling over his thoughts, he exits his inner monologue."Don't worry about us. We shall surely discover boundless amusement on this illustrious planet." The angel taps his staff twice and is whist off in a brilliant beam of light leaving the two villains time to plot their next course of action."Now to locate that idiot Goku."

"Right now? What about all the boring grocery shopping that needs to be done?" Cell ask.

"That can wait, we have more pertinent matters to tend to." They get ready to take off when suddenly, the android's ear catches a loud scream coming from his left side.

"OH, MY GOD! IT'S CELL!" The terrified pedestrian cries.

Freeza points over to the shaken human, "Seems you have an admirer of your previous work. Look at him cower, I can only imagine the carnage you inflicted on him."

Seeing that his lover is impressed, Cell places his palm out and aims it directly at trembling Earthling. "No need for applause, my good sir. I can assure you that your long-awaited encore has finally arrived!"

The man starts to cry as Cell stares him down." PLEASE! SAVE US, MR.SATAN!"

"He's expelling fluids now and considering the look on his face probably not just from his eyeballs. I do love to see weaklings quake in fear. It's a real shame that I never got the chance to cultivate my own fearsome reputation on this despicable planet."

Cell steps forward, the calmness in his demeanor is now negligible. The large insect's shadow eclipses the fearful human's who falls to his knees begging for mercy. "Mr. Satan? I've heard of that putrid sack of crap before. It appears as though my good name has been irreparably besmirched on this planet! I Knew I should have eliminated that insignificant pest when I had the chance!"

Freeza tugs at Cell's arm to get him to back away from the conflict. "As much as I find this all rather amusing, I'm afraid we have bigger fish to fry than some Earthling commoner. Let's go already!"

Cell complies, but not before issuing a warning of his own." My performance isn't over yet. I'll be back, and when I do, I'm coming for you and your precious, Mr. Satan!" The villains fly off leaving the terrified man trembling in fear.

Two supersonic streaks wiz through the sky at a breakneck pace. Despite the high-speed travel, they attempt to strategize on route to their destination."Any idea how we're going to find Goku?"

"Saiyan monkeys like nothing more than to fight, so we just have to locate his power level. I'm fairly new at it myself, perhaps we'll get more accurate results if you try."

Cell closes his eyes and skims through his memory bank and pulls up Goku unique ki signature. "Hmph, looks like you're on the money, In fact, he appears to be training not too far from here."

Freeza attempts to steady his breathing in preparation for the inevitable confrontation with his nemesis."Trust me... I know it will be difficult, but please make an attempt to be civil."

"I make no promises." They fastly approach the deserted outskirts where the Saiyan's energy was detected minutes earlier. "There he is", Cell says as they fly by the tiny figure in the distance. The pair makes their descent, touching down behind a rocky outcrop to strategize their approach.

"After our battle together, the monkey and I have developed a rather jovial rapport, we could use it to gain his trust. So, let me do all the talking."

Cell rolls his eyes."How about instead of hiding behind this rock like a lovestruck schoolgirl, you go over there and show me?"

The Icejin hisses before he starts marching in the direction of Goku. Cell stays back and chuckles at his companions sudden hissyfit. Meanwhile, the battle-hungry Saiyan is practicing his martial arts technique, making sure his form is in peak condition. He strikes at the air with his fist, following it up with a stomp with the corresponding foot. He remains in that pose for a few seconds before realizing that his punch is aimed at someone coming closer. Upon studying the distinctive silhouette of the intruder he lowers his guard. Goku smiles when he recognizes the person as none other than the emperor of the universe himself."Freeza! I wasn't expecting to see you around here!"

"Neither was I," the crotchety Icejin replies sarcastically. Seeing that the coast is clear, Cell flies over to take up his usual spot at the tyrant's side.

"Hey, Cell! What are you doing here anyway? Is Lord Beerus with you? Don't tell me he's hungry again?"

"Quite the contrary. We were sent here to assist Whis with his errands that just so happened to involve food...But while we're on the subject of Lord Beerus. Have you ever inflicted bodily injury to him during a fight?" Freeza ask.

Goku scratches his head while he desperately tries to recall a time he actually caused harm to the Hakaishin. "Nope... Well, I did bite his tail once. It's a start, right?" He erupts into laughter while Freeza starts to question why he even bothered to engage with the thick-headed ape.

Freeza quickly becomes agitated as the Saiyan continues to play coy with his questioning. "Has he at least mentioned a situation in which he was in grave peril?"

"Uh...I don't know...He's kinda a guarded guy, so I doubt he'd ever tell me something like that."

Cell, waspish from the lack of progression uses the moment to speak up. "Tell us what you know about the blasted cat already!"

"I honestly don't know anything. If you have questions for him, why not ask him yourself?"

Cell extends his arm out causing Goku to adopt a combative stance. In response to the outburst, Freeza's tail curls around Cell's arm and maneuvers him away from the bewildered Saiyan. "I need to have a word with you, Cell. Please, excuse us." They walk back over to the rocky outcrop to proceed with their loud bickering."I explicitly told you to mind your manners! Do you want us to get permanently erased from this realm of existence?!"

"Anything is more palatable than that inane excuse for a conversation you two were having back there! Honestly, your data collecting skills are piss poor. You have to take a more direct approach if you ever hope to get what you want out of that numbskull."

"Your direct approach is liable to get us both killed!" Freeza retorts.

"Freeza..." The tyrant slowly turns around and sees the nervous Saiyan standing behind them. "Look... Sorry, I don't have the answers about Beerus's strength you're looking for...but since you're here I just wanted to apologize. It was wrong of me to bring up...you know."

Freeza's quickly turns away from the mournful monkey. "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

Cell scratches under his chin."Hm, I see now... So it really was you talking to us in that simulation. How much did you see?"

"Nothing, I swear! All I saw was Freeza pregnant. I didn't actually see you do the thing I do with Chichi and Vegeta."

Cell and Freeza stare back at Goku slack-jawed after hearing the damning revelation he unknowingly exposed. Cell finally speaks after the 5-second delay in communication."Excuse me? Did you just say, Vegeta?"

"Yeah, I mean... Vegeta lets me stick it in his butt all the time, but a baby never comes out. At first, I was confused about how you two could make a baby together since you're both guys, but Vegeta explained everything to me."

Cell leans down and whispers in Freeza's ear." This is getting interesting. Perhaps we should play along? We could use this opportunity to ascertain information from him."

The blood in Freeza's face drains when he realizes what his partner is implying."No way in hell are we going to fornicate with that filthy simian. I simply will not allow it!"

"If I can't take his life, I'll have to find other means to destroy him. So either he gets fucked, you get fucked, or this entire planet is fucked. It's your choice."

Freeza angrily stomps his foot when Cell disobeys his order. "I swear to god, if you fraternize with that deplorable ape, we are so through!"

Cell pauses for a moment to think over the potential consequence for his actions. He smirks slyly before giving his reply. "You'll thank me later." The android turns his back on the spurned lizard and directs his full attention to Goku."Have you taken it up the ass or not?"

Goku blushes when parsed about his sexual experience. "Heh heh... Only once or twice. Vegeta likes me to stick it in more than the other way around. I like making him happy, but sometimes I wanna to have my turn."

Cell's grin grows wider when he gleans a hint of receptiveness from the awkward Saiyan."Well, today's your lucky day, I just so happen to be equipped to help you with your quandary. Although I must warn you, I'm far larger than whatever that impotent pipsqueak Vegeta is packing."

Goku scratches his head once again in sheer Befuddlement. "I'm really confused... You're always naked, and I never seen it before. I always thought you didn't have one." A few feet away, the grumpy galactic tyrant perches himself on a boulder and observes the two longtime enemies chat about sex. Seething with unbridled anger but too paralyzed to do anything about it. Despite it all, he subconsciously holds out a slither of hope that his partner will respect his wishes. Those hopes are instantly dashed when Cell's penis start to emerge from its sheath. The narrow crevice going down the insect's groin splits open allowing the appendage to slide outward. The rapacious android grabs Goku by the wrist and guides his hand over to his semi-erect member. Fascinated with the new discovery, Goku starts to gently stroke it, tracing his fingers over the protruding veins on its surface. Cell grunts as he feels the rough callused hands graze against his sensitive sexual organ. "Wow, I never would have guessed you had all this hiding in there. It's a lot bigger than Vegeta's."

Cell smirks with amusement watching the mesmerized simpleton play with his dick. "Do you want this inside of you?"

As Goku continues massaging he notices it's size growing within his hand, he finally diverts focus back to the android's face and returns a smug smirk of his own."I'm always looking for a new challenge." Cell takes that as his cue to go in for a kiss. He locks lips with the startled Saiyan, applying his tongue to his enemies awaiting mouth.

The insect hand creeps below Goku's waistband, he tugs at the shorter man's bulge causing his voice to hitch. "Hmph, I bet your screams sound lovely." Cell tosses Goku to the ground and hurries to pull his orange training gi down his leg, he then returns back to kissing while Goku's back is pressed against the gravelly ground. Freeza's anger blends with feelings of arousal while viewing the two people he loathed the most make out in front of his eyes. He's unsure who he should be more jealous of at that moment. Cell takes his finger and sticks it into Goku's ass, the Saiyan winces a bit when another digit is applied, and then another. Once the android is satisfied enough he places his massive throbbing cock against Goku's prepped hole. He thrust in fast causing an instant reaction from the spiky-haired hero, the android then grabs Goku by the legs and jackhammers his dick into his body mercilessly. The Saiyan feels his asshole getting stretched beyond its limits by the android's enormous girth. Cell's strokes are erratic and haphazard, he takes no care of his enemy's comfort level in the slightest. "Hmph, you're lucky my genitalia is naturally lubricated or you'd be in a world of suffering right now."

Goku screams so profusely that Freeza starts to worry about the attention it might draw to their location. The lizard leaps off the rock and rushes over to reprimand them."Your so-called interrogation method is too noisy. You're going to draw attention to our location!'"

Cell shifts his glance over to Freeza while he continues to mount Goku. "If you want to join, all you have to do is ask."

"You're out of your mind if you think I'd join in on your puke inducing activity!"

"Ahhh...Ahhhh! You should join us, Freeza! It's fun!" Goku's moans grow louder when Cell thrust harder into him. The Icejin becomes even more uncomfortable, his own erection starts to reveal itself from the sensory stimuli. Cell notices the purple appendage slithering between the prudish Icejin's toned legs and chuckles.

"This has nothing to do with that disgusting ape, ok!"

"Sure, whatever you say. Just an FYI, you don't have to wait in line, this ride isn't at full capacity yet. There's still have time to get on if you like." Freeza witnesses the green bug's retractable tail emerge from his back, upon seeing it the tyrant reflexively jumps back in horror.

"You're not putting that thing in me!"

"I only told you that to scare you, "Cell replies. The space lizard grits his teeth before climbing on top of Goku's body."All aboard!"

"Shut up!" Freeza hisses. The wary Icejin lays on his stomach to grant easy access to his cloaca, unfortunately for him it brings him face to face with the amorous Saiyan. Freeza can see his archenemy's lips quivering as Cell continues to thrust into his body. The tyrant is transfixed on every tactile sensation he's experiencing. From Goku's sweat-soaked shirt tangled between his fingers, to the way his body rocks beneath him as he is fucked mercilessly. In that instant, the Icejin wants nothing more than to kiss him. His concentration is diverted when he feels the thick, plug-like tail enter him from behind as he lay atop Goku's trembling chest. It isn't long before Freeza's moans catch pace prompting an unexpected response from the low-class warrior. Goku grabs Freeza's face and brings him in for a passionate kiss. The alien's eyes instantly light up from the surprise sensation. In the midst of their makeout session, Cell works overtime to simultaneously pleasure them. Out of the blue, the Icejin breaks from his trance. He's inexplicably hit by a sobering realization, prompting his cloacal walls to collapse on Cell's tail. The android recoils in pain and pulls out of them both instantaneously. Freeza can tell that his partner is beyond furious with him, but what he can not fathom is the abomination that would result if Goku somehow got pregnant by Cell.

"DAMN YOU!" Cell yells in a fit of rage. Freeza lowers himself off of Goku's body and stammers over to finish his partner off. He rides the agitated android until he quickly reaches orgasm. He lifts himself off the tired insect's cock, his thick thighs dripping with globs of seminal fluid, he then makes a mad dash to the exhausted Saiyan. No attempt is made to clean himself off, instead, he relishes the idea of sullying the body of his foe. Freeza lifts his leg over Goku and straddles him, his prehensile penis unfurls from his cloacal opening and wraps itself around Goku's.

"Freeza! You have one too?!" Goku says in shock.

He takes his hand and places it over Goku's mouth to shut him up. His penis corkscrews around the Saiyan's and works its way up and down his shaft. The moistness from his labored breath lingers on the palms of his ivory hands. The sticky oils of the Saiyans mammalian skin congeal under his parched lizard hide, it's as though they're one and the same."Ahhhhhh...Damn it all! I shouldn't be made to feel this way because of you! "Freeza rocks back and forth rhythmically as the erect penis enters his vaginal canal. Goku embraces the warmth and tightness constricting around him, it's something so familiar yet so alien to him. He grabs hold of the Icejin's hips and thrust rapidly into his sensitive pussy hole. The Icejin releases his hold on Goku's mouth and lets his arms rest at his side. The tyrant tilts his neck back, he could feel a strong orgasm brewing within his body.

"Vegeta was right, you have one of these too! It feels amazin!"

Goku is caught off guard when he glimpses Cell kneeling beside Freeza as they're in the middle of fucking. Cell grabs Freeza's face and smothers him in kisses. The overstimulation becomes too much for the tyrant to take, he feels his internal chemistry going haywire. The android sticks his tongue into his mouth but Freeza is too zoned out to reciprocate."GOKU!" Freeza screams as he finally reaches climax. Goku continues to work Freeza's hips up and down his dick until he eventually cums as well.

The space lizard stares up into the sky in a bizarre daze, his body not moving an inch since he came down from his intense orgasm. "Freeza! What's wrong?!" Cell says with a hint of concern.

"M-my body...it...I can't believe I just..."

"Thanks to me you got to live out your fantasy. You looked like you really enjoying yourself," Cell gloats.

"That was amazing, Freeza!" Goku reaches over and hugs the frazzled extraterrestrial. The Icejin is so dazed he doesn't even attempt his usual standoffish antics. The Saiyan holds Freeza tightly to his chest and treasures their unusual closeness, concurrently, Cell oversees the loving scene before breaking it up.

"Alright, that's enough!" The android lifts Freeza off of Goku's lap and stands him up on the ground. Goku, now free from Freeza's body weight, hurries to grab his pants and redress himself.

"Wow, what an experience! It's ashamed Vegeta wasn't around, we could have had a lot of fun together... Although, I'm not sure how he will feel about me having sex with you guys."

"It's his loss...anyway I've lost interest in continuing this banal conversation with you, Goku. If I'm not fucking or fighting you're not worth my time honestly." Freeza starts hyperventilating triggering his partner to check up on his well-being. Cell becomes flustered at his partner's audacious display of overacting, he grabs hold of the small Icejin's shoulders and shakes him."Snap out of it! You take dick bigger than that on a nightly basis."

Freeza's cheeks stain blue, his mouth agape allowing puddles of drool to trickle down the sides of his glossy lips."Something about that monkey...I"

After Goku straightens himself up he leaps over to capture their undivided attention."Oh! I just remembered there's something important about being a God Of Destruction that I wanted to tell you. Whis told me about it, Beerus didn't seem too happy about it though."

The sluggish Icejin's lost energy instantly replenishes itself when he hears Goku utter his words, "Go on..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Threesomes are hard af to write.


	12. Three Is A Crowd

Goku gestures for Freeza and Cell to come in closer," Before the tournament, Whis told me something about Beerus and The Supreme Kai."

Freeza swishes his tail around in the dirt as he tries to recollect his thoughts,"The Supreme Kai, you say?"

"Yea, I'm sure you met him before. Short guy, pointy ears?"

"Ah yes, I do recall seeing him around Lord Beerus... So, what about him?"

Out of nowhere, Goku leans into Freeza with his eyes wide open, the sudden jolt startling the Icejin."Hey! I got an idea! How bout I take you to my favorite spot to eat! Chichi gave me my monthly allowance, so don't worry, I gotcha covered!"

The Android proceeds to turn his nose up at the bright-eyed Saiyan in contempt. "A grown man, having to get allowance money from his wife? You sure know how to pick em, Freeza." 

Freeza's skin boils in response to the Saiyan's aggravatingly low attention span, "Oh, no you don't! You're not going to misdirect this conversation! So I'd implore you to remain discursive or I'll..." Freeza pauses, he suddenly remembers there's nothing he can do to Goku in his current predicament.

"Well you're just going to have to come with me if you want to find out," Goku replies with a smile.

Freeze seethes, his calm demeanor reduced to a venomous scowl."You're really trying my patience...but fine, you better explain yourself when we get there."

"Sure, not a problem. I'm going to need you both to grab on, ok." Freeza's face contorts in disgust, his tiny hand hovers next to Goku's shoulder. Cell rest his hand firmly on the Saiyan's opposite shoulder, observing his indecisive partner struggle to make up his mind.

"Oh come on, you were dancing on his dick a few minutes ago. Why the shy act all of a sudden?" Cell mocks. Freeza sneers before he lays his hand on Goku's shoulder. The hero places two fingers up to his forehead and vanishes. In an instant, they are teleported to the city. It's a sunny afternoon and all the restaurant and street vendors are packed with customers. As soon they arrive, groups of people erupt into terror at the sight of Perfect Cell. Immediately the crowd vacates their chairs and take off into the streets.

"Wow, I didn't know you had so many fans!"

Cell lets go of Goku's shoulder and cross his arms."Hmph, You're really that surprised, after what I did to this city?"

Goku approaches the colorfully decorated stand and proceeds to order his food. "Can I have 3 triple deluxe sundaes! Extra sprinkles on mine please!"

"I should have guessed this idiot's favorite place to eat serves nothing but sugary junk food," Cell mocks.

The vendor flashes a wide grin at Goku."Of course, sir! That'll be-" The cashier suddenly drops a stack of cups he was holding onto the ground. In terror, he points at the large insect standing behind the miffed warrior." Y-you know whose standing behind you right now?!"

"Oh... You mean, Cell? He's with me. I promise he's not going cause any trouble."

The vendor gasps before going back to retrieve their sundaes. Goku reaches for his Zeni but instead has the sundaes shoved in his face. "But I was gonna..."

"Take it! Free of charge!" The overly excited man says while pushing the food at Goku.

"You hear that guys?! Free of charge!" Goku promptly hands the villain's their respective sundaes and searches for a place to sit. The three spots a table with a red and white striped umbrella over it."Over there looks nice!" They go to the table and take a seat. Without haste, Goku takes his spoon and scoops away at his sundae until nothing is left. "Ahhh, nothing like a cold ice cream sundae after a hard day of training!" Cell already gobbled his down, but Freeza on the other hand just stares at his bowl in confusion. "Freeza, aren't you going to eat your ice cream? Here, I'll help." Goku scoops a bit from Freeza's bowl and brings the spoon up to the Icejin's mouth."Try it, I promise it's good!" The Icejin pulls back from the spoon with his tongue out in disgust. Cell steps in and slaps the spoon out of Goku's hand sending it flying across the outdoor dining area.

"Don't feed him that, you fool! He can't digest lactose!"

Freeza's irritated face becomes one of discomfort, he clutches at his side in undeniable pain. His pathetic attempt to hide his suffering falters as the entire table takes notice. "Are you ok, Freeza! Does your tummy ache?" Goku says.

"His stomach probably hurts because you tried to force feed him dairy!" Cell rebukes.

"This has nothing to do with that disgusting bovine extract! I just want Goku to get to the point already!" 

Goku puts his spoon down, he looks over to give the temperamental tyrant his assurance. "Hehehe...Sorry, I was so into my ice cream I nearly forgot. So get this, it turns out the God Of Destruction and The Supreme Kai are connected. Basically, If you kill one, you kill the other. Pretty insane, right?"

Freeza shakes head in tacit agreement while he secretly celebrates in his head."Yes! That's all the information I needed to know. Who would have thought that a weakling like The Supreme Kai is the only thing standing between myself and Godhood!"After consulting with himself he adds his thoughts to the conversation." That seems rather risky. I wonder what precautions he has in place to prevent such a thing from transpiring."

"Beats me... I don't recall The Supreme Kai ever needing protection. He lives in the land of the Kai's like all the others do."

"Land of the Kai's you say-" Freeza is cut off by another excruciating pang in his side, he curls up in a near fetal position in his chair.

"Freeza! Are you ok?" Goku reaches over to pull the sick alien onto his lap but is stopped by the overprotective insect. The angsty android tugs the little lizard away from his grasp.

"Why don't you go bother your own woman!" Cell yells in anger.

"Woman? Oh, you mean Chichi? Speaking of, it's getting late, good thing Chichi reminded me to wear my watch today." Goku pulls down one of his navy wristbands revealing a watch." Holy crap! It's later than I thought! I really should be getting back for dinner! Are you sure you don't need any help around the city?"

"We are fine, thank you! Now go off to your woman and leave us in peace,"Cell snarls

"Alright, it's been a blast! We definitely have to do it again sometime."

"I can assure you there isn't going to be a "next" time. Now, away with you!"The Icejin shoos Goku away but the rambunctious Saiyan grabs the small Icejin hand instead. Freeza blushes, he then proceeds to move his arm up and down to convert the awkward hand-holding into a handshake.

"Bye, Freeza! Goodbye, Cell! If you need any help, you know where to find me!" In an instance the Saiyan is zapped off to his home, leaving the two villains alone again.

"Ohohoho, now that the idiots out of the way, I can finally plot my ascension to godhood!" Freeza's triumphant tirade is cut off by another sharp throbbing pain in his side. Cell grabs the fragile Icejin in his arms before he could collapse to the ground.

"Save the victory speech for when we actually complete the mission." Cell holds his two fingers to his forehead and zaps them to the main street of the city.

"You never told me you knew instant transmission?"Freeza says in shock while he marvels at the sudden shift in scenery.

"To be honest, I forgot until your Saiyan Boytoy jogged my memory."

"Hmph, I'll let your infantile joke slide this time. The fact that you have teleportation will make you of much use to me."

"Well as much as I'd like to fixate on your pipedream, we still have orders to pick up." A few hours after finishing up with Whis's errands they head back to their rendezvous point. The baddies fly high above the city's skyline to avoid run-ins with petrified pedestrians."Hmph, I wasn't even the one who did the shopping yet I'm still left holding the bags,"Cell scoffs.

"We had to avoid any more mishaps with those annoying Earthlings, that's why I had you remain out of sight. Consider yourself lucky you didn't have to exchange pleasantries with those puerile troglodytes down there."

With Capsule Corp now in sight they make their slow descent downwards towards the city. "I wonder what's taking Whis so long?" Cell ask. It's then that he catches at the corner of his eyes a father and son walk out of a store a few blocks away from Bulma's house. Cell sees red when he witnesses the older gentleman pull out a toy resembling his likeness.

"Rwrrrr! I'm the evil diabolical Bugman, and I'm going to destroy this puny city!" He then pulls out another toy of a mustachioed man in a karate gi. "Looks like this is a job for, Mr. Satan!"

The young boy shakes his head in disapproval before reaching for his own action figure. "No need to fear, the great Saiyaman is here!"

The father snatches the Saiyaman action figure from the boy. "No son, they're not even from the same franchise..." The father pauses in his tracks when he sees the trembling hand of his son pointing at his back.

"Bugman!" The little boy repeats as he observes a large creature looming behind his father.

"You better not be up to something... " The man slowly turns his head only to witness large magenta eyes staring back at him. He looks on in terror as the large insect comes uncomfortably close to his face. After a few seconds, the look of dread fades into that of intrigue." Wow! That's a very realistic costume! Sure had me fooled." The curious man reaches out to touch Cell's leathery chest, the more he feels around the more disconcerting his expression becomes. Without warning, Cell reaches for the man's throat and hoists him into the air with one hand. With his other hand, the Android snatches the action figure out of the human's hand. Meanwhile, his son watches on in horror while his father struggles to breathe under the crushing weight of Cell's grip.

"Are you responsible for this desecration of my image!? The jawline is meager, my muscles are near nonexistent, and what is with this strange leopard print pattern on my skin!? Don't even get me started on the articulation!"

" I-It wasn't me, I swear! It's just a toy I bought for my son!"

"From where!?" Cell says with a demanding tone.

"T-That store over there!" The frighten man says while pointing over to a small toy shop across the street.

After watching the scene from Capsule Corp Freeza abandons the groceries to investigate the disturbance. "Stop causing trouble, will you! Whis will be here at any second!"

"I don't care! I'm getting to the bottom of this!" Cell throws the man to the ground, as soon as he touches down him and his son scatter onto the streets.

A minute later the door to the shop is kicked open, to the surprise of the shopkeep in walks Freeza and Cell."No one told me the promotional mascot was in today."Cell places the mangled action figure in front of the shocked man's eyes.

"Where can I find one of these?"

"On that shelf behind you."

Cell looks back in disgust as he eyes hundreds of packaged paraphernalia bearing his image. He places his hand out and casually fires at the display creating a massive hole in the side of the building. The merchant starts to back away before being accosted by the enraged insect. He holds the man by his shirt and drags him outside."Are you the one responsible for this blatant abomination!?"

"No! Of course not, I'm just the retailer! It's Mr. Satan, his people are the one you're after!"

"There goes that accursed name again! That's it! Someone's going to have to pay for this mockery!"

The man waves his arms out as he pleads for the android to spare his life."Y-You don't have to do this, I can give you his number!" Just then, a swift jab is delivered to Cell's nape knocking him out cold, but before his body can hit the floor he is captured by a blue aura causing him to float up.

Whis walks over to Freeza while dragging the hovering android behind him."My, you boys always find a way to make trouble for yourselves. I hope you know that Lord Beerus will be none too happy to find out you left his food unattended."

Freeza bows in reverence to Whis,"My sincerest apologise, Whis-Sama. I was attempting to control that brute before he caused any major casualties."

"It's no big deal, It's not like anything was stolen. As for your buddy here, lets just let him remain in dreamland until we get back home."

 

Later that night the Android finally awakens to find himself lying next to his partner in their bed."Ugh, how did I get here?"

"Well, you did start terrorizing a group of Earthlings over a plastic trinket made for small children."

Cell scratches the back of his crown,"Did I at least kill one of them?"

"Unfortunately no, Whis-Sama intervened before you had the chance."

"Damnit! Not destroying Goku is one thing, but I can't even kill a measly human meatbag!" Freeza laughs under his breath before the intense pain in his side starts to radiate throughout his body. The android pulls Freeza in tighter. "I've been meaning to ask...How you're feeling?"

The tyrant lets out an audible sigh. "Yes, about that...As odd as it may sound... I'm expecting."

"What!? How did that happen? Your belly isn't swollen."

Freeza hesitates a bit before responding,"No, That's not it at all....I-I was...induced into ovulation. When the monkey and I were in the middle of coitus it just happened, and I lacked the wherewithal to stop it."

Cell's previous concern quickly evaporates,"Oh, well you never did that for me. Even that thing you did when you wrapped your penis around his, never did that to me."

"You were kissing me when it happened! Don't act like it was all him!" Freeza snaps.

"Well excuse me for being a little concerned when I hear that my partner is carrying another man's child. I'm starting to believe you actually love him."

Freeza puts his hands up to his mouth and gasp," You're jealous, aren't you!? It almost sounds like you...love me!"

"Don't get the wrong idea. I see this situation as nothing more than my property being tarnished."

"Oh, so if you see me as your property? Now that I've been debased are you just going to throw me away!?

Cell leans in and plants kiss on Freeza's forehead. "I was the one that initiated sex with Goku, I take full responsibility for its aftermath." The tyrant is in utter shock at the uncharacteristically mature sentiment coming from his lover, he nestles his head into the insects soft, ample chest. "How long before you lay the egg?"

"Around 6 months."

"Hm, I was expecting your gestation to be longer than that given your prolonged incubation period. So anyway, now that we have enough information on how to destroy Beerus, shouldn't we get started on hunting him down?"

Freeza wraps his arms around Cell's neck to bring their faces closer together, "Save it for later."


	13. Unforgivable

For their last few months in the God realm the villains decide that it's best to lay low. While Cell tries to locate the faint energy of the Supreme Kai, Freeza attempts to further his training with Whis before inevitably returning back to his post. The two students struggle to catch their breath after failing to hit their nimble master. What started off as a routine sparing match takes an unexpected turn when they see Beerus make his approach.

Freeza instinctively bows in the presence of The God Of Destruction, "Beerus-Sama!"

Beerus shoots a look of contempt in the direction of the well-mannered lizard."Why yes, I know my own name...but I'm not here to chit-chat if that's what you're thinking."

"Lord Beerus is here to train with you today," Whis explains. Freeza fights to contain his excitement, It's his first time fighting the powerful Hakaishin and he wants to get as much out of it as he possibly can. Beerus lets out a loud drawn out yawn while he stares down his two startled students.

"I don't have all day. Are you going to attack me or not!?"

Cell looks over to Freeza with a slightly concerned look, "Are you sure we can take him yet?"

"If you're too afraid you can sit this one out," Freeza playfully mocks.

"Not on your life!" Cell starts to charge up his aura and Freeza follows suit. A platinum sheen encompasses his once green armor plating. The metallic visage is accented with blue God ki flaring up from its borders. Once satisfied with their transformations, they launch a twin assault on the indifferent God. Freeza fires off a few rounds of finger beams that are easily evaded. Cell suddenly teleports behind Beerus, he allows the beams to ricochet off his strong forearms and flings them in his master's direction. Beerus yawns again before lowering his upper body forward allowing the beams to fly over his back towards Freeza.

"I'm going to have to come up with a new strategy, this teamwork thing isn't working." Freeza thinks while he effortlessly dodges his own friendly fire. Cell lands back on his feet earnestly awaiting his next cue, instead, he witnesses the golden lizard recklessly swinging at the Hakaishin.

"What does he think he's doing? Doesn't he know we're going to have to combine our efforts to even hope to land an attack on him?" Cell thinks to himself.

Golden Freeza haphazardly throws a flurry of punches at Beerus's head, the feline easily dodges and grabs him by the arm. "Hmm... You seem to think raw strength is all that necessitates the power of a God, let me rectify your error." Beerus flips Freeza over onto his back in an arm lock, the gold lizard wriggles on the ground in panic. In response to his confinement, the tyrant flares his aura up more. "Now all you're doing is wasting your energy and my time. I'd suggest coming up with a better strategy than that." Out of nowhere, Platinum Cell chucks an energy ball at Beerus as he still maintains his hold on the helpless Icejin. Beerus extends his free hand out, a glowing purple orb forms above it. The ki blast makes contact with the destructive energy and neutralizes on impact, Beerus then shifts his sharp eyes over at Cell, "Stay out of this."

 

Freeza uses the brief distraction to wrap his powerful tail around his master, "I got you now!"

Beerus watches as his body is slowly crushed by the Icejin's python-like grip."Likely story." The tyrant feels a sharp pain in his tail before he hears a muffled thud. A large rope of tail lays at his side causing him to reel back in shock. "Now for the true test." Beerus bends the lizard's fragile arm back, Freeza feels the tendons in his arm tearing followed by a loud snap. Cell's eyes widen with shock as he witnesses his partner's arm go completely limp. The God Of Destruction releases his hold and promptly lifts himself up from the ground. "l think you've had enough. You should consider yourself lucky that you have 1000 more years of training to go." Beerus turns his sights to Whis and beckons him over. "Whis! Patch him up for me, will you?"

Whis smiles and nods his head," Right away, Beerus-Sama." Just as Whis attempts to heal the wounded Icejin, his pupil suddenly leaps up and attempts to tackle Beerus. Freeza flies towards the cat at high speed his broken arm flailing in the wind. In response, the feline delivers a powerful punch in the guise of a light jab to the tyrant's unguarded abdomen. Ripples send shockwaves through his body, he feels his internal organs shift from the potentially fatal blow. Gold skin fades from his body revealing his true vulnerable form. He falls to his knees and heaves up globs of saliva mixed in with hints of violet blood. Once the white-haired angel is sure the temperamental tyrant is under control, he goes over to complete his task. Whis points the staff at the mangled lizard only to be met with defiance.

"I don't need your pity!" Freeza screams as he pitifully attempts to raise himself off the ground.

Whis shakes his head in disapproval, "I'm afraid your training with Lord Beerus is over for today." Whis heals Freeza of his injuries against his wishes.

The tyrant lowers his head in defeat, gritting his teeth in anger after being bested yet again,"Please... forgive me for my outbursts."

Beerus rolls his eyes," Eh, think nothing of it. I just want to see you further improve, so don't take any of this to heart. I have to say, I wasn't pleased with what I saw from you today. Show me some improvement and just maybe I'll let you get another shot at me." Beerus turns his back to the frazzled Icejin and makes his way back to his castle, but before he can get far he stops for a brief moment to speak." Whis, could you put me to bed? I'm in dire need of a catnap right about now."

"I'll be with you in a moment, my Lord."

The crafty cat test the waters to see if he can get the angel to budge."Well then, don't keep me waiting too long, you know how cranky I can get."

"Yes, yes...I'm well acquainted with your temper, Beerus-Sama."

"Hmph... I'll be in my chambers!"

"Don't wait up!" Whis replies. The Hakaishin snarls at the angel before finally taking his leave. Whis smiles at the grumpy cat and then diverts his attention back to his two students, "Continue sparring until I get back."

Freeza remains completely silent, he stares at the emerald grass beneath his feet as it blows in the gentle breeze."You heard the man..." The androids pathetic attempt to garner the attention of his lover falls on deaf ears."Were you really expecting to beat Beerus with that sloppy technique back there? You as well as I know that we have to work together if we stand any chance against him." Freeza rises up from the grass and wipes his knees off with his hand.

"Teamwork is not a useful trait to a god. I alone am the only one capable of defending my honor!"

"You're not a God yet, you're still a mortal. If you have such a problem with that fact, why hold off on eliminating Beerus?"

"Because I need more training, that's why. As much as I want him deposed of I need to use the time allotted to me for my own personal improvement. Think about it, who in their right mind would revere a God as weak as I?"

Cell smirks, delivering a playful jab to Freeza's cheek "You already have entire galaxies trembling at the sound of your name, It really shouldn't be hard for you." The Icejin smiles at the well-meaning words of encouragement, it's exactly what he needed to hear. Cell smiles back only to be met with a hard punch to his cheek prompting them into their usual sparring session, they trained long into dusk until Whis finally sends them back to their sleeping quarters. Soon as they open the door Freeza makes a mad dash towards the bed, throwing himself face down on the plush mattress. Once his stomach hits the bed he winces from a sharp pain coursing through his body.

"Your stomachs acting up again, are you alright?" Cell ask. Freeza clenches his teeth against the bed, saliva drips from his mouth as he tosses and turns in agony.

"I'm ok...It's been a rather arduous day."

"He did hit you pretty hard back there, I'm just making sure you and the child are ok."

Freeza blushes slightly at Cell's concern for his future child's wellbeing. "Stop talking like that, it's no more than a mere polyp."

"Come up with any names yet?"

"Names? I haven't even laid the egg yet. I find naming at such a premature juncture preposterous." Cell reaches over to rub his partner's belly before giving him a tender kiss on the lips, right after that they hear knocking on the door. A familiar soft-spoken voice is heard on the other side.

"Are you decent in there?"

"You can come in, Whis," Cell replies.

Whis cautiously peers his head out from the door with an endearing smile on his face."Beerus would like for you to join us for dinner this evening. There's someone special he'd like for you to meet." Whis guides the duo to an intimate little dining area, unexpectedly quaint for someone of godly status like Beerus. The God Of Destruction is seated at a glass circular table with the mysterious stranger. Cell and Freeza both stare at the stranger in awe when they realize who it is.

"I-It's him..." Freeza mummers.

Whis walks up to the timid purple Kai and rests his hand on his shoulder,"I'd like for you to meet The Supreme Kai Of Universe 7." The tiny elf-like man nervously approaches the villain's while they stand idly in the entryway. He extends his hands towards Freeza as a polite gesture.

"Hi, I'm Shin. I do believe we've met before, although I never got the chance to formally introduce myself. I've heard a lot about you both from Whis and Beerus. It's an honor to finally make your acquaintance.

Freeza shakes his hand and returns a disingenuous grin,"It's a pleasure, Shin-Sama."

"No need for all of that around me, just call me Shin."

An agitated Beerus pounds his fist against the glass table,"Take your seats! I'm ready to eat!"

"Right! This way you two," Whis guides them to the seats that he made sure perfectly accommodates them. "I found this chair without a back especially for you Cell."

"You're too kind," Cell pulls Freeza's seat out for him before taking his own.

Whis takes 3 boxes of cheese pizza from his staff and lays them out on the table." I hope you don't mind a light dinner tonight."

"Speaking of food, I've been meaning to ask how the food audit went," Shin says.

"It went without a hitch! As expected, Beerus-Sama ate it all in one sitting and refused to spare not even a morsel."

"The fate of entire worlds rest on my taste buds ok! Anyway... in the next few days I'm going to all the low-quality planets and doing a second round of taste testing before I decide to blow them up or not. As you can guess, Earth remains undefeated in overall deliciousness." The group's attention immediately turns to a strange floating staff with a blue eel-like creature perched in a glass water tank. It hovers around Beerus as he swats at it with his paw. "What do you want now, Oracle fish!"

"You might want to take a rain check on that. I foresee bad things happening to you in the near future," The fish ominously warns.

"You've been saying that all day! Is this pizza going to food poison me or something? If that's the case, it's bad news for that pizzeria, not me!"

"You don't understand, very bad things are in your future! I can't explain exactly what it is, but it's not good!" The Oracle fish pleads.

"I can handle a little salmonella. Now, away with you!" Beerus shoos the defeated Oracle fish away. The Hakaishin reaches for a slice of pizza and licks his lips, prompting the others to grab from the box as well. Freeza sits uncomfortably in his chair as the throbbing pain continues to shoot through his inner core.

"Are you ok, Freeza?" Whis says with a hint of concern.

"I'm just not hungry right now..."

"Suit yourself, more cheesy goodness for me!" The Hakaishin grabs three more slices and scarfs them down.

Whis chuckles at Beerus's slovenly eating habits, "You may want to slow down on your eating, My Lord. I wouldn't want to find any surprises in your litter box later."

"Shhhh... I don't use a litter box!" Beerus yells. Shin starts to laugh at the cat's expense but is quickly taken aback when he glimpses Cell eying him from across the table. The Supreme Kai squirms in his seat as the stern android refuses to avert his piercing gaze.

"To what do we owe the honor of your visit today, illustrious Supreme Kai?" Freeza says while trying to maintain his composure in the midst of terrible fits of pain.

Whis notices that their guest is preoccupied with Cell's unrelenting stare, so he steps in to speak on his behalf." The Supreme Kai is the counterpart to the God of Destruction, he nourishes life while Beerus destroys it. That delicate balance between life and death is a necessary union for a stable universe to prosper."

"Think about it this way, if Shin wasn't around there would be no planets to destroy or delicious food to eat," Beerus explains while scarfing down another slice.

"I see... it all makes sense..."The tyrant's statement is cut off by the excruciating pain," Sorry for the sudden departure, but I'm going to have to excuse myself. It was nice to make your acquaintance, Shin-Sama." Freeza jumps from his seat and quickly flees down the hallway, Cell watches for a moment before chasing after him. The insect scans the maze-like hall for any sign of his partner before he instinctively heads back up to their shared room. He rushes into the open door and studies every inch of the spacious interior. At the corner of his eye he sees that the bathroom light is on, he sneaks over to investigate. His eyes widen in shock, he sees the distraught Icejin kneeling in the shower with his face in his hands and blood running down his legs. The grim realization stops Cell in his tracks, he quickly begins to realize what is causing the blood to seep down his partner's inner thigh. Freeza slowly uncovers his face letting his hands rest down on his knees as he stares blankly at the tiled shower wall,"We've waited long enough."


	14. It Was Meant To Be

The Android knows what is needed of him at that moment, but in the meantime, he goes to check up on his lover's condition. Sensing that the Icejin is on guard he approaches slowly. Cell grabs the shower curtain only to receive a cat-like hiss directed at him, after a second or two he musters up the courage to try again. He reaches for the trembling alien's shoulder only to end up in a wrestling match with him,"Don't touch me!" Freeza screams.

"I'm just trying to help!"

"Touching me isn't helping the situation! You know what needs to be done, so do it!"

"Are you sure we should go through with it while the Supreme Kai is still around? It'll be too suspicious."

"How about familiarizing yourself with his Ki signature, instead of hovering around my bloodied body like some kind of sicko?!"

"Fine... I'll do that, but first, let me clean you up." Once again Cell reaches for the cornered Icejin, but this time around he's smacked in the face by the lizards heavy tail. Cell grits his teeth in anger as he instinctively touches his bruised skin."You stupid bitch! I was trying to help you!"

"Admit it, you're happy that this happened to me, aren't you?! That's why you didn't help me back there, you wanted this all to happen!"

"Well, you're the fool who said fuck teamwork and went after Beerus alone.What did you expect for me to do?! You know what...If I'm to be perfectly honest with you, I'm glad that you miscarried, now I don't have to waste my time raising another worthless brat with you again!"

"I knew it! You're nothing but a good for nothing liar!" Freeza snaps.

"Well excuse me for not shedding a tear over the loss of another man's child!"

"That again!? It's not that monkeys child, it's my child! And if you never initiated copulation with that ignorant primate in the first place none of this would have even happened! Y-you... Just leave me alone! I need time to think!"

Cell slams the bathroom door behind him to give his partner space, soon as it shuts he hears the shower faucet turn on. He sits himself down on the side of the bed and closes his eyes in a meditative state. The inquisitive android studies The Supreme Kai's power level carefully until he memorizes all of its subtle peculiarities and nuances. In his Zen-like state he notices the Supreme Kai's energy dither but not completely disappear. "Hm... looks like the Supreme Kai has left Beerus's planet. I need to try to hold on to his signal until he reaches the Kai realm." Cell preoccupies himself with the daunting task, remaining perfectly still as not to break his intense concentration. Freeza finally leaves the bathroom, he walks over and lays down on the opposite side of the bed, completely ignoring his partner's presence in the room. The next morning arrives and as usual, the two are expected to rise early for their daily training. Freeza looks over to see that the android has not moved an inch since the night before. "Got your hormones under control yet?" The insect says to the groggy Space Lizard.

"When have I not been in control? I got you to do what I wanted, didn't I?"Freeza rebukes. Cell lets out a small chuckle in response, he then reaches over to massage his lover's delicate back."Most importantly... have you picked up on The Supreme Kai's location?"

Cell sighs" I'm not sure anymore, it's tough to hold onto amongst all the background noise. I still have a faint shimmer of something, but I'm not even positive it's him anymore."

Freeza rubs his chin in deep thought, "Hm, I see...Perhaps this tidbit of information I extracted from Whis-Sama might help. I know that this may sound repulsive, but have you ever noticed how Goku and his son's power levels feel similar despite differing vastly in strength?"

"I see, kinda like how like yours is compared your sons?"

"It's something similar to that. I suppose you could say that the Supreme Kai and Lord Beerus posses a familiar aura. Perhaps you could use him as your focal point?"

"I see...that'll make narrowing my search a lot more precise. The real question is, once I locate him, when should I strike?"

"Good question...let us just say that this time next week Lord Beerus will be no more. I propose we enact my divine coup d'état during our next day of servitude, that way Whis isn't breathing down our necks. I can stay behind with the choirs, while you go out and extinguish the life of that ankle-biter for me."

"Sounds like a plan," Cell whispers. The insect reaches over and kisses the Icejin on the lips. The tender kiss soon becomes more aggressive as he pulls Freeza out of the sheets into a tight embrace. His unwilling partner actively resists his advances shoving him away with his hands.

"No, not now! We still have to go about our usual early morning training regimen like normal." Cell starts to pout before Freeza returns a quick kiss."Do this for me and you'll get all the celebratory sex that your heart could possibly desire."

"Unlimited sex with a goddess? I'd be a fool to turn down such a tempting offer."

"You are aware that if you fail, you'll face a fate worse than death?" Freeza warns.

"I can assure you that failure is not something that I, a perfect being, am capable of.

Freeza covers his mouth and giggles,"Ohohohohoh! If that were the case we would have never met."

Cell returns a cocky smirk to the flirtatious Icejin,"Touché, Freeza..touché."

Less then a week after their discussion the villains are finally ready to set their grand scheme into motion. In the middle of laundry duty when they felt comfortable that Whis was halfway across the tiny planet did they act. While Beerus is fast asleep in his chambers and Whis is off on his morning rounds the two plot their next move. The would-be God Of Destruction scoops out the area for any sign of the vigilant angel, once sure that the coast is clear Freeza drops what he is doing to signal to his partner. The Icejin points up to the sky with his finger before balling his hand into a fist and slamming it down into his open palm. Once receiving his cue, Cell places his washboard on the ground and quietly rises to his feet, he then scans around cautiously until he feels comfortable resting his index and middle finger onto his forehead.

The intensity is palpable in the air as the potential consequences of getting caught looms ever present on their minds. His lookout delivers one more node of assurance allowing Cell to vanish from where he stood. Thus the insurmountable task of finding a minuscule pinpoint of energy trillions of miles into space begins. In the blink of an eye, he appears in a serene garden-like environment almost similar to the one he shared with Freeza in Hell. The place is full of butterflies, lush flowers, and trees that never seem to progress beyond their spring phase. Cell sneers with disgust as he looks around for his elusive prey. It's then that he looks down and sees the Kai sitting directly in front of him, seated in the grass enthralled into his favorite book. The little Kai places a bookmark on the page he was reading and closes it gently.

"Is that you elder Kai? You really didn't have come all this way to find me you know..." The Kai pauses leaving an eerie silence in his wake, he slowly turns his head to get a good look of who is standing behind him. He leaps back when he sees the determined android glaring down at him. "Oh...Cell, it's you! Sorry, you scared me, I wasn't expecting visitors today. Is everything alright? Are Beerus and Whis with you?"

"I wouldn't worry too much about them, it's your own life that you should be more concerned with." Cell replies back with a smug grin. Shin let's out an audible gulp in his throat, he immediately tries to slink away only to be met with Cell's foot on his chest. Shin uses his hand to try to push the android off his body but he's too weak to fight back. Shin screams as he fights against the heavy foot burying him in the ground. "You're being too noisy, wouldn't want to wake the neighbors now would we?" The android presses down harder on his victim's chest before he goes back to looking around for possible witnesses. Shin takes note of Cell's cautious behavior and uses it to his advantage. The Kai's eyes glow an eerie blue aura, he directs his laser vision at the insect's unguarded face. Suddenly the Android is caught off guard by a searing heat in his right eye. Smoke starts to billow from the gaping hole where his eye once was.

The Supreme Kai calls out for help while Cell is busy regenerating from his injury,"Elder Kai, help! Elder ka..."

In anger, he lifts the Kai up by the mouth and proceeds to suffocate him."You little shit! I was going to make this quick and painless for you, but now you've really pissed me off!" Cell's initial rage towards the defiant Kai is put to the side when he remembers that his partner is awaiting his return back on Beerus's planet."Hmph, consider yourself fortunate that I'm short on time right, or else I would take extra care in enacting your gruesome torture." The Supreme Kai's eyes start to fade white, his dampened screams muffled by Cell's large palm."And you have the nerve to call yourself a God? Pathetic!"

The Kai frantically kicks his feet when he sees the android place his other palm up to his temple."Shh... It'll all be over soon." Cell fires his Ki at point-blank range, all motion ceases and the Kai's body goes limp. Thick smog clogs the air and the overbearing smell of soot from the blast wafts in the breeze. When the smoke finally disperses and it's clear that the Kai is no more, Cell tosses the corpse to the ground and prepares to use his instant transmission. Before he leaves he notices Shin's body dissolve into the wind as blue sparkling dust, he smiles over his handy work and disappears.

Back on Beerus's planet, Whis is in the middle of tending to his garden, he only notices something is off when the white lily in his hand wilts. The air grows stagnant and all life around cease their normal behaviors."Beerus-Sama..."

Within his sleep chambers, the tired cat is jolted out of his sleep by a nagging pang in his chest. He looks down at his paws and witnesses them start to wrinkle before his eyes." What's going on with my body!?" He hastily flies off his bed to the nearest mirror he can find, the image staring back at him is that of a wrinkled old man. He touches his face in horror as his rapid aging continues to progress. With the last vestige of his strength he seeks shelter back on his beloved bed, the place he spent the lion's share of his reign as a Hakaishin."WHIS!" The god yells pathetically with his shaky vocal cords. Abruptly his vision goes blurry and he loses coordination, his head falls back only to be caught by his trusted angel. Whis cradles the badly aged Beerus in his arms, he reaches for his hand and clutches it tightly.

"It's been a pleasure, Beerus-Sama." Beerus smiles before shutting his eyes, his body continues to further deteriorate until it's reduced to nothing but a pile of ash. Whis holds all that remains of the once powerful God Of Destruction, his favorite pajamas that the angel had washed more times then he could count. He promptly folds them up and lays them atop a pillow.

On the other side of the planet, Freeza sighs as he hangs yet another tee shirt on the line, the monotony is suddenly broken when his partner instantly appears beside him."Well...were you successful?" The Icejin inquires.

The cocky android laughs uncontrollably in response, "Hahahahahahahahaha!" The laughter soon becomes contagious when the tyrant also erupts into his own victory cry.

"Ohohohohohohoho!!!" Neither villain can contain their unbridled jubilation. Cell grabs Freeza up from the stool he was standing on and spins him around into a romantic kiss.

"How about a quick victory lap? " The android murmurs seductively.

"Unfortunately we must save the celebration for later, Whis is most likely going to inform us at any moment about Beerus's demise." Just as those words escape his lips Whis appears across from them.

"I'm afraid I have terrible news. Lord Beerus, is dead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt so bad writing this chapter. I love both Beerus and Shin, and it was hard to do this to them :(


	15. When The Stars Align

"No way, not Lord Beerus! Who could have possibly done such a thing!?" Freeza cries.

"Sadly, we'll probably never know... The time for a temporal-do over has long since passed, and even still, there was no possible way I could make it to the Kai realm in time to stop whoever is responsible. It would be one thing if we could interrogate Beerus and Shin in the afterlife, but given their rather peculiar circumstances that would be impossible."

"Why is that the case?"

"When a Hakaishin and a Kaioshin die while still bonded, their spirits are completely destroyed. They're neither in heaven or hell now."

The Icejin's cold blood runs colder at Whis's ominous words. Despite the grim realization of his ultimate fate if he were to assume the title of a God, he recovers his resolve."What happens now? Who shall succeed Lord Beerus in his absence?"

"That's a good question...While you were the only candidate I was training in universe 7, it's possible that there may be a more suitable replacement in another universe."

Freeza frowns, his dreams of being a God Of Destruction instantly dashed."When will you have a definitive answer? "

"It could be in two days, or two thousand years, It all depends on what father thinks is best. Come to think of it...I may be out of a job," Whis says with a laugh. The astute angel notices the tyrants internal temper tantrum, he places his hand on his shoulder, "I'll be sure to put in a good word for you." Freeza manufactures a grin in response to the Angel's caring assurance. "Now then, I'm going to need you both to gather your things quickly."

"I don't quite understand... what about my training?"

"I'm afraid I must report back to father immediately. After my service is completed, I'm decommissioned indefinitely until reassigned to a Hakaishin. Even if you did have a chance to become Beerus's replacement, there is no certainty that I'll be the angel assigned to you." Whis turns his back to the bewildered baddies,"Hurry, unless you're ok with having all your belongings erased."

Cell turns to Freeza,"Stay here, I'll go back and get them."He uses his instant transmission to teleport himself to their old room. He takes Freeza's small luggage bag and starts to fill it haphazardly with whatever familiar items he can find laying around. As he packs, his hand accidentally grazes an object underneath a pillow, out of curiosity, he pulls it out to examine. Cell's eyebrow furrows when he starts to recognize the tiny action figure. "Hmph, it's no wonder he refused to return this plastic junk back to his son. How does he expect to be a God Of Destruction when he can't even put aside his meager mortal attachments?" The android looks at the small figure in disgust before tossing it in the bag with the rest of the tyrant's belonging. Once completing his task he returns back to the angel and his weary-eyed student.

"I hope you gathered everything in your possession, this planet will be gone in just a moment."

"You're going to destroy the planet?" Freeza says in shock.

"No, it'll just be hidden for awhile until the next God Of Destruction takes up residence there. Now, come in close you two." The villains grab onto the angel, they're quickly taken out into space far away from the planet's surface. Whis points his staff at the planet, it starts to warp under the Angel's powerful manipulation, until it finally disappears into the ether."Alright, it's time to go."Whis drops his former students off where he picked them up 5 months prior and grins. "It's been an honor to get the chance to train you both. You've brought so much entertainment to our lives, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Who knows, if the stars align correctly we may see each other again very soon." The white-haired angel starts to wave as he delivers his final farewell,"Goodbye, Freeza! Goodbye, Cell!" Despite his usual well-mannered behavior, Freeza remains dead silent, his head facing down towards the concrete below. Whis sighs as he looks over the Icejin's disappointed face, he then taps his staff and vanishes into the sky.

Two months have passed since they last heard from the angelic being, the tyrant has remained hauled up in his quarters for the majority of it. He sulks alone in the utter darkness, staring up at the glass ceiling above. His self-inflicted seclusion is only broken when an unmistakable knock rings through his ear. Freeza grumbles, being too lazy to walk to the door he hits the emergency button on the wall next to his bed causing the front door to swing open on its own. Cell moseys into Freeza's suite, purposely eying the lizard trying to hide his face under the covers."How long are you going to keep up this childish act?" The android takes a seat on the bed, he reaches over and jostles the Icejin sized lump underneath the covers until he gets a reaction.

In a fit of rage, Freeza peaks his head from the sheets to broach the audacious android's teasing,"Will you stop that, you dimwitted, ne'er-do-well!"

"Hah, you're one to talk, I've actually been working my ass off unlike you. Seriously Freeza, your troops look pathetic out there. It's like they've lost all morale since you started moping around like a sad sack. Let's just say that thanks to me, and only me, there will be no uprising on Marzipandi...or whatever the hell that planet you sent me to is called. You're welcome by the way."

"That's just it... you don't get it. You've never had to live responsibly a day in your life! You've never had to face consequences for anything you've done! You just aimlessly wander through life like a common bottom feeder!" Cell starts to chuckle prompting the Icejin to shoot him a piercing glare."There it goes again... you're so facetious! Here I have built up the mightiest empire this universe has ever seen. I've had it all taken away from me, yet I still managed to rule from my grave and restore my place once more as emperor. Still, it was stripped away from me and my only means to reclaim it was to align myself with the man I hated more than Hell itself! Now I've finally destroyed the almighty Lord Beerus and my reward for it was to be put back at square one?! No, this is much worse... now I don't even have access to god training!" Freeza takes the sheet and covers himself, turning to face away from his lover.

The insect gently runs his finger down Freeza's spine through the thin sheets,"I understand that you're stressed out, but don't worry, I have the perfect remedy for what ales you."

"Say sex, and I swear to god I'll rip your tongue out!" The angry lizard snaps.

"Oh C'mon! I haven't gotten any since our romp with Goku. You promised me endless sex, and so far I've received less than before I assassinated a deity on your behalf!"

"Wrong! I explicitly promised sex with a God, not a blithering, washed up, has-been who can't do anything right!"

 

Cell picks the self-loathing Icejin from his quilted cocoon and cradles him in his arms."Stop saying that, you just have to be patient. If we have to destroy another God that gets in your way, so be it." Freeza lays his head against Cell's soft chest and closes his eyes. All his worries and insecurities drift away as he rests in his lovers caring arms."Those two weeks without you were utter hell," Cell murmurs.

"Getting sentimental again?"Freeza mocks.

"Not quite... I just find you fascinating beyond compare. Usually, I'm plagued by my incessant boredom, but being around you is somehow, different. You placate the endless humdrum of my mortal existence, allowing me to express all manner of vile earthly expressions."

"All of that just to avoid admitting that you've developed an emotional attachment to me? How droll... You certainly wouldn't be cut out to be a god."

Cell rolls his eyes at Freeza,"That's rich coming from you, miss nanny."

"I'm fully prepared to rid myself of those things that keep me from my role as a God, that includes mortal attachments of any kind."

"So you want to destroy all the things that hold sentimental value to you? Haha...Well, I'm a goner."

"Before I can truly ascend, I must cleanse myself of all mortal baggage. So, how about you? What are your plans beyond this mortal banality?"

The android rubs under his chin,"Hmm...I was thinking I'd go from planet to planet with you by my side. Together we'd seek out and smite the most powerful of foes. After depopulating billions of planets of all their lifeforms, we'd repopulate them with our own until we got bored and killed them off too. Eventually, I would grow tired of your nagging and destroy you as well, and after that...guess I'd go dormant until new lifeforms emerged or something."

Freeza lets out a disingenuous yawn, "Riveting..." All attention in the room turns to a beeping sound coming from Freeza's desk, they look at each other until one finally volunteers to get it. Freeza raises his hand to the communication device causing it to levitate over towards them on the bed.

"How lazy can you get?"

"Quiet!" Freeza says as he listens into the device. "Yes...Are you sure that's what you saw? Ok, I'm on my way," The Icejin instantly leaps from his bed and flies out the door and down the hallway. In utter confusion, the android follows suit as they storm through the hallway sending bystanders falling to the ground.

"Why the rush all of a sudden!?"

"I was just informed that there is a man on the bridge waiting for me. It's Whis-Sama, he's come back for me!" As they reach the hatch leading to the outside they instantly recognize the tall angel standing off in the distance. Too impatient to wait for the hatch to open, Freeza blasts a hole through it to the chagrin of the bases maintenance crew. They rush over to greet the cheerful angelic traveler. Freeza bows in reverence to his master," Whis- Sama!"

Whis puts his hand to his mouth and chuckles,"That's no way for a God Of Destruction to greet his angel."

Freeza's eyes widen and his mouth takes on a disturbingly happy grin." Y-you mean...that I-I was chosen to be the next God Of Destruction!?"

"Father was quite impressed with your thorough track record of Destruction, he also felt that since Beerus already had a replacement in mind that there would be no reason to wait any longer. Since we have a history father feels it's best that I continue to train you. Isn't that great? I'm sure Beerus-Sama would have wanted it this way."

"So what happens next? Are there several more months of godly bureaucracy I have to wait through?"

"I have to take you to meet with father first before anything can be finalized." Whis reaches out to Freeza, the Icejin excitedly reaches over before turning his attention to the large insect standing behind him. "I'm afraid that this is a personal meeting, your friend will have to stay this one out."Cell looks back at Freeza with huge puppy-dog eyes. Whis giggles when he sees the pathetic face the android is making."Is he aware that he's making that face? It's oddly adorable," He whispers to Freeza.

"Pull yourself together, commander! I need you to put on a more dignified face than that."

"I just now get you back, and now we're being separated again?"

Freeza turns around, he glides up to eye level with the pouty insect."I'll be back for you on New Namek. After that mission, I promise you will be relieved of your duties with my army and you can join me in the god realm permanently."

"That's not too far off, I suppose I can hold out a bit longer." They exchange a passionate kiss before Freeza flies over and grabs Whis's waiting hand."You better hold to your promise, or else I'll have to destroy you." The two villains look longingly on each other as Whis taps his staff against the ground, leaving the android standing on the bridge by himself.

 

About 30 minutes past before the tyrant and his angelic assistant arrive at there location, a large Palace suspended above an endless nothingness. "Is this where he lives? That father you keep going on about?"

"Yes, my father the Daishinkan or the grand priest as you know him by. He's the father to all the angels."

"What about that childlike Lord Zeno fellow, are we to consult with him as well?"

"Nope, Appointing the Hakaishin is strictly the business of my father. Try not to get too nervous around him, he's actually quite tolerant of mortals." Whis flies up to the palace and over to a seemingly unassuming wall, he places his hand on it causing it to split apart. They make their way down a long narrow hallway until they reach a small boxed off area, it's a small sterile room no windows or doors. Soon as they step into it the hallway closes behind them leaving no trace of its existence. Freeza stares in awe at the short white-haired man seated at a simple cube-shaped desk with his hands folded."Father."

The grand priest smiles back at his visitors,"Son."

"I've brought Freeza with me today, as you know he's looking to become the next God Of Destruction Of Universe 7."

"Indeed," The man replied back still looking lovingly at his son. Freeza stands off to the side as the awkwardly silent standoff continues, the Daishinkan suddenly looks over at him causing his tail to spasm from his nerves acting up."Does my son not please you?"

"Whis-Sama? Oh... I absolutely adore Whis-Sama. I would like nothing more than to continue my training under his tutelage." The Grand Priest nods his head in response.

"You can come out now, Shima." The Grand Priest commands.

Freeza looks to the right corner of the priest desk and sees a small figure emerge from the wall. It's a small purple Kai, almost identical to Shin but with slightly longer hair pulled back into a ponytail. "Shima?"

Whis can see that the tyrant is curious about the Kai and begins to spill information to him."Lucky for you, it just so happens that Shin had a twin sister waiting in the reigns. It's extremely rare to have two supreme Kais sprouting from a golden kaiju at the same time, it's truly a once in a lifetime miracle."

The Grand priest sends a look of approval to Freeza," I approve of this union."

Whis smiles back at his father before instructing the confused Icejin,"I'm going to need you both to stand over there and hold each other's hands. That's the only way your souls can be linked."

The kai approaches Freeza, the Icejin gives her a cold leer before reluctantly grabbing hold of her hand. They both face the Daishinkan nervously awaiting what would happen next. He rises from his seat and grabs hold of their free hands forming a circle. The grand priest utters a few words in a mysterious language before finally lifting his head up,"You're free to go." He promptly relinquishes his grip and takes his seat.

"That's it? You mean... I-I'm now officially an immortal Hakaishin?!"

"Indeed you are, Lord Freeza. You're just missing one more thing." Whis twirls his wand at the tiny Icejin causing his target to reflexively close his eyes, Freeza slowly opens them to see himself now clothed in the traditional God Of Destruction garb. "It looks fitting on, my Lord. Freeza fights hard to retain his calm demeanor as the enormity of the situation sets in. "Thank you, Father."

"You're welcome, my son," After The Grand Priest says his goodbyes the hidden hall reemerges and the trio makes there exit, upon making it out to the courtyard, the female Kai bids her farewells.

"It was nice meeting you, Freeza. I shall visit you again soon. KAI-KAI!" She vanishes leaving Whis and the newly appointed God Of Destruction outside the floating palace.

"Where is she going?!" Freeza says with a hint of worry in his voice.

"She's going back to Kai realm to live amongst the other's of her kind." Freeza groans but decides to ultimately drop the subject. Whis point's his staff at the infinite void of space in front of them."Let's go home. There's a lot of remodeling that needs to be done."


	16. Last Night As A Mortal

The angel and his anointed God of Destruction make it to the newly renovated planet. "Here we are, home sweet home! Excuse what I've done with the place, I'm in the middle of sorting through Beerus's old furniture."

Freeza scrunched up his nose in disgust at the piles of defaced furniture strewn out on the lawn."This is such an eyesore! The majority of it is broken and thrown around haphazardly with no rhyme or reason to it."

"Beerus was ever the eccentric type when it came to home decor. Most of this is from leftover projects of his, back when he fancied himself an artist."

"Well, get rid of it. I want something more fitting for my exquisite taste."

"I'm more than capable of assisting you with that." Whis twirls his staff and erases the stacks of furniture in front of them, he then replaces it with a large stone block. "I can create any kind of building material with my staff. Now If only my talents encompassed culinary skills, but I'm afraid I'm an architect by trade."

"So what you're saying, is that you can design a place that fits my specified parameters?"

"Yup, anything your heart desires I can make possible...architecturally speaking of course."

Freeza rubs his hands together in excitement, "I'll construct the most opulent palace the universe has ever seen!"

"Let's get to work, shall we."

After hours of meticulous coordination, The God of Destruction's new abode is finally constructed. Freeza admires his work from afar capturing every perspective of the structure as he can possibly take in. "This is a rather befitting homage to my heritage. It almost feels like I'm back on my homeworld, minus the weakling commoners gallivanting about the outer limits."

"This is the first time I've had such a lavish request. Your eye for stonemasonry is quite exquisite, my Lord." Whis walks along the long red carpet leading to the front door of Freeza's gated victorian-esque era castle. "Wait until you see the interior."

"Oh, is it everything I hoped for and more?"

Whis sends a wink in Freeza's direction," Only one way to find out." He walks up to the door and opens it for the Icejin. Freeza steps into the large castle and marvels at the lavish decor furnished throughout the halls. The tyrant happily saunters throughout his new home, touching every surface like a kid in a candy shop."It's like you took what was in my head and made it a reality!"

"Everything is designed with your luxury in mind, my Lord."

"I can't believe it...Not once in a million years did I imagine that I, Lord Freeza would become the harbinger of Destruction for the universe!"

A month passes by and Cell finds himself on New Namek collecting Dragon Balls with a group of low ranking Freeza Force soldiers. Instead of helping with the search, he waits in the tactical room of the ship, staring off at maps and notes scattered haphazardly on a table." Why was I made to come here again? I'm not going to go on some wild goose chase for some insignificant amber balls, I'll leave that busy work for the lackeys." Cell starts impatiently tapping his feet against the hard metallic floor." And most irritatingly...They want me to be on my best behavior...I feel like I'm on a leash, like some kind of dog! Maybe if I was able to pillage a town here or there it would satiate my boredom, but no...we just had to play peacekeeper!" Cell's eyes linger over the countless stacks of blueprints laying about in a feeble attempt to lessen his boredom. "I wonder what he wants these Dragon Balls for? Certainly not to wish for further immortality, that I can be sure of. Perhaps he wants to go ahead and do away with all his mortal desires? I highly doubt that's the way he'd want to deal with it, too ungratifying..."

The insect's inner dialogue is cut off by the mechanical sound of the automatic door opening. Unsurprisingly, It's one of Freeza's underlings."Commander, Sir! Lord Freeza has graced our presence! He would like for you to join us outside."

The android smirks,"It's about time he brought his godly ass back." The lackey escorts him out the front of the ship, all 7 balls laying out in the grass. Eleven Freeza force members stand near the ship's entrance, all bowing before the rookie Hakaishin, Cell's escort quickly adopts a subservient position as well. Meanwhile, Cell nonchalantly passes by the men, taking a straight path directly towards The God Of Destruction and his angel."Hmph, you had me worried, I thought you'd never show."

Freeza chuckles, "Ohohohoh... When you're a God, you don't fret over menial concepts like the passage of time."

Cell looks Freeza up and down and whistles," Is there anything you don't look good in?"

"What an insipid question... Of course not!" The Destroyer God starts to walk past the insect towards the 7 Dragon Balls with Whis following close behind. He stops close to the neatly placed orbs and marvels at them while they glisten under the intense sunlight."So many memories are flooding into me right now, not all of them fond...".He unexpectedly turns his attention to a bowing Freeza Force member accompanied by a young Namekian kid."Do as I say, and this will not end up a bad memory for you!"The soldier gets up and pushes the child towards the Dragon Balls. The nervous child immediately starts to chant in his native Namekian language causing the orbs to glow and combine into a radiant light. The light takes on a robust top-heavy shape while the lower half remains serpentine.

"Porunga!" The child cries out as the Beast emerges from his glowing prison."I WILL GRANT THREE WISHES TO THE ONE WHO INTERRUPTED MY ETERNAL SLUMBER.

Freeza remains perfectly silent as the looming dragon asks for his first wish. The calmness of his stern demeanor serves as a believable facade to offset the unsure thoughts racing within his head. He swallows his saliva and relaxes his hands to his side, he then gestures for Whis to come in closer.Freeza whispers into the Angel's ear, Whis shakes his head in agreement, before walking up to the child to relay his message. Soon after receiving his order, the boy starts to once more communicate in his language to the impatient dragon.

"I CANNOT GRANT THAT WISH, IT IS BEYOND MY LIMITATIONS,"Porunga replies back in a loud booming voice.

Freeza bares his teeth at the giant reptile in contempt,"I demand you bring my daughter Tundra back!" Cell along with the other Freeza Force soldiers gawk at their leader in confusion. The puzzled Namekian boy tries again to translate his wish but is met with a similarly unsatisfactory answer.

"I CANNOT BRING BACK SOMEONE WHO NEVER EXISTED."

The vengeful Hakaishin stomps his feet in anger, he points his finger at the child then over to Porunga."I don't think you've heard me correctly, so I'll only repeat this once...Bring back my daughter, or else I'll destroy you where you stand!" With no other choice, the child tries fruitlessly to make the angry emperors wish.

"I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY.MAKE ANOTHER WISH SO I MAY GRANT IT."

The Hakaishin sees red when the indifferent dragon once again ignores his command."What did you say to me!? Don't you know who I am!? I am The God Of Destruction!"

Suddenly, Porunga gets nervous when he hears the Icejin's title,"LORD BEERUS?! IM SO SORRY, I DID NOT RECOGNIZE YOU. I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE YOUR EXCELLENCY, BUT YOUR WISH IS BEYOND MY LIMITATIONS!"

"Lord Beerus? Lord Beerus!?...Is that so? Well then...What worth are you to me!"Freeza flattens his palm outward creating a glowing purple orb with streaks of black electricity around it. It quickly grows from the size of a marble to the size of a large hot air balloon. Onlookers watch on in terror when Freeza fires it directly at the maker of dreams.

"NO!!!" Porunga screams as the energy hits his body and begins to collapse in on him. The dragon thrashes around in an attempt to free himself, but ultimately he fails and blinks out of existence.

Freeza Force members and the Namekian alike both fall to there knees when confronted by Freeza's Godly Hakai energy. For a brief moment, all is calm, until the God Of Destruction once again becomes animated. "Congratulations, denizens of New Namek! You'll have the honor of being the first planet I destroy during my tenure as God!" Just as Freeza is about to enact his vengeance, his angelic guardian grabs him by the wrist.

"I've seen enough. It's time to go back home, Freeza-Sama." Whis scolds

"Why are you stopping me from doing my job, Whis?"

"You never stated that we were coming to this planet to destroy it. You haven't given any good reason why this civilization should be destroyed."

Freeza points an accusatory finger at the terrified Namekian child. "Their insolent dragon refused to grant me my wish, that should be sufficient enough reason to obliterate them!"

"You're acting out on your emotions, my Lord, That's why I'm here to check you if you behave recklessly."

"If I were to blow this entire planet to space dust, how would you go about stopping me?"

"Hm... Well, I'd reverse time... " Whis pauses mid-sentence and strategically lifts his staff over Freeza's head."And knock you over the head with my staff. I'll let you make up your own mind how this plays out."Freeza grumbles before grabbing onto Whis. "A wise choice, my Lord." Freeza side eyes the angel who promptly chuckles at his displeasure."Come along, Cell." The befuddled android flys over to join his divine companions in time to leave the planet with them.

They return to a dark planet reaching its twilight hours, the red afternoon sky still clinging on as blankness slowly opaque it. Cell looks up at Freeza's large stone castle and shrugs, "I expected nothing less from you." Upon entering the well-lit structure the Icejin turns to his master.

"I'm turning in for the night," The Hakaishin says sheepishly.

In response, the white-haired angel bows, "Have a good night, Freeza-Sama. Cell." Whis takes his way down a long corridor while the two villains make their way to Freeza's wing of the manor. They enter The God Of Destruction's private chambers, a large room with unfathomable high ceilings and a spiral skylight. In the center is a large bed fit for a god triple his size. He walks ahead of Cell and sits down on the bed with his back turned. Out of some semblance of concern, the android takes a seat behind him, wrapping his arms tightly around his lithe frame.

"Is everything Alright? I gotta admit, you had me a bit concerned back there."

"Over what praytell, may I ask?"

"You said that once you became a God, you'd shun all your mortal weaknesses, yet out of all the things you could possibly wish for, you choose that girl?" There is a prolonged pause in communication, Freeza runs through his mind the multitude of excuses he can conjure up for his actions.

"The child we had... she is a phantom that haunts me to this day. I wanted to wish her back so I could finally purge that ultimate source of weakness from my consciousness." Freeza tucks himself between Cell's warm embrace for shelter from his harsh reality. "It's not fair...I'm a God now, I shouldn't possess such mortal attachments!" His voice cracks as he speaks, it's as if the Hakaishin wants to cry but is incapable of it.

"You need to stop being so hard on yourself about this God thing. Sure, you're an immortal, technically I am as well. My cells don't age like other lifeforms do, so dying of old age isn't really a thing for me. At first, I thought to be the perfect being required me to reject my baser biological drives, but slowly it dawned on me that to experience those things is what makes me truly superior. As long as I can choose to shut those intrusive feelings off on a whim, it doesn't negate my perfection, it actually enhances it." Cell moves towards the center of the bed, despite the uncomfortable position he lays on his wings with his lover on his chest as they stare up at the night sky through the skylight.

"This is everything I've ever wanted since I was a child, why then do I feel like I'm unworthy? "

"Do you really think Beerus exemplified those traits you deify so much? He was a diehard hedonist who stuffed his face all day and slept like a lazy house cat, you don't get more mortal than that."

"I suppose you're correct, maybe I am overthinking things." Freeza looks over when he feels the android's hands feeling up his exposed arms.

"Your skin still feels mortal to me." Freeza shifts around on his chest to face down on the android beneath him.

"Why do you mock your God?"

Cell chuckles," I bet your lips feel the same too." He goes in for a kiss catching the Icejin by surprise. The insect slides his tongue into the lizard's mouth, Freeza reciprocates as he is taken in by his lovers tender kiss. The insect's hands drift below the open tail slit in the gods pants, it feels around until it rests firmly on his cloacal opening. Stubbornly the Hakaishin prevents entry before eventually giving in to his carnal desires.

He feels a finger glide in and out of his vaginal canal inducing muffled moans to escape his mouth as they lock lips."Ahhh...ahhhh! This shouldn't feel this good to me!" While Cell goes in and applies another finger, he uses his other hand to attempt to undress him. Upon noticing the attempted intrusion, Freeza cracks his whip-like tail down hard on the hand tugging at his waistband.

"We can't do this with those on unless you're ok with me tearing a hole in them?" Freeza lifts himself off of Cell's chest and clutches at his clothing. Instead of backing down the insect proceeds to tug at the ends of his pant legs. The incensed Icejin responds to the violation by kicking Cell in the face with his frog-like foot.

"No! If I remove my clothes I'm no better than the lowly mortal I once was."

Cell reaches over and gently places his hand on Freeza's shoulder, he brings his smaller partner in to rest against his soft chest. "Clothing doesn't make you a God, it's your accomplishments that got you here that do. Underneath it all, you're still the immortal God Of Destruction." Freeza looks up at his lover with innocent eyes, finally feeling comfortable with capitulating to his earthly desire. He lets go of his hold and allow his lover to strip him down unabated. Cell smiles when he views the vulnerable nude body displayed in front of him."You don't know how pleased I am now that I'll actually be able to share my eternity with you."They continue to make out with each other passionately before indulging their sexual desires further.

"You are my ultimate weakness. I loathe you so much," Freeza says while staring longingly into Cell's orchid colored eyes.

"I've never hated anyone more in my life than you." Cell murmurs. Not wanting to keep the amorous Icejin waiting, he maneuvers his hardened cock up against Freeza's cloacal opening. A gasp escapes the small alien's lips as Cell pushes his throbbing dick further into his sensitive vaginal area, adopting a gentle rhythm as he thrust deeper. Freeza wraps his legs around his partner's waist as he rocks him back and forth with his powerful hips. The Icejin's porcelain cheeks streak violet from the overbearing sensation of his partner's massive member caressing against his tender vaginal walls. A familiar sensation begins to well up from within him, the same feeling he unwittingly had only a few months prior. Helplessly, he tries in vain to fight his bodies innate parthenogenic drive as his partner continues to invade his weeping hole.

"Ahhhhhh...Cell, I-I..."

"Ahhhh...I know...I'm about to cum too!" Cell utters in the mist of struggling to contain his powerful orgasm. He successfully manages to pull out just in time to avoid impregnating his partner and collapses onto the bed. Their breathing remains heavy as they both come down from their much-needed release. Cell uses his foot to kick the sullied sheets onto the floor and proceeds to cuddle with Freeza. Not too long after his head hits the plush pillow, the insect is fast asleep leaving the traumatized Hakaishin alone with his own thoughts. Realizing that he's ostensibly by himself, he takes his fist and batters it into his aching belly.

"I'm beyond this! I'm a God, dammit! A God!" Eventually, he tires himself out and lays motionless on the bed. Instead of falling asleep he stares blankly at the large empty wall to his left, unsure of what the future holds.


	17. Appetite Of A God

Sunlight pours in through the skylight above the bed, soon as it hits his armor-plated skin the insect stirs from his sleep. He stretches his stiff segmented arms in preparation for the long day ahead of him, it's then that he registers a pleasurable sensation radiating from his groin. His keen ears pick up on a wet sucking noise and his eyes soon after a gold spherical object bobbing between his legs. He recovers enough to recognize it as his lover in his ascended form. Light cascades onto the lizard's body, reflective glints of shimmering gold slightly impeding his sight. "You got me up earlier than usual," The android says with a cocky smirk on his face.

After being noticed he takes the large erect phallus out of his mouth and looks up at his bewildered partner. Cell instantly blushes from the sight of his lover's glossy black lips still trailing a string of saliva from the tip of his cock."Thought I'd engage you in some early morning exercise." Right after giving his response, he goes back to his task to the relief of the aroused insect. The playful lizard starts to tease the engorged cock tracing his tongue over every protruding groove on its surface.

"You're holding to your promise?" Cell utters in the midst of his moans. He bites down on his lower lips, the intense feeling of the golden lizard's nimble tongue sliding up his shaft almost too much for him to handle. The Icejin removes his mouth off the member, instead opting to use his hand to stroke its saliva coated surface. The Hakaishin puts on a devilish grin as he sees his partners usual cool facade fades into pathetic panting. Freeza lifts himself from his knees and proceeds to lay his foot over the excited sexual organ, using his dexterous opposable digits to gently caress it.

"I'm just testing you," Golden Freeza responds slyly. The lizard wraps his 3 toes around it and proceeds to squeeze, applying only moderate pressure, as he rubs around the sensitive glans he uses the seeping precum as added lubrication. Cell's breathing becomes progressively labored from the immense stimulation. After one more tight pinch is applied he witnesses large globs of semen erupting from the agitated tip. The sticky fluid coats the bottom of his feet prompting him to recoil in disgust. As the insect lays back against the headboard to catch his breath, he finds a dripping foot being presented to him."Clean my foot, you filthy maggot!" Eagerly the android obliges and starts lapping up his own seminal fluids from the God Of Destructions awaiting foot.

"Hmph, this is exactly where an insignificant bug like you belongs, beneath my feet!" He exclaims. Golden Freeza pushes his toes into the android's mouth. Upon making contact with his tongue, the insect reflexively sucks on them, causing his arousal to resurface."You sicken me!" The God snaps. He pulls his saliva drenched foot out and steps off the bed.

Cell looks down at his erection and back over to his partner. "It's not going to suck itself you know." Freeza saunters over and flicks the head of his penis prompting the insect to speak obscenities under his breath.

"Ohohohoho! Don't fret, we'll take care of that soon enough." He happily skips out of his chambers only to be followed closely behind by the noticeably aroused android. Just as they exit they run into Whis causing Cell to panic in an attempt to mask his obvious erection.

"Good morning, Freeza! Cell!" Whis glimpses the Android's exposed erection and blushes."Oh my...Am I intruding?"

"No, we're heading to the hot springs for my morning bath," Golden Freeza informs with a disturbingly wide grin on his face.

"Ok, I'll straighten up your linen for you." The two villains continue their way down the hall until they eventually make it to a large open area that houses the hot springs. When they get themselves situated Freeza and Cell dip their bodies into the bubbling spring water. Golden Freeza sits down on Cell's lap and the insect gets to work washing his nearly spotless back. As he scrubs behind his neck he senses the Icejin teasing at his erection by rubbing it between his muscular thighs.

"Damnit! How am I supposed to get you clean if you keep taunting me like this!?"

The Hakaishin turns his head slightly and smirks before he descends beneath the warm spring water. Feelings of pleasure immediately overtake the android's body when the lizard's nimble tongue traces over his dick. The sloshing of the water beneath him becomes more turbulent as the Icejin sucks him dry. Just as he reaches climax Whis peaks his head into the hot springs room.

"Freeza-Sama, breakfast is ready! I also made your favorite Kaioshin tea to go with it!"

Golden Freeza lifts his drenched head from the steaming water and shakes the droplets from his smooth skin. "I'll be there in a second, Whis!"

"No problem! Clean clothes are on the bench like always!" Whis smiles at them before making his exit. The android lets out a sigh of relief with his raging hard-on finally contained. Golden Freeza rises from the water without a word, Cell follows suit and grabs the towel on a nearby bench to dry off. The Hakaishin takes a seat on the stone bench and waits patiently for the insect to pat his body dry. Next, he starts dressing the pampered ruler into his Godly garb, actively fighting against the Hakaishin who refuses to budge an inch from his seated position. Once made presentable he carries him in his arms down the hall towards the outside dining area, a beautiful veranda with a gorgeous view of the lake. Whis lays plates of fresh fruit and pastries out on the table for them to enjoy. Cell walks over to the table and places Golden Freeza in a chair only to be stopped.

"We'll share a seat if you don't mind?" Golden Freeza says sternly.

"Sure, I don't see a problem with that."Cell takes his seat and props the tiny lizard onto his lap.

Whis looks over to his two proteges and smiles."Dig in! I hope you like, I picked them up while on Earth."

Golden Freeza grabs a juicy red apple and bites into it."Not bad, for Earthling slop." After savoring the flavor for himself he brings it up to the android's mouth,"Try it! I assure you It's absolutely divine."Cell leans and takes a bite only to have his sensitive crotch piece stroked by Freeza's crafty tail. The sneaky tail starts to intrude itself between the fissure segmenting his groin region, It searches around until it grabs hold of his hidden member and forcibly starts tugging it out. The android fights to stifle the small muffled moans escaping his mouth while his cock is roused from its slumber.

Whis picks his cup of tea up from the table and takes a sip."How's your morning going so far, gentlemen?"

"F-fine!" Cell replies as his now fully erect arousal rest uncomfortably between his lover's legs.

The Hakaishin chuckles, he reaches for his own cup of tea and takes a hardy sip."It's going splendidly so far, you wouldn't believe how productive it's been. Speaking of productivity, I'm making plans to destroy my first planet as a God."

"That's great to hear, my Lord. Mind filling me in on the details?"

"I'm still in the deliberation process, but I'll be sure to get back to you when the necessary time occurs." The galactic tyrant lowers his cup to the table, he leans back intentionally pressing against Cell's aggravated boner. He puts his mouth to the androids ear to relay his intimate request,"Fuck me." He whispers.

"Right now!?"Cell blurts out in shock. Freeza responses by maneuvering his tail from his pants and strategizing lowering them below his hips. Cell's eyes rapidly shift over to the smiling angel and back over to his impatient lover, he rests his shaky hands around the Icejin's hips and slowly lowers him down onto his hardened cock. Golden Freeza glances behind his back and smirks when he feels himself being entered from behind. Cell becomes ingratiated by the warmth of Freeza's vaginal walls wrapping around his throbbing dick, somehow he manages to keep a straight face in spite of the enormous pressure on his groin.

"Do you plan to train today, Freeza-Sama?"

Golden Freeza casually takes another sip of his tea."Of course, I have a rigorous schedule in store for Cell and I today." Suddenly the android becomes overpowered as Freeza's powerful cloacal muscles clamp down while his prehensile penis simultaneously strokes his shaft. Cell's foot starts to thump against the floor uncontrollably while he fights urgently to contain himself around Whis.

"Curse you..." Cell murmurs. He grabs the Icejin by the waist and attempts to lift him off but his pulsating member remains firmly lodged in companions tight cloacal cavity. While being held up Golden Freeza tightens around the head of his penis eliciting an audible moan from Cell's lips. The kind-hearted angel places his hand to his mouth and blushes. "Excuse me...I-I gotta take care of something!" Cell exclaims nervously. He places his hands underneath the little lizard's armpits and carries him out the room, his body thankfully covering up their covert copulation session. Cell takes off for the hallway abandoning the confused angel at the breakfast table.

Whis removes his hand from over his mouth and lets out a long sigh,"If only Beerus-Sama were here to see this."

Cell frantically races down the hall to find a good spot to finish off Freeza.The android locates an unassuming hallway and proceeds to slam Golden Freeza's chest against a wall. The lower half of Freeza's godly attire is removed and tossed to the floor below. With his large hands firmly pressed against his spine, he then gets to work thrusting into Freeza from behind. "I don't know whether or not to be pissed off or aroused by that stunt you pulled back there."

Freeza turns his head back slightly and exchanges a sharp leer." I thought you revel in degenerate acts of fornication, Bugboy? Don't tell me you're concerned about politeness?"

"You normally act like sex is burdensome, I wasn't expecting you to be so naughty." Cell slaps his hand hard against Freeza's ass inducing a scream of pleasure from the Hakaishin. He doesn't let go, instead opting to squeeze until violet handprints are branded onto his golden cheeks."You like that, don't you!? You dirty slut!" Immediately following his comment the insect finds his neck being lassoed by the Icejin's bulky tail.

"You dare insult your God in such a manner?! Now beg for forgiveness, you filthy heathen!" Lightheadedness and nausea sets in as Cell's thick neck muscles are uncomfortably compressed. Blue swatches over his face, his eyes half-lidded as he fights to remain conscious. After a few minutes of excruciating strangulation, Golden Freeza realizes that the insect is actually enjoying his torture and relinquishes his hold. Once freed the raging insect increases his pace hammering his dick mercilessly into the cornered Hakaishin. The God Of Destructions ice-cold demeanor finally breaks as he joins his partner in a shared orgasm. Unable to control himself, Cell cums inside, luckily it is quickly ejected by the guarded lizard's internal defense mechanism. Cell puts Golden Freeza down and drops to his knees to help slide his pants back on, as he kneels the Hakaishin rubs his foot against his crown.

"Good boy," He says while look down at his flushed partners face. Soon as the insect lifts himself from off the ground he sees the Icejin staring eye level with his crotch while licking his lips. Golden Freeza leans in and sticks his tongue between the crease going up his groin encouraging his erection to peak out again.

"Damn you!" Cell utters. Freeza turns his back to Cell purposely rubbing the end of his tail against his emerging member as he passes by.

"Let us train, shall we?"

After about 3 hours of nonstop fucking the two villains layout in the courtyard to catch their breath. "I feel like I'm in heaven right now... but then I realize it couldn't possibly be heaven with you around." Golden Freeza lifts himself from the grass, he places his arms behind his back and takes off into the sky, Instinctively the android follows close behind like a lost puppy. They fly past the planet's atmosphere and into the vacuum of space."Do you want to do it in space? I could go for a zero-g fuck session right about now."

"Not quite...Observe." Golden Freeza looks around for a good target before finding an asteroid of suitable size, nearly as large as his tiny planet. He extends his palm out creating a glowing purple orb. The ball soon grows to the approximate size of the asteroid, causing his only bystander's jaw to drop."Hakai!" He lets the Destructive ball of energy collide with the asteroid instantly evaporating it into nothingness.

"That's amazing! You've definitely improved a lot since last time."

"With this power at my disposal, I'll finally get my vengeance on all who have wronged me, starting with Earth!"

"You want to use that power on the Earth?"

"Precisely! My plan is to create a gigantic ball of Hakai energy the size of the Earth's core wherein it will burrow underground and disperse, completely erasing every piece of matter that exist on its surface!"

"Look... I'm completely cool with destroying the Earth and all, But if you erase them we'll never get the chance to challenge them again."

"Ohohohoho! Silly Bugboy. To perfect the art of war you must be willing to dispose of all who oppose you. I've dealt with their meddling long enough to know when it's time to take out the trash... Permanently!" Cell grits his teeth but inevitably accepts the fate of his birth planet."Don't worry your pretty little head, I still need more time to develop my Hakai technique. And think about it this way, before I purge the planet we'll have an all-out battle the likes the universe has never seen before!"

Cell slams his fist against his palm."Now you're talking!" Golden Freeza drifts in front of Cell before seductively bending over and lifting his tail high into the air.

"Time is scarce."

When night falls they once again find themselves entangled in the throes of passion. After finishing up for the millionth time, Cell lays back and stares up at the skylight. His scenic view of the stars is promptly obscured by his lustful lover climbing over his body. When the sneaky tail starts to invade his sheath he expresses his concern, "Can we just talk or something?"

"Oh, getting tired, are we? Perhaps you're not as virile as you make yourself out to be."

"No, it's not that... Although, I could go for an IV drip considering the copious amount of fluid loss I've experienced pleasuring your sweet ass."

"Ohohohohoho! I do have a godly appetite, and it's all thanks to you for making me realize that."

"Hm...I Suppose if Beerus was the God of food that would make you the God of sex? I can only imagine how you'd judge the planets you destroy."

"There's no need when I have the perfect whipping boy at my every beckon call." They exchange a quick smile before Golden Freeza unceremoniously collapses onto Cell's ample chest, his golden sheen fading from his porcelain skin.

The insect cradles the helpless God in his arms. "Hmph, I'm impressed with how long he was able to maintain that form given all we've done today. We'll see how long he can keep up this little sexual escapade of his." Cell shuts his eyes and drifts off to sleep as the moonlight baths their exposed bodies.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pure smut chapter. I usually like to forward plot progression, but I think it's a fun little chapter and I'd rather not condense the story too much. Things start to pick up again in the next chapter.


	18. The Honeymoon Is Over

For the next month, the two immortal beings engage in spurts of sexual intercourse. Despite the Hakaishin insatiable libido, the android was still able to keep him satisfied. When the sun rises Freeza and Cell go about their daily routine after their usual early morning sexcapades. They make their way down the hall towards the living area, when they walk in they find Whis on the couch enjoying his favorite God TV soap operas. Freeza takes a spot on the love seat, while sitting, he shifts around uncomfortably on the cushioning. He looks over to Cell who chooses to remain standing near the entrance of the room. The lizard points down towards his own feet and scowls."Make yourself useful, will you, and serve as a footrest for me."

"No thanks...I think this God business is starting to go to your head."

"I can always materialize an ottoman for you,"Whis says.

"There's really no need when I have the perfect doormat over there."Freeza mocks. Cell chuckles at the Icejin's expense causing him to seethe with frustration. "How about I erase that shit-eating grin off your face for good!" The android doesn't budge, instead his persistent laughter grows louder.

Whis rises from his seat and backs out of the room slowly. "I'll give you two lovebirds your space."

Freeza's sharp eyes remain laser-focused on the insect's amused face."It would seem that a primitive mind such as yours couldn't possibly fathom the threat of nonexistence. How about I level a punishment more befitting of your exceedingly low intellect." The Hakaishin once again point down to his feet," On your knees now, or no more fornicating!"

"Psh...Yeah, like I'm going to believe that. Your sexual gluttony rivals even my own, you couldn't even go a minute without being fucked... Speaking of... You should be the one on your knees right now."

"Is that so? Well, I'm here to clarify that I don't need sex, I want it, and in the end, I always get what I want."Freeza's arrogant smile browbeats the overly confident Insect into submission. He walks over to Freeza and assumes his position on all fours near his feet."Consider this your first lesson in obedience training. Now, be a good little mutt and maybe I'll give you a treat later." Freeza lays his legs on top of Cell's hard plated wings, he kicks the soles of his foot against them in anger when he struggles to find a suitable position." Your wings are too uncomfortable, if not for the mess I'd tear them off your body!" Freeza claps his hands to summon his angelic guardian, the ever attentive angel instantly appears by his side."Whis, fetch me a cushion for my feet and while you're at it, prepare me a glass of red wine."

"Not a problem, Freeza-Sama."Whis lays a soft red cushion on top of Cell's back for Freeza to lay his feet."Might I suggest laying off the wine, my Lord?"

"I'm God! I'll consume whatever beverage I so please!"

"It was just a friendly suggestion. I'll be right back with your glass of wine."Whis bows before heading out to complete his task.

"He's right you know, don't you think it's a bit too early for that?"

"Express your mortal concerns to someone who cares, Bugboy."Once he is done lounging around and drinking, The God Of Destruction and his lover make their way down to the library. It's the largest room in the castle filled with millions of books spanning a multitude of different planets and even universes. Cell rolls his eyes at the ostentatious display of literary works in front of him. Freeza ignores his partners flippantly dismissive slight towards his impressive collection and walks up to one of the several high bookcases. He goes through alphabetically before finding a row that piques his interest, he then glances over to Cell and points his finger up.

"What is it now?" Cell grumbles.

"I need you to lift me up there,"Freeza says while still pointing high up towards the top of the bookcase.

"Ok, now you're being willfully obtuse. Just fly up there and get it yourself."Freeza shoots him another self-assured grin prompting the insect to finally gives in. Cell reaches down and lifts the small Icejin onto his shoulders "It's no skin off my nose, you weigh like 70Ib, so if you're using this to get back at me, you're mistaken." Cell grits his teeth in frustration while Freeza flies up to retrieve a book before landing back down on his broad shoulders. "You could have done that from the beginning you know?"

"Flying takes up energy so I'd rather have a seat waiting for me on the way down." Freeza cracks open the spine of the book and dives nose first into its contents.

"What are you reading?" The curious android inquires.

"I'm researching information on the Super Dragon Balls, not that it's any of your business."

"Super Dragon Balls? I'd hazard a guess they far exceed the limitation of regular Dragon Balls. Let me guess, you plan to use them to bring that child of yours back?"Freeza snarls before taking the book and repeatedly hitting him over the head with it. "Hey, I was just asking! No need to get violent!" Following his outburst, he goes back to his book. Ever the impatient one, Cell devises a plan to get his stubborn lovers attention. He begins to sway a bit before losing his balance completely sending the two crashing to the ground below. The android lands on top of him and starts to kiss him as he lays on the floor.

"What shenanigans are at play here? I demand an answer from you at once!"

"Lighten up, will you? I thought it would be romantic if I pretended to fall on top of you. We haven't done it in the library before. Better get to it."

"That's not romantic it's just stupid, you filthy mongrel!" Cell licks Freeza on the cheek making the small alien simmer with rage."I'm going to choke you with your own leash for that, you disobedient dog! Just you wait!"

"Woof, Woof!" The android says in response. The Hakaishin pushes the aggressive insect from off top of him, he then walks over to retrieve his fallen book. He straightens up its mangled pages and closes it shut, he then gestures with his finger for Cell to come over. Happily, the android obliges only to be ensnared by Freeza's powerful tail and lead out of the library. When they make it to the God Of Destruction's chambers the ill-mannered insect is tossed onto the bed.

"Don't move!" Freeza yells.

"I like where this is going." Cell says as he lays on his stomach in anticipation, his eyes widen when he hears the ear-shattering crack of a whip against the marble floor.

"I didn't say you could speak, you worm!" Freeza's whiplike tail cracks against the exposed portion of Cell's back. He flinches from the intense lashing but quickly grows a custom to the flogging. "Do you like that!? How about that?! And that?!" The overly eager Hakaishin screams as he continuously batters Cells exoskeleton with his tail. "On your back!" Cell eagerly turns over and receives a quick lashing to his soft abdomen, the long scar across it starts seeping blood. With sadistic glee, Freeza leans in and sticks his finger into the open wound before bringing it to his mouth and licking up the blood.

"Why haven't you whipped me before?!"

"Silence! I'll give you a brief ultimatum...apologize for your disobedience... "

"And if I don't?" Cell teases.

Freeza cracks his tail as a warning,"Then I'll keep whipping you until you do!"

Cell crosses his arms in defiance," Well If that's the case, I'm not apologizing." Freeza grinds his teeth in anger at the insects flippant disregard for his orders.

"That's a shame, I had plans to fornicate with you if you complied."

Cell's eyes become huge like saucers,"I'm sorry, please forgive me?"

"This would be far more appealing to me if there was a hint of sincerity in your groveling." He smacks Cell across the face with his tail leaving behind a large scar on his check that quickly heals itself. Freeza rubs under his chin in deep thought, as he gazes over the Androids body laid out on the bed. He climbs on top of him and purposely grazes up against Cell's unwavering erection. "But I'll give you a treat only because I pity your pathetic existence." Freeza lowers himself onto the android's excited member. Things start off unassuming until Cell is caught off guard by a painful pressure in his groin, but this time it isn't his lover's usually forceful embrace but rather something far more malevolent. His penis is squeezed to the point it starts to bend sending a torrent of excruciating pain coursing through his veins.

Cell looks up at Freeza with a fearful look in his eyes."Y-You're not gonna..." In response, the Hakaishin slowly shakes his head in a favorable manner.

"Ohohohoho! You should be enjoying this. Now, I wonder how long it will take you to regenerate your penile protuberance? Two seconds, two minutes, two hours!? Only one way to find out!" He applies even more pressure causing the android to scream in agony. Feeling threatened the insect rummages through his mind for a way out of his tight bind. He puts his hand up to Freeza's face, in response, the lizard erupts into even more uncontrollable laughter. The God only realizes his error in judgment when he finds himself blown back by a powerful Ki blast. His victim promptly takes off into the sky shattering the glass skylight above exposing him to the orange sunset sky above the castle. The android attempts to catch his breath as he frantically thinks of a way out, only to find the angry Hakaishin hovering in front of him. "Where do you think you're going? I'm not done having my fun with you."

"You're off your rocker if you think I'm going to sit back and let you castrate me!"Cell yells.

"I'm afraid the only way to train an obedient dog is to neuter it."

"That makes no sense considering the constant sex we were having!"

Freeza's calm demeanor quickly shifts into that of anger as he gazes at his shocked partners face."Don't play coy with me! You know exactly what you did to me with that thing!" He shifts his head down to avoid direct eye contact with his stunned lover.

"Hm...It all makes sense now... I must have induced pregnancy in you, didn't I? If That's indeed the case, isn't that what you wanted?"

"A God should not be anticipating incubating an egg for 50 years! I will never forgive you for tainting my body with mortal weakness!"

Cell shrugs his shoulders," You're making a bigger deal out of this than it has to be. Just lay the damn thing and smash it...hell, I'll make an omelet out of it for you."

Freeza's face simmers at the sounds of Cell's words hitting his eardrums. "Just smash it!? Just smash it!!!?" Freeza aims his itchy trigger finger squarely between the insect's eyes.

"Hmph, what kind of a threat is that? I haven't seen you train a day since I got here, all you've done is hone your little Hakai energy. If you really think you're going to be a challenge to me or even those weakling Saiyans on Earth you've got another thing coming."Freeza casually flies up and places his hand in front of Cell's face."Hmph, I'd like to see you try." Cell scoffs

Freeza smirks,"Try me." Cell's self-assuredness falters and panic soon sets in when he realizes the gravity of his situation. A glowing mystical energy encompasses his sight as the extended palm starts to shimmer.

Cell's pupils dilate and he once more escapes back into his inner thoughts."I-Is he seriously going to erase me right now!?"

"HAK-" Before the last syllable can even escape the Hakaishin's lips the insect is gone. Freeza stares up at the glowing red sunset in front of him and erupts into roaring laughter. "Ohohohohoho! Scurry away, like the cockroach that you are! Eventually, I'll catch up to you, and when I do..." A terrifying thought instantly crosses his mind as he ponders the possible whereabouts of the runaway. "He could become a serious nuance to me. He knows my weakness, and if that were to happen I'd be erased! I suppose it's time Shima and I had a little heart to heart."

Wind rapidly blows kicking up dirt and sending tumbleweeds careening through the desert. The temperature drops as nightfall vastly approach on the blue planet the android now finds himself standing on. He finally feels safe to open his eyes and view the landscape in front of him. Underneath his feet stands the ruins of his once glorious Cell games arena. "Why do I always come back here? It was as if instinct lead me back to this blasted wasteland!" He crosses his arms and takes in the beautiful sunset in front of him, instead of smiling he frowns at it."I'm finally free to do what I want of my own accord, why then do I feel so empty?" He says while clutching at his chest."I could be having some fun right now, but instead, I feel like I"m still on a leash, like his influence is omnipresent over me... I could just make it all go away, wipe my memories and start off with a clean state... The problem is... when I think about erasing my memories of him I can't bring myself to do it! How can I be perfect when my feelings are impeding my primary objective!" Cell flares up his powerful ki, lighting up the opaque blackness encapsulating the darkening sky before simmering down his energy. He closes his eyes and rest as he thinks over his next course of action.


	19. Stranded

Cell remains perfectly still despite the arrival of the morning sun, the only thing that manages to catch his interest is the whirling blades of a nearby helicopter. Out of curiosity, he glances at the corner of his eye to get a good look at the pesky buzzing aircraft."These human flies are proving to be quite the annoyance... however..."Cell charges his ki at the helicopter in his crosshairs, he shoots causing the craft to explode in a fiery inferno."...I do enjoy swatting them."The large heap of metal crashes to the ground leaving a streak of burning ember in its wake."Why am I wasting my time with these small fries when I could be destroying the planet?!" Cell's restless mind is suddenly interrupted with memories of Freeza's powerful Hakai energy inches from his face causing him to break from his train of thought."I need to think of something to preoccupy my time that doesn't involve destroying the Earth, but what?"

Back in the god realm, the overly confident God Of Destruction makes his way out of his chambers, while exiting he crosses paths with Whis."Good morning, Freeza, Cell-" Whis looks around for the presence of the missing android."Where is Cell? He's usually not too far from you."

"Cell was acting out of turn, so I was left with no choice but to dispose of him," Freeza replies.

Whis gasp, "That's terrible, my Lord! I didn't think it would go that far. Are you ok? You two were pretty close."

Freeza triumphantly puts his hands on his hips and smiles, "Better than ever in fact! I should have done that ages ago!"

"Well, I'm glad you're taking it well, Freeza-Sama."

"Whis, I'm going to need you to contact Shima for me. I need to discuss some important matters with her over tea."

"I'm sure she won't mind. I'll be sure to give her a call."

"Thank you, Whis," Freeza continues his usual morning march down the long hall while rubbing his hands together maniacally. "I highly doubt that idiotic insect would dare to defy me, but just to be on the safe side I should get my affairs in order first."

Meanwhile, on Earth, Cell continues to mull over his inner thoughts. "Am I just going to stand around and wait for him to erase the entire planet? I could just locate his Supreme Kai and erase him first...But something in me isn't allowing me to do it. These...F-feelings are overriding my better judgment. Could it be that I-I... Preposterous! Why would I even think such a thing?! The truth of the matter is, I want to have a fair fight before I destroy him, nothing more, nothing less!" Without warning, the usually vigilant android picks up a familiar voice calling out his name in the distance.

"CELL! CELL!" The annoying voice continues to yell. Cell shifts his eyes over to his left only to see two battle hungry Saiyan warriors leering back at him.

"Well if it isn't Goku and his pipsqueak sidekick Vegeta. I'm curious as to how you found me so quickly?"

" Mr. Satan said he received a phone call saying that a helicopter was shot down over here. The last thing the pilots said before crashing was that they saw you out here. You're lucky he managed to escape in one piece, or I'd be really angry right now." Goku says.

"Mr.Satan, you say? Where is that loveable scamp at? I'd like to have a word with him."

Vegeta steps forward ahead of Goku, "Don't worry about him, your opponent is right here!"

"Awww c'mon, Geta! I thought we were going to fight him together?"

Vegeta crosses his arms and huffs, "I never agreed to any such thing! I would have gladly taken care of this all by myself if you didn't bug me all the time!...besides, you still owe me big time, Kakarot after you destroyed Freeza without my permission."

Cell stamps his feet and rolls his eyes at the two Saiyan's as they argue."If you two are done with your lover's quarrel I'd like to get down to business."

"Hmph, I was waiting for you to power up, as it stands right now I can only assume you have a death wish." Vegeta Gloats.

"Very well...But don't say I didn't warn you."Cell powers up his aura, in response the Saiyans reel back in awe. His blue God ki flares out like a bright beacon of light. His skin's new metallic sheen shines as it is bathed in the radiant blue light. The immense energy finally dies down revealing the new and improved platinum Cell.

Goku looks on slack-jawed at Cell's new transformation, "Holy cow! He's gotten a lot stronger and silvery too!"

"I'm not impressed. Seems like a step down from his boyfriend's golden form if you ask me," The cocky little Saiyan mocks.

The androids brow furrows in anger," I'm platinum! The luster is not even close to silver, but no surprise neither of you dimwits can properly identify precious metals."

Vegeta shoots Cell a cocky smirk that enrages the insect further,"White gold, take it or leave it."

"Well then show me what glorious new form you have, Prince of all Saiyans."The two Saiyan rivals exchange a quick glance at each other before powering up their immense God ki. Cell looks unimpressed as their new blue-haired forms emerge. "Hmph, Is that all? I was honestly expecting more than two angry blueberries."

Vegeta places his hand back to keep his meddling partner from intervening."Keep out of this Kakarot! He's mine!"

Goku starts to pout as he begs his arrogant rival to let him fight."Aww come on Geta, can't I get at least one teeny weeny punch on him?"

"Not a chance!"

Goku finally relents, slumping his shoulders down in defeat, "Fine, just make it quick, ok. It's like torture for me watching you fight a strong enemy like him on your own."

Vegeta turns his attention back to a platinum Cell," As empty-headed as Kakarot can be, he's right, his power level far exceeds that of either of ours. No matter... I'm sure I can still take him down on my own." He thinks to himself.

"Enough with your childish banter, come at me with everything you got... Because if you don't, I-I'm..." The androids thoughts immediately flood with the Hakaishin's plans to destroy the Earth and the very real threat of his erasure. Panicked, Cell places both his hands out in surrender." Wait! I come in peace!"

Vegeta pulls forward only to have his shoulder grabbed by Goku."Let's hear em out, Geta!"

"Hmph, You were just going on about how you would defeat us, now you're expecting me to believe your cordial all of a sudden? You may have fooled Kakarot, but I'm no idiot!"

Cell waves his hands out in front in a frantic attempt to stop Vegeta from attacking."Seriously, I'm not lying. If you fight me now there is a risk we will be erased!"

Is that so? Well then, I'll only believe you if you get rid of that ridiculous form of yours."

Cell grits his teeth at the request to lower his guard but ultimately complies, letting his platinum sheen fade back to a dull green."There, happy now!?" Unsatisfied, Vegeta brushes off Goku's hand accelerates towards Cell.

"HA! You've left yourself wide open to my attack!" Once again he is accosted from behind by Goku. "Let go of me, Kakarot! This is my fight, you hear?!"

"Vegeta! I know you can sense how strong his power level is. You as well as I know that we don't stand a chance against him one on one. I can't let you get yourself hurt! If he decreased his power I'm sure he's being honest with us." Vegeta sneers at Goku before finally relenting.

"Fine, have it your way, Kakarot!... But if he even looks at me the wrong way, I'm taking him down!" Goku smiles at his irritated comrade and they both hesitantly make their approach.

A few hours later at Capsule Corp, a frighten Bulma places her coffee cup on the living room table, her fingers trembling so much that she almost spills it on the floor. The Saiyans and Cell relay their prior conversation, much to her shock. Bulma places her hands down on her lap and nervously looks over at the large humanoid android standing across from her.

"Y-you're telling me that Freeza is the new God Of Destruction and that he plans to erase the Earth from existence!?"

"Did I stutter, woman!?" Cell sneers.

Bulma looks away from Cell and lowers her head," Whis told us that Beerus had passed, but he didn't tell us who the new God Of Destruction would be the last time we saw him. I can't believe that maniac has the power of the Gods at his disposal. We're done for!"

"Hmph, I want him to bring his sorry butt here so I can finally rid the universe of him for good."

Goku scratches his head nervously, "I feel bad, I wonder if it's my fault for bringing up his dead child?"

The android snickers at the spiky-haired man's ill-informed commentary."Freeza is a woman, but not just any woman... She's a huge bitch! I witnessed it first hand when she tried to erase me! Whatever "mortal attachments" she had with anything is long gone now."

"Freeza is a woman?!" Bulma shrieks.

Vegeta bares his teeth at Cell, "Impossible! Freeza's race doesn't have females or even males for that matter, they're self-reproducing!"

"Hmm... I'm sure I would know better then you considering I was the one fucking her after all... unless there is something you're dying to tell your wife?"

Bulma immediately gets up from her seat while in a fit of nervous laughter, "H-haha...I'm sure you guys are hungry? Stay right there while I grab us some snacks." Bulma hurries off into the kitchen leaving the 3 warriors to continue their discussion.

Vegeta gives Cell the side eye from across the room, "I still don't trust you. When this is all over with, I'm sending you back to Hell with your boyfriend."

"Hmph, I fucked your boyfriend..." The volume mutes throughout the once chatty room for a brief instance. Vegeta turns to the Saiyan sitting beside him with a look of shock.

"Kakarot..." Vegeta quickly changes his sad expression to one of revulsion."What are you talking about? I don't have a boyfriend."

"Geta, please... I'm sorry! I didn't think it would be a big deal since we're seeing other people anyway." Goku rest his hand on Vegeta's shoulder only to have it slapped away by the disgruntled prince.

Vegeta proceeds to turn his nose up at Goku in disgust, "So you admit...I just can't believe my own rival would stoop so low to have sex with a disgusting enemy like him!"

"Geta, please!?" Vegeta stomps out the room in a fit of rage leaving Goku dumbfounded at the event that just transpired.

Cell jeers while his most hated enemies relationship crumbles before his eyes, "You know, we could have sex again right now?"

Goku scratches his head in confusion, "Wait...wouldnt that make the situation worse? "

"Of course it would, "Cell replies nonchalantly.

"Sorry, I gotta go...Geta! Wait!" Goku runs out of the room to confront his spurn partner leaving the bug staring out at an empty couch. After a prolonged leave, Bulma steps back into the living area with bags of food overflowing in her hands.

"I didn't know what everyone liked so I just grabbed..." She looks off at the now empty couch that the two Saiyan rivals previously shared and slowly over to the gigantic bug standing near the entrance."Oh my God! He's staring back at me! I've never been stuck in a room alone with a bug this big before. Are you kidding me Vegeta and Goku, leaving me alone at a time like this?!"She thinks to herself. Bulma walks past the alert insect and takes a seat on the chair to his left, she lets out a long sigh as Cell's keen eyes follow her every movement."There has to be more to it than that..."

"More to what!? Spit it out, woman!"

"To you and Freeza's relationship. It's no secret that you two have been extra chummy as of late. I'm really starting to believe the rumors are true. I mean...why come to us for help? I thought you wanted to destroy the Earth, why not just do it? Sure, you risk being erased by Freeza, but wasn't she going to erase you anyway?"

Cell aims directly at Bulma, "If you cherish your precious life you'll cease your hysterical gossiping! What Freeza and I had was merely sexual. I could give a damn about him or his feelings!"

"Go ahead and kill me, and then what will happen? Of course, my husband and Goku would take care of you, or you defeat them and destroy the Earth. Either way, you get erased or sent back to Hell where you belong."

Cell puts his hand down and crosses his arms in defeat." You've got a lot of chutzpah to talk to me in such a manner, I honestly can't imagine how Vegeta puts up with you."

"Well get used to it cause you're staying here with us. We have to keep an eye on you until we come up with a plan to stop Freeza from erasing the Earth. But ya know... I've also been interested in studying you. Biology has never been my strong suit, but I've always been curious about how Dr. Gero created you."

Cell smirks at Bulma. "Hmm...You Earth women are rather forward with your advances...But if you're looking for a personal Guinea pig, look elsewhere."

Bulma shrugs her shoulders, "I suppose it was worth a shot." She glances up at Cell and notices the android shutting his eyes, the shadow of his headdress slightly obscuring his resting eyelids. "You look tired, If you need somewhere to rest I have the perfect place for you to stay while you're here. I know dads not going to like it, but we really have no choice right now."

Cell opens one of his eyes to look over at Bulma, "Fine... if it gets me away from you."

"Alrighty, follow me!" Bulma leads Cell down to the large Basement area of Capsule Corp, the Inside is filled with machine parts, storage crates and old projects Mr. Brief had long given up on." Here it is! Sorry for the clutter, dad can get ahead of himself at times with his work." Cell's keen eyes carefully scan the large open room as they descend the stairs."Make yourself at home, there's even a futon over there in the corner for you to sleep on. Dad sometimes gets so wrapped up in his work that he forgets to sleep, which is why I put that down there for him."

"It's no cave, but it'll do, for now... " Cell walks over to the wall and knocks on it to test its structural integrity.

Bulma turns around and starts making her way back up the metal stairs, "It's still early, are you coming back up?"

"Just bring me my damn dinner when it's ready, woman!"

"Hmph, a little gratitude would be nice, ya know." Bulma walks back up the stairs and leaves the android once again alone with his racing thoughts. He stares blankly at the grey wall unable to process his jumbled thoughts, or even express them to someone who would care. He punches a hole in the wall out of frustration, trying his best not to destroy the entire structure as he does.

"Damn you! You've taken my perfection away from me! I don't even know why I'm living anymore! Erasure would be preferable to the irreparable suffering you've inflicted upon me! Here I am, cowering in some woman's basement because I don't want to make you upset...not destroying you because of some pathetic hope that I'll get to see you again!" Cell decides to shut his heavy eyes and allow the reality around him to fade in favor of his dreams, while he awaits the next nuisance to wake him again.


	20. Tea For Two

Whis sets the dining table up neatly for the arrival of their guest, Freeza, on the other hand, is plotting his next move." This has to be executed perfectly. If I fail and arouse the suspicion of Whis who knows how he'll react. It might even be enough to implicate me in Beerus's death." He takes a quick exhale." This is no time to get careless. You've gotten away with much worst in the past, don't let consequence deter you."Freeza thinks to himself.

Whis steps back to get a good look at his handy work,"She should be here any moment, Freeza-Sama," Whis informs his God Of Destruction. Just as he completes his statement a loud ring reverberates throughout the spacious castle. "That must be her! I'll go get the door." Whis leaves the Hakaishin on his own in the dining area of the veranda. He taps his feet on the ground in anxious anticipation of his guest arrival. As the minutes tick away he lays his head down on the table out of boredom only to be jolted up by the sounds of approaching footsteps. The Hakaishin lifts his head up to greet his startled guest.

"Thank you for coming at such short notice."

"It's no problem at all, Freeza."The attentive Hakaishin gets up from his seat and guides Shima over to a chair, he pulls out one and politely bows to her."Oh...you really don't have to do all that."

"You're my guest, it's the least I can do for intruding on your important work."Shima smiles and takes her seat, Freeza then pushes in her chair and takes his own. The tall Angel quietly chuckles at The God Of Destruction's unusually cordial display.

"I'll be right back with your tea." Whis exits the veranda leaving the two connected God's with their conversation.

"So, what has been new with you, Shima? Create any new planets and what have you?"

"Now that you mention it, I'm working on my first planet. It's not exactly new, I'm picking up on a project that my brother unfortunately, wasn't able to finish."

"Yes, so I've heard. His untimely passing must be taking its toll on you?

"Yes, of course," Shima responds. Whis comes back to the veranda carrying a metal tea tray, he places their cups on the table and begins to fill them with Kaoishin tea. The little Kai picks up her cup and blows on the piping hot liquid before taking a sip."He did discuss with me the possibility of taking over his position at some point, we just didn't expect it to be a dire situation like this."

"Indeed, this is a rather peculiar occurrence. As you both are well aware of by now, If the link tethering your souls together is cut you are both erased. I'm sure that is something Lord Freeza would like to discuss with you today."

"Yes, I'm well aware of that..."Shima exclaims.

Freeza lifts his teacup up and takes a long sip before sitting it back down on its saucer."If that's the case, then why are Gods and their respective Kais forced to live apart from one another?" The three celestial beings sit in silence, Freeza's inquiry lingering heavy in the air. After the brief lapse in conversation, Whis steps in to speak his mind.

"It's important that a Supreme Kai has space to foster their abilities to nourish life throughout the universe," Whis explains.

"I'm just saying that there should be safeguards in place to prevent what happened to lord Beerus. It's obvious that someone with malicious intent knows how to access the Kai realm, or it may even be possible that Shin's killer is among its inhabitants."

"That is indeed a possibility, but my point still stands," Whis rebukes.

Freeza picks up his teacup and brings it in for another sip followed by a long sigh." Very well, then I suppose we should discuss other methods of keeping her safe?"

"I don't mind periodically checking up on her if you think that's necessary.?"

"That wouldn't work, your assistance is needed here with me and besides, she'll still be vulnerable during the times you can't be with her." Freeza's sharp eyes examine Kai's fragile frame." What amount of training have you acquired? Your power level is somehow even more minuscule than that brother of yours."

"Unfortunately not much, I've been hitting the books lately to catch up to my brother. "The female kai reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small blue notebook. "It may not look like much, but this book has all of Shin's notes in it. It's important that I study them carefully."

"You know, I have the most extensive collection of books in the Universe, I can take you there if you like? I'm sure you'll find something of interest there."

"Oh? You mean the Akashic Records? I've always wanted to see them...That is, if you don't mind?"

Freeza grins as he once again balances his teacup on its saucer."Why of course... after all, my home is your home."

Whis leans in and whispers in his ear."Are you ok without my assistance, Freeza-Sama?"

"Go about your day, Whis. I'll show her around."

"Alright, just try not to get lost like last time," Whis says with a wide grin. The Hakaishin sneers at the white-haired angel before rising from his chair, he walks over to Shima and extends his hand out to her. Freeza sees a slight blush staining her plum-colored cheeks prompting him to egg her on even more.

"Let us go, shall we?" Shima grabs hold of The God Of Destructions awaiting hand and is lifted up from her seat."Follow me," Freeza says while he waves her on, she follows close behind as they take their long stroll down to the library.

"I'm very excited to look through your collection, from what I've heard it even contains books from long extinct civilizations. I think maybe it will help me understand some of my brother's notes, many of the societies he speaks of are long gone now."

"Yes, I too think of the arduous amount of work I'm going to have to do to match even half of what Lord Beerus did in his lifetime. I suppose you can say that we both have big shoes to fill." Shima looks over at Freeza, the same opaque blush still visible on her cheeks.

"But if we work together and do the research and training we need, we'll whip this universe back into shape in no time!" Shima exclaims.

Freeza exchanges a disingenuous smile with the overly enthusiastic Shima as he berates her gullibility in his thoughts."Seems I have managed to work my charms on her. How pathetic and droll of her, she barely even knows me, yet she's fawning over me like some starstruck adolescent. It's clear to me that a Kai like this cannot safely be left unsupervised." After a long trek down multiple flights of stairs, they reach a large door at the basement level of the Castle. Freeza turns the vault-like turn wheel until it swings open, he then stands near it and bows." Ladies first," He says politely." Without haste, the Supreme Kai walks into the dark room and is instantly taken aback by its hollow, cryptic interior.

"This isn't the room of records!" She shrieks.

"Excuse the rather drab decor, Whis and I are currently renovating the place...but you are correct in your assessment, this is indeed not the room of records." The Kai remains perfectly still while Freeza's well-lit shadow looms over her. "Ohohohoho! This is a dungeon, my dear, Shima... and it will be your home for the next eternity!" Before the Kai can turn around she is accosted from behind by the lizard, he grabs her by the wrist pinning her to the ground. "You're too naive for your own good. If I left to your own devices you'd be liable to get us killed." The Kai struggles to try to free herself as she starts to feel cuffs clasp her bound hands."It's a good thing I brought these with me.There is no point in struggling. Those are Ki cancelling bracelets. Essentially your powers are now rendered useless, so if I were you I'd comply." Freeza cracks his tail against the cold dungeon floor as a warning.

"KAI-"Her words are cut short by Freeza's massive tail wrapping itself around her mouth.

"Don't think I forgot about that little chant you spout before teleporting." Freeza grabs a roll of duck tape and a cloth from his waistband. He stuffs the cloth in her mouth and tapes the Kai's mouth shut to prevent her from speaking. Freeza pushes her down on her side and laughs."Ohohoho! Enjoy your stay." He closes the door behind him leaving the frightened Kai alone in complete darkness. The happy god skips back up the stairs, as he makes his way up he runs into his master, Whis.

"That was quick. Where is Shima?"

"After we located a few books that interested her she went back home...And we need not worry about her safety, I managed to get a good arrangement together with her. I can assure you she's in good hands." Whis smiles and nods his head in agreement and they both go their separate ways.

Back on Earth, Cell is still fast asleep in an attempt to block out his current predicament, suddenly he awakes from his slumber. His nose picks up on an alluring scent emanating from upstairs, it's then that he hears a knock on the basement door. "Dinner is ready, Cell! I'm coming in, ok!?"

Cell grits his teeth,"You don't have to tell me! Just come in already!"

Bulma kicks open the door and quickly stomps her way down the stairs. She walks right up to the cocky insect still standing in the spot she left him hours earlier. "I'm the one feeding your ungrateful butt, the least you can do is be thankful!"

"Hmph, you act as though I want to eat your slop. I was eating like a king on a daily basis when I was with Freeza."

"Oh, so you're telling me that Freeza can cook now? Funny, I never took her for the domestic type."

"No, but she could actually afford the best chefs on her base, unlike this trash heap you're trying to feed me."

"I'll let you know that I too can afford the best chefs money can buy, I just choose to cook my own food. When I was a teenager I lived out on my own and couldn't rely on my dad's money to feed me, so I had to learn certain household skills on my own."

"Blah, blah... I didn't ask for your life story, woman! Just hand over the grub!" Cell reaches for his plate only to have Bulma pull it away from him.

"Nah ah ah... After what you said about my cooking I don't think you deserve dinner tonight."

"Just hand it over!" He yells.

"Fine, take it!" She passes the plate over to the irate android who proceeds to stare at in disgust."Oh, come on! It's just a little chicken and rice with teriyaki sauce. Don't turn your nose up at something if you haven't even tried it." Cell grumbles under his breath before reaching for his fork, he mixes a bit of the chicken with the rice and brings it up to his mouth. He pauses for a second leaving the fork next to his lips. "Stop being so over dramatic and just eat it." The stubborn android finally takes a bite, Bulma giggles when she sees his eyes instantly light up from the flavor hitting his taste buds" So, how is it?"

"It's ok, I guess...What do you want, some kind of award for mediocre cooking?"

"That wasn't exactly the reaction of someone who just ate mediocre cooking... but have it your way. I'm used to dealing with Vegeta's stubbornness so I know when to back off."

Cell taps his fork against his plate,"Don't you have a husband and son to be eating with right now?"He sneers.

"Well, Vegeta is still missing, he got into an argument with Goku over god knows what... and as for Trunks... it's hard to get him to stay in one place he's always off playing with one of his gadgets. Unfortunately, family dinners have become a rarity for us nowadays." The android snarls at the blue-haired woman angrily before she finally gets the hint. "If you wanted me to leave you could have just said so you know." Bulma turns around and begins to walk up the stairs, as she ascends she looks back out of curiosity. Bulma smiles when she sees the android gobbling down his plate of food in the corner. "You're welcome," She whispers before closing the door behind her.


	21. Be A Good Dad

"BULMA!" A loud Male voice yells followed by a loud crash. The blue haired woman sighs as she rounds the corner into the kitchen.

"What is it, dad..." Suddenly she pauses, her eyes widen in terror at the sight before her."Oh my god...they're huge! Where did they come from?!" She squeals while taking cover behind a wall.

"I should be the one asking you that," Mr.Brief replies while desperately trying to keep the hoard of blue insects at bay. "I've tried everything from bug spray to stun guns, but nothing seems to stop them!" The rambunctious insects raid the fridge and all the cabinets for food as the two scientists stand idly by unable to stop their rampage. "When is the last time you checked up on that android of yours? I'm sure this has something to do with its self-replicating abilities."

"Oh my God! I totally forgot about him!"

"That's kind of a big thing to forget, Bulma!"

"I know, it's just that...over time he stopped responding to my dinner calls. He's been so quiet down there that it completely slipped my mind. As for these little guys, I wonder what compelled him to make so many of them?"

"Beats me, all I know is that we have to contain them before they completely destroy the house!" The scruffy old man stares at his daughter until he gets the proper response from her. She sighs as she starts to register his expectations of her.

"Fine, I'll go down to the basement and see if I can get him to help us."

"Be careful, Bulma," Dr. Brief says as a small blue insect rummages through his hair and snatches the glasses from his face.

"Don't worry about me, dad I can handle it!" Minutes later she finds herself descending down to the basement in a large freight elevator."Be calm Bulma, it's only been around...Has it really been nearly an entire month!?" She pauses her thoughts, letting the cold mechanical thud of the elevator take over for the noises in her head. Once reaching the basement level of the capsule Corp building she slowly creeps up and quietly knocks on the door. The light knocks soon become louder when she fails to get a response from the reclusive insect.

"That's it, Cell! I'm coming in!" Bulma yells at the top of her lungs. She violently twists the doorknob but fails to get it to budge. Not giving up so easily, she takes her foot and kicks the door repeatedly with no luck. "What is with this door!? It's like it's been glued shut! Hmm... looks like I'm going to have to use my power tools to get it open." After around 30 mins of unhinging the door, she finally manages to get it to open. As she enters there still remains a small resistance in the form of sticky green goo coating the other side of the door. "What is this stuff?" Bulma exclaims as her hands accidentally graze against the viscous substance. She recoils in disgust when she gets a closer look at what her hand just touched.

She grabs hold of her mouth in an attempt to remain composed. "Ugh... I think I'm going to throw up! If I knew he would do this I wouldn't have let him stay here." After the initial shock wears off she cautiously descends the stair, while doing so she discovers that the familiar goo is also covering the walls of the basement. "No way! Dad is going to kill me when he sees this!" Her eyes then wander over to the right side of the room where she finds the insect suspended on the wall in a sticky cocoon, his face the only portion of his body still visible. Upon discovering the sleeping android she quickly reaches for a can of bug spray from her utility belt and sprays it in his face." Time to wake up, sleeping beauty!" Cell starts to uncontrollably cough from the fumes entering his delicate nasal passages, after the cloud of mist clears he snarls at the human woman in anger.

"You've crossed the line now, woman!" Cell hisses.

"Save the theatrics for later! You completely trashed my basement, and you let your little hellspawn run amok in my house!"

"You're in no position to make demands!"

"Neither are you, after all, you know what will happen to you if you lay a finger on me." Cell grinds his teeth together as he stares down at the overconfident scientist. "I've got a question. What is all this sticky stuff you covered the walls in?"

"Just some regurgitated plant matter. Thought I'd spruce the place up a bit."

Once again the blue haired woman catches herself from vomiting."Agh! It's no wonder Freeza kicked you out, this is filthy...And another thing... Why did you create so many babies? There were like 13 of them in the kitchen harassing my father and now I'm finding out one of them followed Trunks to school today."

"It's not something I can control while hibernating, it just happens. Anyway, you should be happy that my son wanted to pursue an education."

Bulma points her finger directly at the insect giving him momentary pause."That's just it... It should be you taking them to school, and it should be you making sure they behave themselves. I've got it! For now on you're Perfect Cell, responsible single father of 13."

"Single father of 13!" 

"Yep, soon as you clean up this mess you made."

Cell flares up his Ki enough to break from his cocoon and glides down to meet Bulma."Why should I?"

"Because if you don't, no dinner for you."

"Well then, I'll just go back to sleep."

"If you do that I'll send Vegeta and Goku to take care of you, and we all know how that little scenario would end."

"Fine, whatever..." Cell mumbles under his breath. "So where are the little Dickens at?"

"They're upstairs in the kitchen. I have no clue how they got out of the basement though."

"Fine, I'll handle your infestation problem. I'm starving anyway."

"Are you going to eat them?! Don't do that, just put them to bed!" Bulma shrieks

"Put them to bed? Oh?... like a perfectly normal human father? Sure, I'll play along." When the two make it back to the kitchen they find Mr. Brief hiding under a table fighting back a few of the curious Cell jrs with a broomstick. Cell looks at his rambunctious children and laughs. "You little rugrats, always getting into trouble." The android takes aim at a lone Cell Jr eating a jar of jam from the refrigerator.

"What are you doing!" Bulma yells in shock. Before she could stop him, he shoots a small ki blast at the innocent creature killing it instantly. Cell walks up to the fridge and bends down to grab the chard remains by the leg. He holds it up in the air as a multitude of wide eyes gawks at his macabre trophy. "Go to bed now, or you'll all end up like this." The terrified insects drop what they're doing and line up behind a Cell in a perfect single file line." Hmph, I guess that makes me a single father of 12 now."

"Wel-ll work on your disciplinary methods later," Bulma says with her face plastered with a look of shock. They make it back to the basement and tuck all 12 Cell jr's on the futon in the corner "Alright, now that you've taken care of that, you're going to have to clear all this mess up by tomorrow."

"Hmph, you think you can bark orders at me, woman!? Quite frankly that makes me angry, but the fact that you doubt that I can clean this room does even more!"

"Well then, prove me wrong." Bulma turns her back to Cell and starts to walk back up the stairs.

The android shakes his fist at her,"Come sunrise this basement will be spotless, you here?!"

"Don't let me down," Bulma says with a wink before exiting the room. The next morning as Bulma prepares breakfast for her family, she hears the loud unmistakable footsteps of the bio-android coming up the stairs. He walks over to the kitchen with his hands folded, his 12 children not far behind him. Trunks sit at the kitchen table across from his little sister Bulla awaiting his breakfast when he catches a glimpse of the tall green insect.

He points his finger towards Cell,"Is that the big scary bug man living in our basement!? He's not that scary looking."

"Don't push it, brat! I was the one who killed your future self!"

Bulma waves her hands to defuse tension."Haha...Cell, what are you doing up here?"

"Weren't you the one that said I should take my kids to school today?"

"Sorry, I almost forgot." Bulma walks away from the stove for a moment to get a good look at the tiny Cell jr's lined up like ducklings behind their father. She clasps her hands together in awe." Aww, they're actually pretty cute when they're behaving themselves."

"Whatever, just get done with breakfast! I'm starving over here!"

After breakfast, Bulma walks Trunks to the door and gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Have a good day, sweetie." Trunks looks behind her at the small blue bugs standing at the far side of the room.

"They're not coming with me to school, are they? That stupid bug got me in trouble the other day."

"No, they're too young for your grade. Now run along before you're late for class."

"Yes, mom," Trunks flies off into the sky as his mother waves him goodbye.

"Why aren't you taking your offspring to school?" Cell sneers.

"Because Trunks is older now, your kids are younger. It's only right to take them to the bus on their first day of school." Bulma looks at the tiny bugs."Have you named them?"

"Number 31, Number 32, Number-"

Bulma puts her hands on her hips and scolds the android with an accusatory finger," Those aren't real names."

"I'll name my children whatever I damn well please!" Cell snaps. Bulma walks up to the android while carefully eyeing him up and down. "See something you like?"

"I have the perfect thing to go with your look!" She speeds down the hallway past her confused Saiyan husband. When she gets back to the befuddled android in the living room she is carrying a strange silky violet cloth. Bulma holds the object up to his chest and smiles."This tie would look great on!" The android grimaces but ultimately let's the enthused woman put it around his robust neck. Just as Bulma is straightening up the tie her nosey husband enters the room."Breakfast is on the table, hun! You might want to heat it up first."

Vegeta stomps over to his wife,"What are you doing tightening that hideous monstrosities necktie?"

"Someones jealous," Bulma playfully mocks.

"I'm not jealous! I just don't appreciate that thing wearing my clothes!"

Cell sends a cocky smirk in Vegeta's direction,"You have a lot more to be concerned about then me wearing your tie."

"What was that?!" Vegeta hisses.

Bulma steps in to separate the two,"No need to fight over little ole me."

"It's not about you, it's about my god damn necktie!"

Bulma points her finger towards the kitchen,"Kitchen, now!" Vegeta grumbles incoherently before leaving for the kitchen. "Now that you're dressed the part, let's take your kids to the bus."At the bus stop, Krillin is there seeing his daughter Marron off for her first day of school.

"Have fun, Marron!" Krillin says while waving his daughter goodbye. Suddenly he hears a familiar voice behind him.

"Hows it going, my short bald friend?"The small man looks back and jumps when he sees the intimidatingly tall android standing right behind him.

"No way...C-Cell!"

"How are you this perfect morning?"

"I'm swell, thank you-" Krillin's eyes instantly bulge from their sockets when he sees the 12 Cell jr's run past him towards the yellow school bus.

Cell waves to his children as they pile onto the bus,"Have fun, my precious children! Behave yourselves!"

"Are you serious right now?"Krillin replies with a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Yes, he is," An intrusive female voice interjects. "He's a changed man now."

Krillin scratches the back of his head nervously,"Well I'll be gosh darn."

"She's right, you know. I'm now a responsible father of 12 adoring children that I wouldn't trade for the world. Instead of blowing up a bus full of happy children, I want to make sure they have a safe trip to school."

"You don't say..." Krillin desperately looks for a change in the conversation as the bus pulls off. He looks at the purple tie hanging around the insect's neck, "Snazzy tie you got there."

"Why thank you! I picked it up at an undisclosed male-oriented department store some days ago."

"I actually helped him pick it out,"Bulma adds. Krillin motions for Bulma to come in closer, she leans down for him to whisper in her ear.

"Why is he here? I thought he was with Freeza?" Krillin whispers.

"Look, I can't let you in on all the details, but for now he's staying at my place. He's been down since breaking up with Freeza. Do you happen to know anyone who might be interested? I want to get his mind off of her."

"Woah, Woah! Slow down... hmm... maybe Launch? I mean she did date a three-eyed freak like Tien. I'm not sure creepy crawlies are her thing though."

"Hold that thought, I'll get back to you about that later. Thanks, Krillin."

"Hehe...no problem, anytime."

 The pair walk off after the awkward exchange at the bus stop, when they make it back to Capsule Corp they are greeted by Goku waiting near the front door. "Hi, Bulma! Hi, Cell!"

"Hows it going, Goku? Are you waiting for Vegeta?"

"Yep, we're going to train today!" Goku's eyes suddenly lock onto Cell. "Something's different about you... You're wearing one of them leashes Chichi makes me wear during fancy dinners."

"I'm wearing a necktie, you moron..." Cell snickers.

"He bought it for his first day at his new corporate executive job."

Cell gives Bulma a disgruntled look."Since when am I a corporate exclusive? We never agreed to that!"

"If you're a single bachelor with 12 children you need a high paying executive job."

"Face the facts! I'm just an unemployable, handsome freak that lives in your basement! No one in their right mind would hire a monster like me!"

"Well I offered you a job working for us but you turned it down! The only one you have to blame for that is yourself!" Enraged, Cell raises his hand to Bulma prompting Goku to take on a defensive posture. The insect throws his hands up in defeat, he enters the house slamming the door so hard it breaks."I'll see you later, Cell!" Bulma says with a smile.

"Are you sure it's safe for him to stay here with you, Bulma?"

"Let the little prima donna pout in his room for a while, eventually he's going to want to get a job and a place of his own."


	22. The Roll Of The Dice

Later that night after Bulma is done making dinner for her family, she prepares a plate of food for the hungry android."He hasn't left the basement since that silly argument we had earlier. I'm sure this will cheer him right up!" She takes hearty scoops of food filling up three extra large plates and placing it on a serving tray."He better not ask for seconds after this." She puts the plates onto a cart and wheels it over to the freight elevator. She gets in and presses the basement floor button when the elevator reaches its destination she exits while wheeling the cart of food. Once reaching the door she speaks to the insect on the other side."Dinner is ready, Cell!" The blue haired woman then walks over to a platform lift near the door, the platform slowly lowers her into the room. To her shock, the basement is immaculate with no visible signs that the grotesque bug nest was even there a day prior."Wow! Color me surprised! This place looks great!" The reclusive android stands against the wall staring off at the other side of the room. Instead of the usual cocky response, she is met with radio silence.

"I know you heard me! Your dinner is ready!" She abandons the cart and walks up to the stern insect to get his attention." I just wanted to let you know that you did a good job today, the basement looks fantastic." She frowns when she fails to get a response from Cell."Oh, cheer up! You're strong, intelligent, handsome, I'm 100% sure someone will hire you eventually."

"Are you dense, woman? I don't care about getting a job or living up to the expectations of a mundane human father. I just..."

Cell's words rest silently in the air, his train of thought thwarted by his inner turmoil."It's undeniable... he loves Freeza,"Bulma thinks to herself. She swallows her saliva nervously and looks up to the tall green bug man standing beside her."I really hope that what I'm about to do isn't going to come back to bite me in the ass...literally!" She reaches over and grabs his armor-plated forearm."I can imagine it must get lonely down here for you?"

Cell looks down at the small human woman clinging to his arm,"Are you coming on to me right now?"

"It's not a big deal if we do anything. Vegeta and I happen to have an open relationship."

"Are you serious!?" He says with a surprised look on his face. Bulma responds with a cheerful smile, her big blue eyes hidden for a split second behind her heavy eyelids.

"Why not have a little fun while the kids are still upstairs? It's not like there will be any emotional attachment to it...I mean, it's just sex right?" The insect immediately gives the woman his full attention after she makes her intentions fully known to him. She steps away to lean up against a metal table, the intrigued insect follows after her. She sits on the table but quickly finds herself being forced onto it by the large creature.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Cell murmurs.

Bulma shakes her head in agreement."*Gulp* Here's hoping my hunch is correct." She thinks while feeling the android's large hand gently caressing her inner thigh. Soon as Bulma feels his other hand fondling her breast she starts to have second thoughts about her earlier assumption. After feeling Bulma up for a bit Cell starts to lean in closer. The piercing fuschia eyes of the android linger onto hers causing the woman to blush slightly. As he moves in for the kiss, she shuts her eyes in anticipation only to be met with nothing but dead air. When she finally reopens them she finds Cell's face just above her own. The two's lips remain inches from touching, but the uncharacteristically shy bug refuses to budge."I knew it! You can't kiss me, can you!?"

"That's preposterous! Why would you make such an idiotic statement!?" A flustered Cell replies.

Bulma taps her chin in deep thought,"Hmm...I get it now. She was your first, wasn't she?"

"What!?Are you mad, woman!? Of course not!"

"Well, if that's not true, why can't you kiss me?"In a fit of rage, Cell presses her body on the table and proceeds to move back in for a kiss only to again freeze before their lips can meet."HA! I knew you wouldn't be able to do it. Just admit it, you still have feelings for her." Cell steps away from the table and averts eye contact from Bulma. She lifts herself up and glances over at the insect."It's ok if your first time expressing yourself sexually was with her. Even if you don't want to admit it, you're still bonded to her."

Cell's face seeps with venom after each compounding word hits his eardrums until he completely loses his composure."You're nothing compared to her! She's far more funny, intelligent and beautiful than you will ever be! This is even ignoring the fact that you can't even handle me! If I were to fuck a pathetic, weakling human female like you, I'd split you in half!"

The blood in Bulma's face run cold." Wow... that didn't hurt my feelings at all" She says to herself sarcastically. The scientist recovers from her bruised ego to console the flustered android. "So do you want her back?"

"I've poured everything I had into that woman, and look where it has gotten me. How foolish was I not to believe her when she said that I would be the first person she would erase? At least I was going to kill her last!"

"You feel that she wronged you in the relationship?" If That's the case, why do you want to be with someone like that?"

"Why would I want her back!? What man wouldn't want endless sex with the tightest pussy in the universe! I mean nothing beats the way it feels when you stick it in and you feel her tight, warm embrace around every inch of your..."

Feeling uncomfortable at the way the conversation is going, Bulma promptly interrupts Cell's drawn out diatribe."Ok, ok! I get it!" She yells. "Something tells me this is about more than sex. I think you miss feeling loved by someone."In a fit of rage, Cell extends his hand out to her.

"What did you just say!?"

"What I'm saying, is that you love her!" Her words ricochet through his brain freezing him in place. "I'll make it easy for you. Just pretend that I'm Freeza, and tell me that you love me."

"But I don't love you, you're nothing compared to her!"

"Fine, I get it... If you can't say it to me, close your eyes and pretend that I'm her."

"Fine..." Cell grumbles to himself. Bulma leaps from the table and walks up to him, he glances at her before shutting his eyes. "Freeza, I-I-..."

"Come on! You can do it!" Bulma chants.

 "Lo...ve. I-I...love you!" He screams. When he opens his eyes he sees Bulma's cheery face staring back at him.

"You did it! See, I told you it wasn't so hard. Now I think it's time you told her that yourself."

"You really think she'll take me back?"

"As Long as you tell her how you truly feel. I got an idea. I'll get the guys together tomorrow to give you some dating advice, I'm sure they won't mind helping you out."

"Dating advice, from the likes of Goku? Oh, that should be entertaining."

"Alright, you better eat your food before it gets too cold, after that you're going to have to put your rowdy kids to bed."

Later that night after all the children are asleep, Cell and Bulma share a couch in the living room. The TV blares with noise as they sit quietly in the dark room only lit by the light emitting from the rectangular screen. Cell rests his head down on the blue-haired woman's lap, his eyes firmly pressed shut in a resting state. She looks down and strokes the crown of his head and smiles, their uncanny alone time is interrupted by the scruffy older gentleman in a dirty lab coat. He makes his way through the living space towards the kitchen only stopping when he gets a good look at the unlikely pair on the couch."Is that the bio-android?! What is it doing up here?!"

Bulma takes her index finger and puts it up to her mouth."Shhh...He's sleeping, It's been a long day for him."

"I see. It's strange seeing such a creature resting like that after what it did to our city all those years ago. By the way, where is that husband of yours? I was expecting him to be the one on your lap."

"Who knows... He and Goku sometimes train till 4 am in the morning. I don't even bother waiting up for him anymore."

"Ok, Bulma. I just know your proclivity towards strange alien and monster men. Just remember that you have a husband that loves you dearly."

Bulma blushes at her father's insinuations. "It's not like that, dad! I'm actually helping him get back together with Freeza. It's a long shot, but hopefully, he can convince her not to destroy Earth."

"Well then, let us hope your plan succeeds." Dr.Brief exchanges a smile with his daughter before walking into the kitchen.

When the next day arrives Bulma manages to gather a group of them together in the basement."Thanks for coming guys. So Cell wants to get back with Freeza, but he needs some advice."

Krillin scratches his head and laughs. "Wow, I never thought I'd be giving dating advice to a villain."

"Hmph, I don't need your pitiful advice, baldy, I'm just here for the entertainment." Cell scoffs.

Goku waves his hand up to get Cell's attention."Oh, I know! How bout getting a job? ChiChi loves it when I help her pick radishes. It ain't fun, but she seems to like it."

"I don't need a job, my ex is the God Of Destruction after all." Cell swiftly retorts.

"Goku has a point, women do like a guy with money, at least 18 does," Krillin replies

"What part of "My ex is the God Of Destruction" are you not getting?"

Vegeta crosses his arms and looks over to the green insect."How about you go there and blow him up? I'm sure he'd enjoy that."

Goku gives his short Saiyan friend a look of disapproval."Geta! That's disrespectful! Freeza is a woman! Trust me, I would know."

Vegeta grits his teeth, his face burns red while his partner's response burrows itself into his psyche."Are you kidding me right now! Freeza too!?"

Goku grabs hold of Vegeta's shoulder only to be rebuffed by the enraged Saiyan prince."Geta, please! I didn't mean it like that! Don't be mad!"

"I should have never trusted a no good, lying piece of..."

Bulma steps in to break up their squabbling."I don't know what you two are arguing about, but we really need to stay on topic." Suddenly the entire group's attention turns towards a figure that makes his way down the stairs to greet them. Cell looks at the man with shock and revulsion as he wanders into the scene.

Gohan carefully stares the android down before greeting the others."Sorry I'm late, Bulma. Class went on longer than expected."

"It's ok, I'm surprised you came along anyway. This is Cell we're talking about."She replies.

"Considering how dire the situation is, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones." Gohan steps directly in front of Cell holding a bouquet of flowers and a red heart-shaped box." Look... I know you don't like me, and to be honest, I'm not too fond of you either... But you hold the life of this planet in your hands, I can't let my feelings get in the way of my families safely." Gohan passes the roses and chocolates over to the intrigued insect. The android hesitates before grabbing the bouquet, he examines them for a bit before smacking the box of chocolates out of the bewildered half-Saiyan's hand.

"Freeza's race cannot ingest large quantities of theobromine, it is toxic to them!" He sneers.

Gohan steps back and smirks at his flustered arch-nemesis."Just give her those roses and tell her how much you miss her. Strange as it sounds, you definitely have some love in your heart."

Cell blushes from the embarrassment. His hand fight to aim at Gohan before he gives up and lets them rest at his side."I'm going to go now, it's getting too mushy in here for me." He places his two fingers against his forehead.

"Good luck!" Goku says as he waves Cell goodbye.

"I know you can do this! Go make me proud!" Bulma says while wiping away tears with her elbow. Cell instantly vanishes from the room. When it's clear that they're alone Bulma switches gears. "Now that he's gone, I want to get down to the important matter at hand. So, unfortunately, I found out that the Earth balls were already used up. It's safe to assume that Freeza used them to revive Cell, now I'm hearing she even erased the Namekian Dragon from existence."

"No way! I Can't believe he actually did that!" Krillin yells.

"But, the good news is that Jaco was able to get in touch with universe 6 Namekians. They said it's ok for us to use their Dragon balls to possibly revive Beerus, they've even begun collecting them as gratitude for us wishing back their universe."

"Ok, that's fine and dandy, but how do you plan to get them?" Vegeta ask.

"Good question, babe. I was able to slightly modify my old time machine schematic to allow it to traverse other universes as well."

"Wow! That's amazing, Bulma!" Goku says.

"Thanks, Goku...but we don't even know if the Dragon balls can bring back someone that has been erased, none the less someone from another universe. Given our limited options, It's worth a shot if things don't work out for Cell and Freeza."

"So, why didn't you bother saying all this when Cell was here?" Krillin ask.

"I have a sneaking suspicion that he had some involvement in Beerus's death. If I were to guess Freeza probably put him up to it. He still loves Freeza, so he's still going to cover for her no matter what we say."

"That's impossible! That roach maybe strong, but he's nowhere near matching the strength of Beerus!"

Goku twiddles his thumbs nervously before speaking up. "Hehe...I might have something to do with Beerus's death.."

Vegeta grabs hold of Goku's shirt and pulls him in close"What are you talking about, Kakarot?! Spill it out!"

"I may have told Freeza that killing the Supreme Kai is the only way to destroy a God Of Destruction. I was just letting him know, I didn't think he'd actually go kill Beerus" The entire room audibly gasp, prompting Vegeta to get even more forceful with Goku.

'What the hell is wrong with you?!" Vegeta takes a moment to cool down before a smirk erupts on his face."If that's the case, you locate his Kai and destroy him so that Freeza is permanently erased!"

"No...I can't do that. It's not the Supreme Kai's fault that he's attached to someone evil like Freeza. We'll just have to go with Bulma's plan."

Vegeta snarls at the taller Saiyan before letting go of his shirt collar. He walks towards the stairs and proceeds to verbally berate Goku yet again."You'd rather risk the lives of your family and your own Saiyan blood, to protect some Kai!? You're pathetic!" Vegeta stomps up the stairs slamming the basement door behind him.

Bulma walks up to her friend Goku and lays her hand on his shoulder. "It's ok, Goku. Thanks for letting us know ahead of time. It looks like we'll just have to wish both Beerus and the Supreme Kai back. Don't worry, we'll make it work, we always do after all."


	23. I Miss You

Cell reappears from his instant transmission technique. The stagnant air around his body clues him in on his positioning indoors. As he reevaluates his prime objective a shiver runs down his spine."Shit! She's in front of me!" The android thinks as he observes the lazy Hakaishin laying with his feet propped up on the bed just a few meters away from him. He lets out a sigh of relief when he notices that Freeza is preoccupied with a book. Cell stands perfectly still as not to cause alarm, each turning page making it more difficult for him to maintain his composure. He nervously fumbles with his tie for a few minutes, readjusting it repeatedly before making his slow, lumbering approach. Suddenly, he stops in his tracks at the familiar sound of his ex-lover's voice.

"Whis, is that you?" The Hakaishin mutters while slowly turning another page of his book. The android's sweat producing glands work overtime as the negative memories of their last interaction plays out in his head. The intense showdown finally reaches it's zenith when Freeza peaks his head over the book to see the big green insect in front of him."Oh dear, it seems our pest control issue has gotten worse." He promptly shuts his book and sits it down next to him on the bed, he then tries to lure Cell in with his index finger. Despite his steadfast attempt, the startled insect refuses to budge from his position near the door."Ohohoho... Don't be shy now, Bugboy. You only have yourself to blame."

Begrudgingly, Cell steps closer to the bed in an attempt to appease the judgmental God Of Destruction. "I-I missed you." Cell mutters under his breath. His low tone of voice prompts the agitated Hakaishin to yank him in by his tie. Cell gasp when he finds himself at eye level with the vengeful god.

"Speak up, I can't hear you, "Freeza commands. While holding onto the tie he toggles his fingertips around the velvety texture of the cloth."Why are you wearing this gaudy leash-like garment around your neck for? Do you want me to walk you around on a lead like a domesticated dog?"

"It's a necktie, Earthling males wear it for formal events and other inanities...By the way, the treating me like a dog thing sounds kinda hot, so I won't object to it."

Freeza lets go of the android's purple necktie and instead turns his focus to the bright red flowers cupped within his hands."Hmm...What are those red things that you're holding? Are they some kind of exotic Earth foliage?"

"From what I can gather from my data, human males give them to human females in exchange for sex. Here, they're for you."Cell reaches out his hand to pass the brightly colored posies to the curious Icejin.

"What a filthy mating ritual! Earthlings disgust me!" They continue to stare at each other awkwardly until Freeza moves in. He brings his nose up to the bouquet of Rose's and takes a whiff. "I must say, they have a rather, heavenly aroma to them. By any chance are they edible?"

Cell shrugs his shoulders, "Sure, I don't see why not."

Freeza sniffs around some more before chewing on a tiny petal, as he eats his face instantly perks up from the intense pollen flavor hitting his taste buds. "Astounding! Why didn't those Earthlings serve this at their accursed dinner party? It's far better than that putrid gruel they served us before." Freeza snatches the bouquet from Cell's hand and continues to wiggle his nose in it.

"I don't know, I've always assumed they were used as a sensory aphrodisiac. Are you feeling any hornier right now?"

"Oh? So are you telling me that you only came here to fornicate with me?"

"No, that's not it at all."

In anger, Freeza chucks the roses at Cell causing the pedals to rain down on his face."Are you saying that I'm not good enough for you to have sex with? Are you cavorting with someone else now!?"

"I came here because I l-lo..." Cell clears his throat, he looks down towards his feet while he thinks through his next move."I-I've longed for your touch, "Cell says followed by a long trailing sigh.

"Is that so?" Freeza stands up on the bed, he reaches out and lays his hand on the android's cheek. He runs his finger down the side of his face, catching small beads of sweat as they accumulate on the surface of the nervous insect's skin." Where did all that confidence go? Did you foolishly think I'd welcome you back with open arms after what you did to me!?" Freeza squeezes harder on his cheek causing Cell's pale skin to bruise under the pressure. The android's worry quickly switches to anger and he bares his teeth at the threatening God Of Destruction. To Freeza's dismay Cell rips his hand away from his face. He clutches onto the Hakaishin's narrow wrist and begins to tighten his grip." How dare you lay your filthy hands on a god?! Let go of me this instant!" In response, Cell crushes his wrist even harder, collapsing Freeza onto his knees writhing in agony.

Cell chuckles at the excruciating expression of pain on Freeza's face." When that left eye of yours shuts, I know you're really feeling it."

"Shut up and let me go, or I'll permanently expunge you from existence!"Freeza growls.

"Hmph, It looks like Whis has done a poor job of keeping you under control while I was away."

"What did you just say to me, you!.." abruptly, Cell takes a seat on the side of the bed, and Freeza finds himself being pulled down onto his lap. He lays across the android's lap while still fruitlessly fighting to regain control over his captured hand. While the Hakaishin is preoccupied, Cell wrangles the heavy tail from Freeza's pants and pulls them down slightly below his hips. Cell finally relinquishes his grip on his wrist only to then grab Freeza's robust tail and push it aside so that his bare bottom is fully exposed."I swear to God, I'm going to!..." A loud smack reverberates throughout the large chamber, Freeza's eyes instantly widen from the heavy impact of Cell's hand rippling through his rear end. Yet again he is caught off guard by another heavy-handed slap on his now bruised behind. His back arches as his body rocks forward from each visceral blow of the surprise spanking.

"Learn to behave yourself and maybe I won't have to do this!" Cell yells.

The Icejin still has a look of utter shock plastered on his face from the first blow. His mind races to think up a response to the humiliating punishment he finds himself being subjected to. "B-but... I'm a god... How dare you!" Cell takes his hand and slaps Freeza's ass again, at this point, it becomes obvious to the insect that the Hakaishin is receiving some enjoyment out of his punishment. He keenly listens in to the Icejin's pathetic, whimpering moans as he squeezes his ass tighter. His sharp, black fingernails pressing in so hard it breaks Freeza's sensitive porcelain skin. The Icejin winces at the conflicting struggle he is having within himself at gauging pain vs pleasure.

"You seem to have forgotten who your daddy is, "Cell playfully mocks. Freeza beats down on Cell's lap in a fit of rage.

"You're not my daddy, you vile cockroach!"

Cell raises his hand up in preparation, "Oh, really now? From your response, I'd beg to differ. "He slams his hand hard against the Icejin's backside evoking profuse moans of pleasure to escape his mouth. Following a few more forceful spanks, Freeza's temperamental mood slowly mellows out. The attentive android straightens up Freeza's godly attire and sits him onto his lap. Freeza curls up between his lover's muscular arms and his sheltering chest. "Hmph, who's your daddy now?"

"Don't push it." Freeza snarkily replies." The small Icejin lays his head back against Cell's pillowy soft chest, his usual racing thoughts replaced with complacent serenity. "How have you been doing these last few days? Weeks? Months? I'm sorry, I've seemed to have lost track of the time."

"It's been about a month since we broke up. For the time being, I've been on Earth living an ordinary human male life. I've even started a family of my own."

"Oh? So you are seeing someone currently? That explains that absurd looking garment and the false pheromones you've slathered onto your skin."

"You've got it all wrong, babe. I did all of this because I want you back. None of those Earth females hold a candle to your beauty."

Freeza blushes at the compliment, "That's so sweet of you. Extrapolate further upon why I am superior to the Earth female."

"Hmph... Well, they're weaklings, they're not as tight as you are, they somehow nag even more then you do..."

Freeza tilts his body to point his finger at the startled insect." So you admit that you've been galavanting about with some Earth hussy?!"

"It was just an astute observation, no need to rake me over the coals for something I didn't do... and besides, we weren't together at the time, so..."

"Yeah, well...We are now! So I don't want to see you with any Earth females. Got that?!"

"Hmm, how about males?" Cell jeers.

"No!"

Cell chuckles at his lover before placing his hand underneath the Icejin's chin and bringing him in for a passionate kiss. At that moment their fears and apprehension fade for a split seconds before they break from their romantic embrace."When are you planning to come back to Earth?"

"In about 2 months time, why do you ask?"

"Well, Goku in his little buddies were trying to get me to convince you to call it off. Now that we're back together again, I don't care anymore."

"Return back to them, I'm sure they're expecting a status report from you. I know that they're devising some scheme to thwart my complete eradication of Earth, so I figure we'll shake things up a bit and give them a false sense of security. When you go back tonight inform them that we kissed and made up, and when they're off guard, we'll strike!" Cell shakes his head in agreement, he then grabs Freeza's delicate hand and kisses it. After their parting embrace, he gets up from the bed only to have his hand pulled in the other direction.Freeza looks up into his lover's eyes longingly, "Won't you stay a little while longer?" Cell turns his attention back to the uncharacteristically timid Icejin and smiles.

"Anything for my little princess." The two villains catch up with each other for hours until sunset. Cell strokes Freeza's back while the golden radiance of the setting sun radiates over their body from the skylight above. He takes the Icejin's small hand within his own, massaging between the soft webbing of his fingers. He stares blankly at the dainty white palms, the same ones that nearly erased him a month prior. The android grasps the hand gently before letting it rest back on the bed. He scoots over to the side of the bed and lightly pets the napping Hakaishin on the back. Feeling reassured by the time they spent together he proceeds to focus all his energy on teleporting back to Earth. He places his two fingers in the center of his head, not before glancing over at his sleeping partner one last time. "They'll never know what hit them, I'll make sure of it."

Cell recenters himself after teleporting back to Earth. Once there he searches around for the man whose Ki signature he used to navigate his way back to the small blue planet. The insect carefully examines his environment and finds that he is in front of the Capsule Corp building. Suddenly, he feels the sensation of something grazing his wing causing him to jump from the surprise touch. He looks back to see the cheerful low-class Saiyan staring back at him with his usual goofy grin.

"Hey Cell, how did it go?!"

"Don't sneak up on me like that!"Cell snaps.

"Sorry, you were gone for so long, I didn't expect you to come back today. Did it go well!? Is Freeza still gonna erase Earth?"

"Nope! Luckily, I was able to convince her to spare this pathetic planet. So go off and tell all your little friends that the crisis has been averted thanks to yours truly.

"That's great news! And I'm glad Freeza didn't try to erase you again. I couldn't imagine having a wife that could erase me. At worst Chichi hits me with a frying pan, but she still gives me a comfy place to stay and good cooking."

"Oh, you poor thing"

Goku scratches his head in confusion, "Poor? But we make a pretty decent living."

Cell smacks his head at Goku's simple-mindedness, "Never mind! Where is that Bulma woman off to?"

"You just missed her, she went out searching for the Dragonb..." Goku nervously clutches at his mouth to prevent the rest of his statement from slipping out. "Sorry, she told me to keep it a secret from you. Guess the cats out of the bag, huh?"

"Dragonballs!? Are they attempting to bring back Beerus!? If they do then the jig is up!" Think, think... I have to remember the rules for the Earth balls. Was it one year or one month !? Dammit it, why can't I remember?!" He calmly exits his thoughts to address Goku."So I'm assuming she's collecting she Earth balls?"

"Nuh uh, they were used up to wish you back. Bulma is gettin em from universe 6's Namekians."

"Why would she keep this a secret from me? Wasn't the whole point of me making up with Freeza to prevent the Earth from being erased?"

"I think it has something to do with you being a bad guy, "Goku says. The front door of Capsule Corp opens and the two men's attention turns to the arrogant Saiyan Prince who quickly turns his nose up at them."Vegeta and I are going out to do some late night training. Wanna come with?"

"No thanks Goku, threesomes aren't really my thing anymore. I'm going steady nowadays."

"That's not exactly what I meant by training... but suit yourself!" Goku waves his goodbyes and the two Saiyan warriors fly off to their usual training grounds.

"I'm going to have to report back to Freeza as soon as possible. It looks like we're going to have to go through with our plans a lot sooner than expected."


	24. Be Prepared

Cell takes a breather before walking into the Capsule Corp building. He makes his way to the entertainment area where he finds his 12 rambunctious kids crowding around the blaring TV screen while Trunks plays his video games.

"Time for bed, you scoundrels," Cell says to his disappointed children.

"B-But we didn't beat the final boss yet!" Trunks replies.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'll be the final boss if they don't take their butts to bed, now!"

Trunks hunches his shoulders in defeat," Fine..." He looks over towards the little beady-eyed bugs sitting around him."Sorry, your dad's being totally lame right now. Don't worry, we'll defeat the final boss tomorrow." Trunks turns the game system off before shuffling out the room. The 12 tiny bugs get up from their seated position on the floor and march over to meet their father at the door. They make a perfect single file line and follow him back down to the basement floor of the building. Once they reach the basement Cell points over to the futon in the far right corner of the room. The Cell jr's groan as they glide their way over to their usual resting spot for the night. Each tiny blue bug takes its spot on the futon, burrowing their way into the covers to get comfortable. Cell slowly steps over and watches while his children struggle to fall asleep, kicking and fighting each other for the best sleeping position.

"Why am I bothering to put these brats to bed anyway? The Earth's demise is nearly upon us. Soon there will be no more beds, no more schools, no more boring Earthling parenting." He looks at the neatly occupied futon and grins sadistically."I suppose the most economical choice would be to reabsorb them all back into my body. Hell, I'd be doing the little guys a favor." He thinks as he observes the rowdy mob start to finally settle down. He kneels down next to them as they lay on the futon, their eyes all shut making it difficult for him to ascertain if they're awake or not. When the coast is clear, Cell reaches down to grab one only to have a piece of paper blind his view.

The small insect waves the white paper in his startled dads face, "Daddy! Daddy! Look, daddy!"

The android tilts his head in confusion before snatching the paper out of his child's hand. He stares at it carefully while the others wait on with bated breath. Cell closely examines the poorly drawn scribbling. He hides his expression of sheer disgust while gazing on the malformed visage of himself etched in green crayon. "Did you draw this number 37?" The Cell Jr nervously shakes his head in response. "What was that fool of a teacher thinking? Only an A+? Why I think this deserves an A+++! There's more where that came from, but there wouldn't be enough room on the paper."

Large smiles erupt on the excited children's faces and they all start to pass their own papers to Cell. He starts to quickly skim through the growing stack accumulating in his hands."A parent-teacher conference next Thursday at 7 pm? Field trip forms? Paperwork in regards to your child's inoculation status?" He softens his irritated face for a moment. "I'll read through all of this tomorrow, now get some shuteye."Just as he's talking he feels a hard object repeatedly strike against his exposed abdomen causing him to snatch it away out of rage. "What is it?!"Cell screams loudly. His eyes shift down and he discovers that it's a blue book with a yellow dog on it."Where's, Spot? You want me to read this garbage to you?"

In response, they all shake their heads in unison, "Please, daddy?"

Cell huffs before finally relenting to their pleading."Fine... but I'm still disappointed in your poor taste in literature." He turns to the first page and starts to read."That Spot. He hasn't eaten his supper. Where can he be?... Do you really enjoy this shlock? Only a brain-dead guppy would find this entertaining." The children collectively nod their heads in agreement causing Cell to let out a sigh."I stand corrected." After finishing up with the story his children fall fast asleep leaving the Android time to think over his next course of action. "Look at them, not a care in the world. Their simple minds satiated by the most puerile of activities." Cell catches his mouth forming a slight smile as he watches over his resting children "Is this how it feels to have empathy for one's offspring? This is just illogical to the point of irritation! At least with Freeza, I get sex along with the headaches, these little bastards provide nothing of value to me."

Once again he lets out a labored sigh of defeat, "I have a choice, either I accept my emotions or override them entirely... but I'm starting to think that something deep within me wants to see these children survive. Some pathetic semblance of hope that after all is said and done, Freeza, the children, and I can live as one big happy family..." Cell retches as the suggestion start to marinate on his mind." Ugh...I think I'm going to vomit" He gets up from the floor next to the futon and crosses his arms while still carefully eying his progeny. "Hmph, I'll spare you this time around, just don't get mad at me when you don't make it off this planet alive." The android places his fingers onto his forehead and vanishes into thin air.

Meanwhile, The God Of Destruction is preparing himself for bed when he's interrupted once more by his intrusive lover." Cell, what are you doing here!? I'm not giving it up to you tonight if that's what you're thinking!"

"I'm afraid we have a much more serious issue at hand. I was just informed by Goku that Vegeta's human wife is seeking the Dragon Balls to revive Beerus."

"Are you serious with me right now? The Earthling maggots are trying to revive Lord Beerus with the Dragon Balls? But the time limit on the Earth Balls haven't elapsed yet, and I erased the Namekian dragon. What other Dragon Balls could they possibly be after?"

"I suppose that is where their newfound knowledge of the multiverse comes in handy. It turns out they're seeking the Dragon Balls from another universe that just so happens to have their own race of little green men willing to help them with their wish."

Freeza starts frantically pacing the room, his mind racing as he thinks up a solution to their present conundrum. "Why didn't you go after them, you imbecile!?" He screams.

"She left before I got there. It would be one thing if she was still in our universe, but I'm not sure if my abilities can even traverse other universes."

Freeza halts his pacing and turns his glare to Cell, "Was it just the blue-haired Earthling female that left? What are the two Saiyan monkeys up to?"

"Training like Saiyans always do," Cell sneers.

"All of this meddling is putting a wrench in my original plan. Unfortunately, the Hakai drains my energy after each use, so I was counting on having more time to replenish it."

"S-so you did it? You succeeded at creating a Hakai Ball the size of the Earth's core?"

"Affirmative! I tried it out a few days ago, but as I've stated, I need time before I can recreate a ball of Hakai energy that massive in scale."

"So what's the plan? If they somehow manage to wish back Beerus we're both goners."

"Don't you mean that you're a goner? I have the power to erase a God, I'm more than capable of taking him on now...As for my plan, we haven't really a choice, I must enact my vengeance on the Earth tomorrow. Erasing half the planet will have to do for the time being."

"I thought you'd say something like that, can't say I disagree. Action needs to be taken immediately." Cell walks up to Freeza and grabs his hand. "Time to do away with the past. This is the beginning of the rest of our lives."

The Hakaishin blushes before snatching his hand away and shooing the android away. "Hurry yourself back to Earth, we wouldn't want to rouse anymore suspicion then we already have."

"Around what time should I expect for you to grace our presence?"

"Around noontime tomorrow. Be prepared. I'd suggest brushing up your poor acting skills."Cell chuckles and leans in to gently kiss his lover on the lips.

"I'll be waiting. You better not stand me up."Cell says with a cocky smirk.

"Just get going, you ingrate!"Freeza says with anger. Cell laughs, he then disappears back to Earth giving Freeza time to plan out the next day. "WHIS!" Freeza yells as he summons his angelic guardian. Whis flys down the hallway, he glides over to Freeza's door and gives it a light knock. "You may enter, Whis."

Whis cautiously steps inside the large chamber door to greet Freeza, "What is it, my Lord?"

"I plan on destroying my first planet as God Of Destruction tomorrow."

"Fantastic! Which planet have you decided to destroy?

"The Earth," Freeza calmly replies.

"Aww, but the Earth has the most delicious cuisine in the universe. Please tell me you at least have a good reason for destroying it?"

Freeza turns his back to the Angel as he makes his way over to his bed at the center of the room." Simply because they impede on my ability to do my job properly. I can't allow myself to put up with that nuisance of a planet any longer."

Surprisingly, Whis shakes his head in agreement. "I wish I could convince you otherwise, but I see your point, Freeza-Sama. At least give me time to pick up some takeout while we're there?"

"Do as you wish. I don't plan on destroying it without a fight, so it should be of no rush for you."

Whis lets out a sigh, "I feel a smidgen of sadness for Goku and his friends on Earth. Beyond the delicious food, they made our visits to Earth quite pleasant." Whis turns around and starts to make his way out of the chamber but is quickly stopped by The God Of Destruction.

"One more thing...After I destroy the Earth, I'm going to need you to assist me in collecting all the super Dragon Balls."

"My Lord, I don't..." Whis turns around, his gaze meets Freeza's eerily innocent eyes. He quickly re-accesses his tone of voice," Let's just wait until after tomorrow before we start thinking about super Dragon Balls. Here's hoping it goes off without a hitch." Whis says with a wink.


	25. Better Late Than Never

When the next morning arrives Cell goes through with his normal everyday routine of taking his 12 kids to the bus stop, waving them off as it pulls off. Happily, the cheerful children wave back at him, his smile not wavering until there is a clear distance between them. A serious demeanor takes hold and he quickly flies back to Capsule Corp. When he gets there he remains perfectly posted on the balcony of the large dome-like structure, patiently awaiting the noon arrival of his vengeful lover. "Very soon this pathetic world will be no more! Can't say I'll miss it." Cell looks at the environment around him fondly, his eyes wandering far above the city line towards the forest canopy in the far distant." It's a shame really...Such a beautiful planet to house such vile inhabitants." The android starts to impatiently tap his foot as the shadows start to expand beneath his feet." Foolish of me not to expect a woman to be late, but thankfully her tartiness still gives time for the Saiyans to join in on the festivities. It shouldn't be too long before they're here." A few minutes later Goku and Vegeta land right behind Cell as he stares off at the blue horizon. "Speak of the devil, I've been waiting for you slowpokes to join me."

Goku lowers his hands to his knees and pants heavily to catch his labored breath."Sorry, Cell. Training between me and Geta can get pretty intense at times. You really shoulda joined us today."

"Oh, I'm sure the hate sex between you two are ones for the ages, but unlike you Goku, I have commitments to uphold."

"Hmph, no one cares if you and your boyfriend kissed and made up. Now that I know that the planet is safe, I'm itching to kill you off right now!" Vegeta snaps.

"Ha! Just you wait," Cell scoffs.

Goku quickly steps in to reestablish the peace amongst the group. "Geta... Cell... Be nice."

"What I want to know is why this oversized cockroach called us over here? It better be important."

"Is it so wrong to want to spend some quality time with my two best buddies in the whole wide world? We've been through so much these past few weeks you and I, the least you can do is spare a moment." Cell says. Vegeta grabs a nearby chair and sits down, his arms crossed with a grumpy scowl on his face.

"Aww, Geta he just wanted to spend some time with us."

"I'm sure you've spent enough time with him for the both of us, Kakarot."Vegeta quips.

"Geta... I thought we already..." Goku's words are cut off and he instead turns his attention to a large beam of colorful light whizz down from the sky."Whis!?"

"Yes, they're finally here! Now I can finally drop this annoying goody two-shoes act." To Cell and others surprise, the beam of light instead passes over them towards the city, out of curiosity the three fly over to investigate the disturbance.

The light speed streak of energy touches down in an area heavy in foot traffic, causing nearby pedestrians to scatter upon its impact in the street. The evil emperor steps out from the swirls of dust accumulating from their impact and grins widely at the cowering citizens."Now, Earthling's, you shall face wrath the likes of which you've never seen before! It's almost a shame that no one here will survive to tell the tale of my onslaught on this pitiful speck of space dust!" The group of Earthlings looks on at Freeza puzzled before deciding to resume their normal activities. The Hakaishin seethes with rage while he witnesses them nonchalantly pass him by, complete ignoring his threats of violence. " You fools! I'm going to turn this planet into an asteroid field and you want to dilly dally around with the few precious moments of life you have left!?" Freeza flares up his Ki into an immense supernova of energy breaking windows and sending hapless passerby's flying in the opposite direction. When his golden form finally emerges he watches as the disheveled Earthlings cry out in terror amongst the piles of debris. "Ohohoho! You haven't witnessed true tyranny yet!"Just as Freeza points at the crowd of scared people Whis crosses his staff over the Hakaishin's itchy trigger finger.

"Let's not make a scene, my Lord." Whis calmly interjects.

Freeza's eyes twitches and the throbbing veins on his forehead pulsates in anger."Why not?! He exclaims through his grinding teeth.

"Well, it's quite simple. We came here to destroy the planet not terrorize its inhabitants, although if you want to pick a fight with someone your own size, I won't stop you." Freeza puts his hand down and crosses his arms angrily. "Now be good while I'm away, I have a few special orders to pick up. If you will excuse me." Whis takes his leave, jaunting down the sidewalk as if nothing had happened.

"That arrogant fool! Thinking he can treat me, The great Lord Freeza, like a child! One day I will rule beyond that of a God Of Destruction, no one will ever dare oppose my will!" Freeza mutters to himself as the terrified crowd disbands around him."I know that Cell and his monkey playmates had to have sensed my arrival, it's only a matter of time." The Hakaishin looks towards the sky and sees three streaks of light descend rapidly in his vicinity, they land around him before moving in closer, intentionally flanking him on all sides.

"Freeza!? What are you doing here? I Thought you went back on your plan." Goku gives Cell a look of concern."Cell, what's going on? I thought you said that Freeza wasn't going to erase the Earth anymore?

The Saiyan prince scoffs at the cornered Hakaishin, "Hmph, you've got some nerve showing your face around here, Freeza. I'll be sure to make it your last visit."

"Ohohoho! That's the plan. Thank you for making my little excursion more convenient for me. Just for that, I'll make your deaths quick and painless."

"Hey, Freeza!" Goku yells.

Freeza snarls at Goku," What is it, monkey boy!?"

"We're not going to fight you unless you leave the city. I won't allow you to take any more innocent lives. Not on my watch!"

"Your pathetic attempt at persuasion is actually making me want to stay a little while longer." Freeza points his finger towards a schoolhouse at his far left, prompting the android to enter panic mood.

"Dammit! She's aiming in the direction of my children's school. Why should I care? There just a bunch of little brats I could easily replace them, and besides, they're hardy enough to make it out alive...right?" He thinks as he watches the Ki blast rapidly grow in size. The demented Hakaishin lets the blast go, but before either Saiyan could step in Cell leaps out in front of the blast smacking it away with his hand. He catches his breath as the seared skin on his hand starts to regenerate.

"Ohohohoh! Volunteering to be my first victim, Bugboy? I'm more than happy to oblige." Freeza fires rounds of finger beams at Cell, he swiftly dodges taking for the sky as his aggressor follows suit.

"Looks like I was able to successfully lure him away from the city. Not that I care about the twerps, but to keep up my heroic act." Cell thinks while carefully scanning for a suitable combat area. When he finds a spot he descends down to a isolated field.

Freeza lands right across from him and smirks."Quite the show you put on back there, protecting those puny Earthlings and all.Now then, let us see how long you can keep up this little charade of yours." Not long after arriving to their destination, the two Saiyan warriors land beside Cell, taking on their battle stances.

"Great job, Cell! Now that Freeza is away from the city, I'm ready to fight!"

"I don't care where he is, either way, he's going die, even if I have to take the entire town down with him."

"Really, Geta? Well, it's a good thing Cell lead us here, huh?"

Cell shakes his head in dismay at the display of overconfidence by his teammates."I don't think this is the time to be acting so self-assured, fellas. We are dealing with a God Of Destruction after all." While the trio is distracted with their banter, Freeza takes dead aim at Cell.

Vegeta rolls his eyes."Oh, please! His energy is no stronger than the last time he brought his sorry tail to Earth." Just then Goku catches glimpse of the sneaky ki blast speeding at Cell.

"Cell, move out of the way!" Goku screams. Vegeta and Goku look at each other puzzled when it narrowly missed its intended target. A sly smirk grazes the android's face, he then fires a quick Ki blast of his own at Vegeta sending him careening into a large rocky outcrop.

Cell chuckles while the Saiyan prince struggles to his feet. "Opsy...looks like my hand slipped." He laughs again while gliding over to stand by the Hakaishin's side.

Goku stares back at Cell, his large brown eyes full of betrayal and confusion. "No way! You're working with Freeza, aren't you!?"

"What did you expect, you idiot? Of course, he is! You were a fool to ever trust him!" Vegeta leers at Cell, with a deep-set frown on his face."You're going to pay for that!"

"I'm surprised you managed as long as you did, Bugboy. Now then, let's have our fun before I erase the planet."

"Now you're talking!" Cell grabs Freeza into his arms attempting to go in for a kiss only to be rebuffed by the embarrassed Hakaishin.

The perturbed Icejin pushes back against his partner's chest causing him to loosen his hold."Don't kiss me in front of them!"

"Cmon, why not give them a show before they perish?" Freeza looks away from Cell, a purple hue staining his pale cheeks. "Oh, I get it now. We'll wait to do it over their dead bodies. Even hotter!"Cell purrs.

"I never insinuated that, you disgusting invertebrate!"

Vegeta's brow twitches in anger. "I will not sit back and let you spew your vile garbage!" Vegeta and Goku exchange quick glances at each other. "Kakarot, you take Cell. I'll take Freeza!"

"Right!" The two Saiyan warriors fly full force into battle. The two villains take on defensive stances, giving each other the A-ok before lunging forward towards their opponents.

Meanwhile, Bulma and Jaco finally arrive at Universe 6's version of Namek. It is a sparsely populated planet with very few adult Namekians. Most are just small adolescents and newborns trying to build off the legacy of their predecessors before them. Bulma steps off the ship to greet the two adults Namekians who are standing in front of a large house swarmed by children.

"Sorry if I'm a bit late, I'm just now getting used to traversing other universes. My name is Bulma by the way, it's a pleasure to finally meet you."

The stocky Namekian bows to his guest."My name is Pirina and that over there is Saonel. The pleasure is all ours."

"We're currently in the process of rebuilding our population. You see, as a result of the Tournament of power our entire race had to fuse together to compete. Lucky for us, the spirit of the elders still exist within these children." Saonel cradles a young infant in his arms causing Bulma to swoon from the cuteness of the little sleeping Namekian." Without them, these Dragon Balls wouldn't exist." He steps aside revealing the 7 large beachball sized amber orbs laying in the grass behind him.

"Wow, I'm sorry to hear that... B-But Thank you so much for gathering them all for us. There must be something I can do to repay you? You know..I'm really good with kids, I wouldn't mind helping you look after them once in a while."

"It's fine, it's payment enough that your universe chooses to spare our own." Saonel smiles as he watches Bulma and Jaco nervously approach the large collection of Dragon Balls, narrowly avoiding being knocked over by screaming children running by.

Bulma bends down to examine them up close."They're a bit larger than our Nameks Balls are. Now I'm curious how big your version of Porunga is?"

"Porunga? Our dragon is named Reunaga The King Of Serpents. It is said that the Dragon's of all realms have familial ties, so it's entirely possible that he knew of Purungo's existence. Since Dragons aren't universally bound, it might be possible to revive your friends." Pirina explains.

"There's only one way to find out!" Jaco hilariously declares, pointing up at the seafoam sky to the befuddlement of the others. After the initial shock of Jaco's ridiculous pose wears off, the group have a good laugh and begin to attempt to summon the dragon.


	26. Trust

The combatants clash in a fury of intense punches and kicks as the searing heat of the day wears on. Freeza launches a kick at the Saiyan prince, Vegeta skillfully dodges, he then leaps up and smashes Freeza over the head sending him spiraling back down to the ground below. "You've got your work cut out for you if a mortal like me can knock you out in my base form." Vegeta gloats. The prince grits his teeth when he looks down and sees golden Freeza standing up unphased by his attack.

"Ohohoho! You've seemed to have mistaken this rather serious bout for a childish game of Whac-A-Mole... But what would I expect from an uncouth apeman that lacks the proper coordination to engage with his opponent."Vegeta scowls at the cocky Hakaishin before speeding back down towards earth to clash with Freeza yet again. Up in the sky Cell and Goku duke it out for supremacy in the air.

"Cell, you don't have to do this. You have family and friends on Earth. Don't sacrifice it all for nothing!" Goku says to Cell in the midst of dodging his incoming attacks.

"You have it all wrong, Goku. I don't love you, Freeza, or anyone! I love myself, and I, Perfect Cell, yearns to fight alongside Freeza for eternity. That is simply what I want! At the end of the day, I strive for battle, not peace, you should know those feelings all too well, my Saiyan compatriot."Enraged by Cell's callous response, Goku lands a clean blow to his abdomen making the insect recoil from the swift blow."You're going to regret that, you Saiyan bastard!" The android yells out with palpable venom in his voice. Just before Goku can put up his defense, Cell backhands him into a dense patch of forest, instantly flattening parts of the lush terrain.

"Kakarot!" Vegeta screams, extending his hand out to his fallen comrade who is too far away to receive his calls of concern.

"Your fight is with me!" Freeza screams. The Hakaishin starts to unload a flurry of rapid finger blast at Vegeta, who uses aerial evasive maneuvers to avoid them. One of Freeza's sporadic shots penetrates his sturdy Saiyan armor narrowly missing his chest. The wounded prince collapse to the ground clutching his shoulder only to find his entire body eclipsed in shadow. He screams in agony, his twisted arm is pinned down underneath the foot of the massive bio-android."Ohohoho! Looks like we've got a live one, my dear."

"Hmm, not for long," Cell says with a smirk as he applies more pressure to the Saiyan's mangled limb. Freeza points his death beam dead center at Vegeta's head as he and Cell continue to jeer at their prone victim. Suddenly, their collective attention is diverted to a large blue beam of energy erupting from the forest sending birds flying out from the treetops. "Oh, how precious is that, he turned blue again."

"Looks to me like a fool who doesn't know when to give up," Freeza scoffs. The Hakaishin glance back down at Vegeta, what he sees causes his eyes to enlarge twice their size. The Saiyan prince's hair flickers blue as large plumes of blinding God ki surrounds his body."I should have guessed you would pull a stunt like this, Vegeta. Monkey see monkey do, after all."

Cell confidently steps ahead of Freeza, place his hand back to prevent the Hakaishin from getting closer."You may want to step back," Cell says while he watches Vegeta's strong aura continue to swell up uncontrollably. Freeza makes a quick escape into the air to avoid the powerful blast of energy below. The android starts to charge up his own energy. The two auras clash until the Insect's more potent Ki wins out. Vegeta flies back barely managing to land on his wobbly feet. He stares back in amazement at Cell's ascended platinum form. His slack-jawed look is replaced with a frightened jump when he feels a warm hand rest itself onto his shoulder.

"You had me worried back there, "Goku says.

Vegeta angrily smacks Goku's hand off his shoulder as he lifts himself to his feet. "Just don't get in my way!" Vegeta snaps.

"Come on, Geta! We have to work together if we hope to defeat her!" Freeza's raucous laughter suddenly becomes a morose scowl as the last word of Goku's sentence seeps into his brain. Cell rushes up to meet his partner who is still laser-focused on Goku's face.

"What did you just call me?!" Freeza yells to the bewildered Saiyan warrior. His request for answers is met with only a simple head scratch." You called me, her! Do I look like a female to you?! Do you see any hatchlings clutching my bosom stone or an egg nestled beneath my swollen posterior?! Well, do you?!" Goku looks away nervously while Vegeta fights hard to contain his laughter.

"I've been meaning to tell you, Ms. Freeza... that's a nice outfit you got on. Did you leave your sundress at home today?" Vegeta gloats.

Goku jabs his cocky partner in his side."Vegeta, stop teasing her!"

Freeza shifts his eyes over to Cell, pointing his finger squarely at him."You told my two biggest enemies my most guarded secret?! I thought I could trust you...I thought that you loved me!"

Cell takes a step back, his eyes visibly widening along with the two Saiyans."LOVE!!!?" The three men yell in unison. In response Freeza nervously catches his mouth, a slight blush staining his gold cheeks, after the embarrassment wears off his expression reverts to rage. The Hakaishin lifts his hand into the air and a large purple orb surrounded by swirling black electricity begins to form. Cell panics and flies in the opposite direction.

"That's is it! I will not waste my time any longer! I'm going to erase you all! Now perish along with this planet..." Freeza's statement is cut off by a sharp pain in his stomach, so much so that the Hakai orb starts to shrink back into nothingness. His face starts to contort from the excruciating discomfort radiating from his belly. His pupils dilate and his lips quiver while the other three warriors watch on curiously.

Goku tilts his head with a dumbfounded look plastered on his face."Why is Freeza makin that face? She looks like she has to go potty really bad!"

"It's Probably her period, that would explain her cantankerous attitude." Vegeta shifts his focus back to Freeza who is still squirming in pain above them. "Aw, what's the matter, Freeza? Having stomach cramps now are we?"

"No! It can't be... it's too soon!" Cell says to himself.

Once the pain becomes too unbearable for Freeza to manage, he lowers himself to the ground and closes his eyes shut while balling his fist tightly. Immediately, his spasms calm and his eyes open wide as he feels a large, rounded object attempt to escape his cloacal cavity. He bites down on his lip while using the vestiges of the muscle control he has to expel the mysterious object from his body. The Hakaishin finds instant relief as whatever was trapped inside him rolls out from under the tail hole in his pants onto the ground.

"I thought she had to go, but I aint smell anything," Goku says while sniffing at the air.

"Even better, It's an egg!" Vegeta says with a demented grin. Freeza nervous shuffles backward trying to hide the basketball-sized egg away from his enemies as they slowly close in on him from every angle.

Back on Universe 6's Namek, The dragon Reunaga is summoned, his large imposing figure encompassing all beneath his massive frame."WHY HAVE YOU SUMMONED ME!? WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DESIRE?!"

Bulma steps up to Saonel," Please, we need you to bring back Beerus and the Supreme Kai of universe 7." The Namekian translates the message and they all wait on bated breath for a reply from the towering King Of Serpents.

"NORMALLY SUCH A WISH WOULD BE BEYOND MY CAPABILITIES CONSIDERING I AM LIMITED TO THIS REALM, BUT... THE SUPREME KAI AND GOD OF DESTRUCTION ARE BEINGS WITHOUT UNIVERSAL LIMITATIONS, THUS YOUR WISH IS VALID."

"Really?! So you can bring them both back despite being erased?" The tall Namekian swiftly relays her message to the eternal dragon.

"YES, AS LONG AS THAT BEING WAS NOT ERASED BY A GOD."

Bulma sighs,"I guess we're out of luck with bringing back Porunga then. The purple Dragons yellow eyes glow brightly as they 1 by 1 wish for universe 7's pantheon to be restored. First a small form made of golden light appears in front of them, as it dissipates it reveals the Supreme Kai laying in the position he died in. Shin shakes his head and looks up at the curious Namekian children crowding around him.

"Where am I?!" He jumps up like a frightened cat when he catches a glimpse of the taller adult Namekian's green skin."Cell!?"

"Did he just say, Cell?" Bulma thinks to herself when she sees Shin's unusual erratic behavior.

"It's ok, Mr. Supreme Kai. We just got done wishing you back," Jaco informs.

"Wished me back? So he really did kill me back there... Oh my God! Where is Beerus?!" The Kai looks to the corner of his eye and witnesses another glowing silhouette take form next to him. The emerging figure is laid out on it's back with its hand reaching out for something. When the light starts to scatter the group avert their eyes from the second-hand embarrassment of what appears before them. Shin chuckles while shielding himself from the cat man's naked body. "Welcome back, Beerus. You might want to cover yourself."

The newly resurrected Hakaishin looks down before quickly using his hands to cover his shame. "Where am I and where are my clothes?! You have a lot of explaining to do! Whis! Whis!"

"Whis isn't here... I don't know how to tell you this but...someone had us erased."

"What!? Come to think of it, the last thing I remember was staring into Whis eyes, but quite frankly it all felt like a hazy dream. So, any idea of who the bastard that erased was?"

"Yes... but I don't think you're going to like it..."

"Just spill it! Whoever did this to me is going to receive every ounce of my wrath!"

"Cell was the one who killed me. He snuck up behind me while I was in the Kai realm, there was nothing I could do to retaliate against him."

Bulma nodes her head in agreement with Shin."And I have a sneaking suspicion that Freeza was the one that put him up to it."

"No way! Are you really telling me that weasel plotted a coup against me to become The God of Destruction?! Now I'm really angry!" Beerus gets up and grabs Shin by the shoulder. "Teleport us to my planet immediately! I've got a score to settle with those two."

Shin blushes and looks away, "Beerus...let's get you some clothes first." The Supreme Kai says nervously. The Hakaishin hides behind Shin to cover himself from the growing crowd of onlookers. 

"UHM! I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY HERE. MAKE YOUR THIRD AND FINAL WISH SO THAT I MAY GRANT IT!"

"Don't you rush me!" Beerus hisses.

"MY APOLOGIES, LORD BEERUS, SIR!"

"That's more like it." He turns away from the Dragon back to the small purple Kai." Shin, you speak Namekian don't you? Get this overgrown lizard over there to wish me some clothes. "

"We really should use that wish to get you back to our universe. Traveling between universe 7 to 6 takes about a day, it will be quicker to use it for that." Bulma replies.

"Well if that's the case you better have some clothes for me to wear."

"Not a problem! I have a few extra space suits on my ship." Bulma says with a flirty wink.

"A spacesuit? That's not attire befitting of a God."

"Well, if that's too good for you, I have a pink shirt with your name on it."

Beerus's ears go down in defeat, "Fine, I concede. Just get me back there as quickly as possible!"


	27. Hunting

The perturbed Hakaishin clutches the large, hard-shelled egg tightly to his chest. When he takes a step back, his Saiyan aggressors take two steps forward. Freeza frantically looks up to the skies for any signs of Cell but he is nowhere to be seen. Terrified, he looks back at his assailants and nervously swallows his saliva."Even your boyfriend has abandoned you. There is nowhere for you to hide now, Freeza." Vegeta gloats.

Freeza snarls at the two, letting very animalistic sounding growls escape his mouth as a warning. Quickly, the Icejin calms down enough to blast at the ground, kicking up enough dust to make a clean getaway. The Saiyan's cough and swat at the air as the clouds of dust and dirt begins to slowly evaporate. When they finally recover they take off at full speed after the defensive Icejin mother.

"Did Freeza really just lay an egg like a chicken?!" Goku ponders.

Vegeta voraciously licks his lips in response, "Indeed, and I'm sure it's even tastier."

Goku gives Vegeta a look of horror, "Geta, do you wanna eat Freeza's egg? That's ain't very nice."

"He won't have to mourn for long, I plan on having eggs Benedict with a side of roasted lizard legs."

Goku sticks his tongue out in disgust, "The egg is one thing, but Freeza too?"

"Oh please! Spare me the moralizing, Kakarot. You know damn well you'll be chowing down with the rest of us. Trust me, I've eaten my fair share of alien species, Freeza's is no different to me."

Goku anxiously scratches the back of his head."I guess it could be kinda tasty...But good or not, I can't eat my friend."

"You consider Freeza a friend, yet me seeing him as food is weird to you?"

"Geta, Freeza is a woman, remember? Didn't you just see her lay an egg?"

"Hmph, I don't care what gender Freeza is or is not, all I care about is getting that egg." They close in on The God Of Destruction who took shelter in a forestry area. He frantically digs a large hole in the moist dirt under a tree. Periodically, he peaks around for anyone who might disturb him. After digging he places the egg inside and begins to cover it up until he hears the soft thud of feet hitting the ground. He slowly adjusts his head around and sees Vegeta and Goku approaching him yet again."Hand over the egg, Freeza!" Vegeta demands.

"Or what?!" Freeza hisses as he backs up into the tree behind him.

"Or nothing, you're next."

"You disgusting animal! You want to eat my egg?!"

"Yeah, and you too after I get done with killing you."

"Filthy Saiyan monkeys! This is precisely why It was so inexpensive to sent you primitive vermin out to eradicate planets. You'll subsist on anything, like the lowly bottom feeders that you are!"

"Hm... I wonder what the flavor profile of a God is like?" Vegeta steps forward and continues to close the gap between himself and the frantic Icejin. The prince looks down and sees the poorly covered porcelain egg peeking out from the soft patch of dirt near Freeza's feet."So you were trying to bury it, huh? Thought I wouldn't find it? How pathetic you look."

Freeza reaches down to grab the egg but quickly finds himself in a tug of war with the overconfident prince."Let go, you ingrate!" Freeza quickly starts to lose the battle of strength as his fingers start to slip off the eggs rounded surface. Freeza glimpses a quick blur of orange flash near him, he looks confused before realizing that it is Goku. The low-class Saiyan puts his arms out to shield Freeza from the wrath of the Saiyan prince.

"Out of the way, Kakarot!"

"I will if you let the egg go, Vegeta!"

"Why are you protecting him? Do you not remember that he's trying to erase the planet, you idiot?!"

Freeza watches while the two Saiyans bicker with one another, he looks down at the egg and back to Vegeta in rapid succession. He lets his left hand go and extends it out to the distracted Saiyan."HAKAI!" Freeza screams and lets out a purple destructive orb sending it straight for Vegeta.

"Get down!" Goku jumps up and knocks Vegeta and himself to the forest floor, narrowly managing to avoid the Destructive ball that then erases a nearby tree instead." Phew, that was a close one!"

"Ugh, get off me, you idiot!" Suddenly, Vegeta's ear catches an earth-shattering shriek coming from Freeza as he shoots out another massive Hakai ball at them. They fly up high above the forest as they witness a barrage of deadly destructive energy fly out from the treetops.

"This is bad, she's starting to panic now. If she keeps this up she'll erase half the city." The men dodge the sporadic attacks until there is a break in activity."What should we do now?" Goku inquires to Vegeta while they attempt to plan their next move.

"Just follow my lead, Kakarot." Vegeta descends back down with the taller Saiyan man not too far behind.

Meanwhile, back on the ground, Freeza props himself against a tree struggling to catch his waining breath. He holds the egg to his chest while deep in thought." I mustn't allow you to ruin my plans!" He says while staring at the egg. He touches it, feeling the warmth from it starts to waver as it is exposed to the outer elements. "Not good! The longer the egg remains out of my cloacal pouch, the cooler it gets on the inside. If I don't incubate it soon, the child inside could end up living the same fate as me!" Once again his alone time is interrupted by Vegeta and Goku, they accost him on both sides retraining him by his hands. "Unhand me, you disgusting ape!"

"Hold him down!" Vegeta yells. Goku grabs Freeza's other hand pinning him to the tree causing the egg to roll to the grass near his feet. "Hmph, you're no stronger then you were when we last time we met. You're unfit to be a God, and that thing over there proves it!" Vegeta points over to the egg eliciting a visceral reaction out of the helpless Icejin. Freeza screams at the top of his lungs, kicking and thrashing at the Saiyan's as his arms start to steadily go numb. "You wanted to come to Earth to destroy my family? How about I do the same to yours?" Vegeta aims his Ki blast directly at the unguarded egg, an audible enraged shrieks escape from Freeza's lips while he wrestles hopelessly for control.

"LET GO OF ME!" Freeza yells.

Goku shakes his head, "I'm sorry Freeza, but it's for your own good." In a flash, a large beam of light knocks both Saiyans on the floor, scratching their heads in bewilderment as they both recover from the sudden impact. Vegeta looks up to see that Freeza and the egg are now gone. "Dammit! He got away!"

Freeza finds his face being bombarded by thick air as he feels his body accelerate forward at high speeds. He looks up to see that he's being cradled within the arms of the missing bio-android as he tears through the clear afternoon sky. The Icejin then glances down at his chest to see the egg safety nestled within his bosom. "You have some nerve showing your face around me after what you did!" Freeza huffs.

Cell ignores the Hakaishin's complaining and takes refuge in a secluded area miles away from the initial battlefield. He carefully lays Freeza down near a rock and keeps on high alert. "We may still have some time. Knowing those two boneheads they're probably yelling each other's ears off right now. While we wait you should find a spot to hide that thing."

Freeza seethes as the insect purposely ignores his prior questioning. "Why do you pretend that you care about me?!"

Cell crosses his arms while still avoiding direct eye contact with Freeza."If this were "pretend", I would have left your sorry ass back there to die!"

"You told them my secret! I thought that I could confide in you!"

"Yeah well... maybe I wanted them all to know about the amazing girl I was with."

"But that's for me to decide, not you!" Freeza angrily snaps. There is an eerily cold silence in the air. The android continues to look forward towards the vast distance they put behind them while the temperamental Icejin goes to rest his chin on top of the egg.

"You're right...I'm sorry. I just want you to feel more comfortable with yourself. You're one of the most powerful beings in the universe, you've always been, so I'm just at a loss as to why you care about how others perceive you. Ok...so you happen to be female... so fucking what?" Freeza gets up from his seated position near the rock, Cell's keen senses instantly pick up on the sudden movement. "Sit back down! You need to do something about that egg before they get here. I'll only be able to hold them off on my own for so long. We wouldn't want that egg of yours to get caught up in the scramble...Get it? Scramble? It's an egg?"

Freeza lets out an irritated sigh,"Shut up! I never asked for your help!"

"How about letting me protect you for once? It's obvious to the enemy that you're too distracted by your maternal obligations at the moment. It's not like you haven't relied on the services of henchmen in the past. So just sit back and let me handle it this time."

Freeza stares in shock while his bloodshot eyes linger upon the determined insect standing guard on his behalf. He sits back down against the rock without putting up much of a fight."You misogynist pig!"

Cell looks behind his back and lets out a small chuckle." I just call it as I see it." The insect's curiosity piques when he notices the Icejin start to stuff the large egg underneath his tail, strategically brushing up dry grass and weeds to create a makeshift nest. Cell smiles while he carefully watches his lover make his best attempt to provide warmth for his unborn offspring. "How about after all of this we start a little family of our own together? Your kids and mine... Who knows, maybe we'll get our little girl back."

Freeza shyly glances over at Cell." Maybe... but only as pawns and servants to be at my beckon call!"

"Fair enough," Cell replies with a smile. The two look across at each other longingly only to be interrupted by two purple beings flying towards them at a breakneck pace. Cell stands tall in the mist of the unmistakable danger making its fast approach. They both stand their ground in full knowledge that the true battle for their survival is just about to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that this story is at 27 chapters already, I thought that it would be over at around 25. I think the next one might be the finale, but we shall see.


	28. Fearless

Freeza points up to the two figures as they move in closer. The large, overbearing power level on the taller one is too unmistakable for them to deny. "Impossible!" Freeza yells.

On the other side of town, Whis is in the process of leaving one of his favorite restaurant stops and is completely taken aback by the enormous power surging within the planet's atmosphere. He instantly stops in his tracks as citizens pass him by on the street."Welcome back, Beerus-Sama."

The bright sherbert hue of the setting sun comes to life with electricity as the vengeful former God Of Destruction closes in on his assassins. Cell stays perfectly still, unmoved by the large gap in power between himself and the deposed Beerus. "Cell...Freeza...Fancy running into you like this. Sorry, I'm not dressed for the occasion, you see someone raided my wardrobe without my permission. If you can imagine I'm not happy about it one bit."

Shin points to Cell and nodes his head. "It's over, Cell! I still remember what you did to me back in the Kai realm." The Supreme Kai turns his ire towards Freeza causing the anxious Icejin to squirm."As for you, Freeza...We aren't as certain that you had any involvement in this, but once this is all dealt with you have to give your position back to Beerus. You're too inexperienced to be a God Of Destruction right now."

The Hakaishin's fear quickly morphs into an unbridled rage as the prospect of losing his godly status becomes a looming threat."You fools! Of course, it was me! I was the one who maliciously plotted your demise, and I will not just lie down and let you take it all away from me!" Freeza lifts himself up from his nesting spot and stares up at Beerus." I do not fear you anymore, for I have the power of a God myself!"

"That may be so, but you lack the skill and training to back it up," Beerus sneers. The two sets of combatants stare each other down for a few minutes to gauge their strengths.

Cell balls up his fist and lightly sighs when the realization of who he is up against seeps in some more."It's now or never. It looks as though I won't be fighting alone. She had all the recourse to leave, yet she chooses to take responsibility with her part in the plot. But She's right... we fought too hard to give up that easy." Cell puts up a battle stance instantly intriguing the former God.

Beerus shrugs his shoulders. "Well, well... have you two gotten bold. I wouldn't let all that power go to your heads, I'm still the same person I was before... and since we established that's the case, I'm sure you know what happens next?" Cell starts to charge his Kamehameha at Beerus and Shin. The jumpy Supreme Kai takes cover behind Beerus. Cell let's loose the powerful blast of energy towards Beerus. The cat uses his forearm to backhand the blast back at the startled insect, instantly incinerating the ground beneath his target's feet. Dust and dirt pick up in the air as a large crater starts to become visible. "You might want to step aside, Shin unless you want us both to get erased again?"

"Right!?" Shin nervously takes cover while Beerus scans the area for signs of activity. What he finds when he looks down into the smokey crater is the androids mangled body covering Freeza and the egg. They lay partially covered in the rich soil, frozen in position, the metallic sheens stripped from their bodies.

Freeza slowly starts to come to and opens his eyes up to view his decimated surroundings. The Icejin's red eyes immediately widen when he sees Cell's heavily wounded body shielding him."Cell!" Freeza screams as he frantically shakes the bloodied android.

"Calm down! I'm still alive." Cell brushes the dirt from his shoulders and stands back up to meet Beerus's gaze. "Dammit! Just the blowback from my own attack ricocheting off his arm was enough to negate our ascended forms!"

"Tell me, what were you hoping to achieve by stealing the God Of Destruction position from me without the proper training?" He looks past Cell and over to the scared Icejin cowering behind him."You can't even defend yourself against me. If I were to be honest with you, Cell is a more suitable candidate for God Of Destruction then you'll ever be. It's a sad conclusion to come to considering all the time I wasted on you."

Freeza seethes in anger at Beerus nonchalant attack on his character. He starts to lean forward to get up but is immediately shot down by the on edge android. "Stay down! I said I'd handle this, didn't I!?" They both avert their eyes back to Beerus and quickly adopt a confused look.

The cat is wiping his eyes trying desperately to hold back his imminent tears," Sorry, I just had something in my eye." He moves his hand away from his clear eyes and places them behind his back. He returns a commanding glare at the two cornered villains."But enough talk... Prove to me that you're worthy enough to be a God." Cell waste no time and flies up to take on Beerus. He spams a flurry of swift punches that are effortlessly dodged by the more experienced fighter. Finally, the insect lands a hit but unfortunately for him, Beerus catches it within his open hand. Cell's eyes widen in horror as the disgruntled God's palm start emitting a bright purple glow. The fear of being erased becomes ever-present on his mind until the energy is let go sending him flying through a rocky canyon wall. Dazed and confused by the impact, Cell slowly opens his eyes as he remains suspended in a Bio-android shaped crater on the surface of a cliff face. Beerus lowers himself down at eye level to meet the wounded insect's gaze. Beerus promptly balls up his fist and before Cell can get a word out he is battered in his soft abdomen by a barrage of unrelenting jabs. Blood starts to seep from his mouth and coagulating around the sides of his jaw. "Not so tough anymore, are we?"

Freeza rushes over to get a better view of the carnage, his hands shivering while he watches his lover seemingly clinging on to the edge of life. Beerus's pulls his hands away for a second, revealing bluish blood dripping down his raw, bare knuckles. Strong emotions begin to flood Freeza's brain, feelings he has never felt before until this instance of seeing the large gaping hole in his partner's stomach." STOP!" Freeza screams. Beerus directs his attention to newly appointed Hakaishin who is desperately trying to catch his breath from screaming his lungs out. He speeds over to meet him head-on causing Freeza to jump back as the purple cat steps in closer.

"You better have a good reason as to why you interrupted our battle?" Out of nowhere, Beerus snatches the large egg out of Freeza's hand. The curious cat examines it carefully. Beerus licks his lips, "It was nice of you to pick up a delicious Earth treat for me, Freeza." Beerus knocks on the hard shell, upon realizing it has more then yolk in it he brings it up to his ear for a closer listen. "This eggs already been fertilized? Quite frankly, I'm too hungry to care."

Freeza grows irritated when the cat starts to toy around with his precious egg in front of his face by placing it on the tip of his index finger, spinning it like a basketball. The Hakaishin watches with concern as the smooth spins become erratic wobbles. After a few agonizing minutes of mental torture, the Icejin has had enough and decides to let his feelings on the situation known. "I've had enough! I will not let you take another one away from me again!"

"Another one!?" Beerus is then caught off his guard by a powerful blow to his right cheek. The egg falls off his finger landing inches away from his feet.

A few feet away Cell and the Supreme Kai watch the events unfold in front of them in shock. The android crawls out from his body mold on the side of the canyon wall after his injuries fully heal themselves. "No way! She actually landed a hit on Beerus!" The entire group remains frozen in place like wax figures, Freeza's fist still extended outward towards Beerus's face. After the initial shock wears off the amateur God Of Destruction feels Beerus fight against his fist that is lodged in the side of his cheek. A chill goes down Freeza's spine when the sharp, beastly yellow eyes of a seasoned God Of Destruction meets his own. Freeza gulps down the sticky saliva coating his throat until only dry coughs can escape his parched mouth. The death glare from Beerus lasts for what feels like an eternity until finally, he averts his eyes down to the egg near his feet.

"This egg...It's not just any egg, is it? It's your egg? I'm aware that your species are self-producers, but you have no business raising a child while in the position of a God. You're an immortal now, so you must put mortal things like reproduction aside. I'm really starting to question the Grand Priest's vetting process. Like seriously...was this the best he could get in my absences?" Beerus promptly kicks the egg aside, provoking a rageful reaction out of the Icejin.

"Shut up...JUST SHUT UP!" Freeza tackles Beerus in the chest sending him flying into the lower section of the same canyon he threw Cell into earlier. Shin and Cell watch on slack-jawed at Freeza's sudden brazen behavior and renewed strength. "I am the new God of this Universe! All shall bow down to me! You told me to put all my mortal desires aside, and that's what I'm going to do, starting with my fear of you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm 100% sure the finale will be the next chapter but don't quote me on that. :D


	29. The Way It Should Be

The sound of crumbling rocks permeates the stagnant air. Freeza's heart races, his nerves on edge after landing a seemingly devastating blow on his former master. Cell watches Freeza carefully from the sky while shifting his eyes to the crater below him." I can't believe what I'm seeing! Freeza hasn't trained a day since we eliminated Beerus, yet she was able to land a blow like that on him. Looks like those mortal attachments have their benefits after all." Suddenly, an immense surge of outside energy distracts the androids train of thought. He looks around for the source of the disturbance only to find himself watching as a crowd of people steadily encroach on their battle."Damnit! It's Goku and Vegeta, and it looks like this time around they brought reinforcements."

Freeza, on the other hand, ignores the prying eyes and continues to fixate on Beerus. Finally out of the plums of billowing smoke steps Beerus, seemingly unharmed. He pats down his white space suit, wiping away the accumulation of dust on his shoulder. "Hmph, lucky shot!" He sneers. The two God's square off, staring each other down for a moment until they're interrupted by the obnoxious voice of Son Goku.

"Hey! Lord Beerus! Need any help?!" Goku belts out while waving his arms to get the irritated Hakaishin's attention.

"I specifically told you nincompoops, to stay out of this!" Beerus calms himself down and reorients his focus back to Freeza. "Now where were we? Ah, yes...Your permanent destruction." The veins on Freeza temples erupt as he gently places the fragile egg down on the grass behind him. His mouth dripping saliva from the unbridled anger building up from within him. He takes off at full speed towards Beerus who still stands stoically with his hands folded behind his back. Soon as Freeza gets in close enough, Beerus swiftly jabs him on the nape of the neck. The Icejin falls to his knees but remains conscious to the shock of Beerus and the other onlookers.

Goku points to Freeza in disbelief, "Wow! An attack like that from Beerus was able to take me out of Super Saiyan 3! How is she still able to move!?"

"Hmph, Beerus is going to make him wish he was unconscious," Vegeta replies. Meanwhile, Freeza's legs wriggle from the loss of coordination. He tries to stand up but his blurred vision causes him to stumble back to his knees.Freeza tugs on the pant leg of the agitated Hakaishin for leverage as he desperately tries to regain his footing. The dizzy Icejin looks up and sees a purple cat shaped blur looking down on him and a pointed finger making it's way closer to his face. Freeza reflexively closes his eyes but is met with a simple flick to the nose sending him flying in the opposite direction. The entire crowd of warriors gasps when the lizard props himself up and slowly stumbles to his feet, violet blood dripping down from his nostrils.

Cell's arms tense up while he helplessly watches the carnage unfold from above."This doesn't look good!" He lands down in front of Freeza to shield him from the vengeful god's onslaught.

"Out of my way! This is my fight!" Freeza screams to the overly-protective android.

"You know I can't let you do that!" Cell snaps. Freeza tries to bum rush the android but gets overpowered in their struggle."You're too weak right now, you need to sit this one out!"

"You foolish insignificant insect! Have you forgotten your place!? I am a God!"

Cell grabs Freeza's hand and holds it tightly."And you're also my girl, that's why I can't let you get yourself killed out there!"

Freeza stares longingly into Cell's eyes and blushes before violently snatching his hand away."Not in front of the mortals," Freeza replies. The two are suddenly struck by an intense purple glow moving in closer. Cell chuckles before turning back around to face the growing light source, his eyes widen in fear as he sees a large Hakai ball barreling down on them. Too close to react, Cell pushes Freeza out of the way getting himself instantly trapped within the nucleus of the ball.

Beerus shields his eyes trying his best not to view what is happening in front of him."I'm sorry, but you left me with no choice."

"Cell!" Freeza screams as he rushes over to the swirling mass of destructive energy. He beats down on the surface of the orb with his fist, desperately trying to make his way in."Cell! Cell! Can you hear me!? Keep resisting against the Hakai!" Cell tries his hardest to extend his body outwards from the crushing pressure of the Hakai. In a panic, Freeza makes another attempt to make entry with some success. He reaches over and grabs the android by the hand and slowly itches him away from the orbs dangerous center.

Beerus wipes the tears from his eyes, in a desperate attempt to regain his composure." You can't even nullify Hakai energy, yet you thought you were equipped to be a God? Let this be a lesson to you or anyone who dare oppose me." Beerus says while intimidatingly leering over at the nervous crowd.

"This is hard to watch. I feel kinda bad for Freeza and Cell." Goku murmurs to Vegeta.

"I'm just disappointed that I've had my kill taken away from me yet again. Now I'll never get my chance to destroy Freeza." They watch on at a safe distance while the Icejin pathetically struggles against the all-consuming power of the Hakai.

Freeza's strength begins to waver and he finds himself quickly being sucked into the vortex as well."I might have a better chance if I was inside, but I don't want to risk it!" Freeza shuts his eyes to concentrate before gathering all the strength he needs to pull himself out of the orb. He also manages to pull out a portion of Cell's left arm and upper body. With the lower half of the insect's body unable to resist the immense pressure, the orb collapses in on itself causing Freeza to fall back only retrieving a mangled torso.

Krillin points out the tragic scene in shock, "Look! Freeza managed to pull out Cell! Well, only partly"

"I never thought I'd see the day that Freeza would care about the life of someone other than himself," Gohan replies.

Vegeta angrily stomps his foot in the dirt, "Would you two be quiet!? You're making me want to vomit!"

"While I commend you for your valiant effort, I can't let you escape alive," Beerus declares.

"Awww, Beerus...Why can't you just send them back to Hell?" Goku asks.

"Because anyone that knows my secret must perish...But there is still the matter of the person that told them how to destroy me... I'll take care of that later."

Goku fearfully cowers behind Vegeta for cover. "I was just kiddin around, Beerus."

Freeza desperately smacks Cell in the face in an attempt to get a response out of him."Snap out of it, you hear me! Snap out of it!" He eventually relents and instead cradles the bisected bio-android in his arms."I'm sorry, Cell...This was all my fault." Freeza starts to choke up until he feels Cell's large hand clasp onto his wrist.

"I should pretend I'm dead more often if it gets you to admit you're wrong." Cell says with a chuckle. Freeza briskly smacks the android across the face before going in for a kiss. The crowd awes while the two villains have their passionate moment together, all except for Vegeta.

Bulma wipes her teary eyes,"Now I feel kind of bad for them. There has to be another way of dealing with them besides erasure?"

"Don't make me sick, woman! Vegeta hisses at his wife. "Hey, Lord Beerus! What's the hold-up?!" Vegeta's face contorts with bewilderment when he sees the Hakaishin fidgeting, his hands unable to lock onto his intended target. The prince looks back towards the evil couple and notices that parts of Cell's body are starting to regenerate itself. "Quickly, before he has a chance to reform!" The Saiyan prince notices Beerus's hand shift towards himself and the crowd of terrified z warriors.

"You're in no position to bark orders at me, Vegeta. Now be quiet and let me concentrate!" To the surprise of the cat god, a familiar angel descends down from the heavensand lands beside him."Wh-Whis!?"

The angel looks back at Beerus with a large grin, "Beerus-Sama."The felines eyes glisten from his tear ducts overflowing at the mere sight of his trusted angelic guardian. Whis carefully looks Beerus up and down,"That's a stylish outfit you got on, Beerus. I never took you for the eclectic type."

Beerus blushes and tries his best to hide his reddened face."It was all I had in short notice, ok!?"

"Ok, ok! I believe you." Whis says with a smile. "Oh, there you are, Lord Freeza."

Beerus jumps back when Whis glides over to Freeza's side as the tyrant cradles Cell's reforming body in his arms."What! Why are you standing over there next to him?!"

"I'm still assigned to Lord Freeza, my Lor... I mean Beerus."

"Oh, so that's how it is? Looks like I'm going to have to win you back then, aren't I?."

In the mist of the celestial beings catching up with one another, Freeza and Cell quietly plot their next move."Your teleportation?" Freeza whispers in Cell's ear. The android returns a slight head nod before placing two fingers on his forehead.

Shin, sees through their plan and points it out to Beerus. "Quick! They're trying to escape! Cell knows a form of instant teleportation!"

Gohan rubs under his chin as he carefully examines the insect's familiar movements. "That's right, he learned it after killing dad on King Kai's planet."

Whis points his staff at the villains freezing them in a blue aura. They can't move their body but are still cognizant of their surroundings. "Stick around for just a while longer, boys."

"What is the meaning of this, Whis!?" Freeza hisses.

Whis ignores the vitriol being thrown at him and instead studies the egg not too far away from them. "Ah, so this is the little one you've been gestating for all this time?"

"What!? How did you know that I was with child?!"

"I can sense the presence of spirits, and you just so happened to be carrying two on you, but that's not the only soul I found inhabiting our humble home." Whis twirls his staff in the air. "You can come out now, Shima!"

"Shima!" Freeza screeches.

The female Kai plops out of the staff landing hard on her stomach. "Sorry for the bumpy ride, Shima."

"Not a problem, Whis," She says while dusting the dirt off her godly attire. Shin rushes over and almost tackles her back onto the ground with a hug.

"Shima!? What are you doing here? Did they really pick you to be my replacement?"

"Yes, unfortunately, I wasn't able to do my job effectively given the circumstances. Thankfully, Whis was there to save me from my imprisonment on the Hakaishin planet."

Shin shoots Freeza a dirty look while holding tightly to his twin sister, "No way! He imprisoned you!?".

Cell stares at her in disbelief, "So that's your Kai? Funny, I never sensed her Ki during my visits. "

"Yes, I hid her in the dungeon and used Ki canceling bracelets on her. Now I'm wondering how long she's been free of her confinement."

Whis smiles at the irritated Icejin and his mate," I freed her shortly after she was imprisoned. Despite my ability to sense spirits, I knew you were up to something. You were so paranoid after destroying Beerus's Supreme Kai that you thought someone might do the same to yours, namely Cell. After your break up, I knew you'd take extra precautions to prevent just that."

"So you're telling me you knew that I killed Beerus the whole time? Why didn't you destroy me? And why was I rewarded by being given the most prestigious title ever granted to a mortal?"

"I felt Cell's energy disappeared then reappeared during the events of Beerus's death, so that wasn't too hard to figure out. As for you becoming a God Of Destruction... Well, technically there is nothing against the rules about killing a Hakaishin and taking his place. Killing the God Of Destruction isn't the problem, keeping a Supreme Kai from his/her duties is."

"Hmph, I heard enough." Beerus walks up to Freeza and places his palm over the frightened Icejin's head. Freeza instantly panics, turning to Whis for help.

"What is the meaning of this, Whis!? You dare to defy me!" Whis ignores Freeza's pleas for help instead hyper-focusing on Beerus as his former student struggles to bring himself to complete the deed. "I said, let me go this instant!" Freeza screams fruitlessly. There is a shocking silence all around as the Earth's mightiest warriors hang on baited breath.

"At least give us the chance to fight back! Cell interjects.

Whis concentrates on the purple felines wavering confidence, his powerful paws shaking uncontrollably as they hover over the disgraced Hakaishin's head."Before you erase them, wouldn't you like to at least know what they were up to in your absence?" Whis says.

Beerus moves his hand away to shrug his shoulders giving Freeza a much-needed sigh of relief. "I suppose It couldn't hurt," Beerus grumbles. Whis gleefully skips over to Beerus and immediately begins to whisper in his ear."Right...Ok then... Did they really do that?" A few agonizing minutes pass and the two godly beings are still exchanging gossip with one another to the chagrin of the antsy crowd. Out of nowhere, Beerus starts to loudly cackle, slapping his knees repeatedly. "Oh man, you mean to tell me you caught them doing that?! How embarrassing!" A few minutes later the cat's emotions shift and he's a sobbing mess clinging to Whis shoulder. "So you're telling me he erased the Namekian dragon all because it couldn't wish back his deceased daughter, and now he's on a quest for the super dragon balls to bring her back?"

Whis nods his head and Beerus collapses into the Angel's awaiting arms. "There, there. It's going to be ok," Whis says while gently rubbing his back to calm him down.

Beerus straightens himself up and wipes his tears away on his sleeve." Thank you, Whis."

"No problem, Beerus-Sama." Whis looks over to the two co-conspirators as they remained trapped within their prisons of light. "So what are we to do with them?" The two stare at each other for an extended period of time before coming to an agreement. "Space prison?"

Beerus turns away from Whis to get a quick look at the culprits before facing him yet again."Space prison."

"Prison? If you think a few metal bars are enough to keep me contained you're sadly mistaken!" Cell huffs.

"You don't say?" Beerus waves to the crowd, "Jaco, get your butt over here!"

Jaco fights his way through the crowd. "On my way, Lord Beerus!" He nervously rushes over, winded from his sprint. Whis takes his staff and uses it to move the villain's hands behind their backs like puppets on a string. Jaco takes out two pairs of Ki canceling cuffs and snaps them on their wrist."You're under arrest, for the crime of unlawful imprisonment of a Supreme Kai, and aiding and abiding in the unlawful imprisonment of a Supreme Kai."

"Is this some kind of elaborate joke!?" Cell grumbles.

"I'm afraid not. The Galactic Patrol is indeed a real threat to my enterprise," Freeza informs

Out of curiosity the patrolman peaks behind Freeza and sees the large egg laying behind him. He picks it up and shows it off to Beerus and Whis."What should we do with this thing?"

"That egg belongs to Frieza's race. With only around 476 individuals left in their population, they're an extremely endangered species."

"484, my Lord."

"Critically endangered, that's what I said! Anyway, I don't have time to sit on an egg all day. The best we can do is donate it to a nursery on its home planet."

"We better go now, Lord Beerus. We'll have to try to convince father to reinstate you. I'm sure we can trust you to take those two off our hands, Jaco?"

"Affirmative, Lord Whis, sir!" Jaco replies.

"Come along Shima, you too Shin. We need you with us to undo the link."

"Right!" Shima nervously walks up to Whis, grabbing him by the arm. She shoots Freeza a quick disappointed look, slowly shaking her head in disapproval before vanishing with the others."KAI KAI!"

Jaco grabs a duffle bag and stuffs the large egg inside and proceeds to zip it up. Freeza becomes misty-eyed, a light sheen coats his sclera vaguely resembling the build up of tears. Cell inches his hand as close as he could get them to Freeza's. They both collectively let out a long-winded sigh fully prepared for the hard time in prison they had awaiting them.

Some days later the two find themselves locked up in a containment cell, with ki canceling walls reinforced with specialized God ki. They languish in the cramped room, bored but grateful to still be alive. "Grrrrr...I can't take it anymore! I want out of here!" Freeza throws a pillow across the room and folding his arms angrily.

"Well it could be worst, we could be back in Hell right now or erased. And besides, at least Beerus requested us a room together." Cell pulls the grumpy Icejin in for a kiss."Now we have all the alone time we need."

"You idiot, this prison cell is heavily monitored, and may I also remind you that Lord Beerus personally requested a direct live feed to his television?!"

"Eh, Nothing he hasn't seen before," Cell replies flippantly. Freeza gives him a playful slap on the face before going in for a light peck on the cheek.

"I suppose serving 230 years with you won't be so bad, long as you mind your manners that is."

"You're not going to serve all that time are you?" Cell whispers.

"You know me too well... but let's not fret over our future endeavors, we have all the time in the world for that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of this story! Thanks to everyone that stuck around to the very end. Sorry if the ending wasn't super satisfying, I tried my best to tie up as many loose ends as I could.


End file.
